[gatorman]

First time here folks but i have been lurking and finding the forum really interesting and informative.

I've been in a relationship with my partner approx 2 years now. We're living together and I love her deeply. We really get on great. One thing I have learned is that there is more to relationships than sex, but unfortunately this is gone to the other extreme.

The difficulty I have is that the sex is really not doing anything for me and I don't know how to approach it as I'm afraid I will upset my partner. I was pretty active in previous realtionships and had a lot of sexual experiences above and beyond the norm.

My problems are that I always seem to be the one that initiates sex. My partner doesn't appear to be interested until I kickstart it. I almost always perform oral on her during foreplay but she rarely returns the favour and when she does its never to completion. In fact, she has never once performed oral on me spontaneuously. When its that time of the month there is zero sexual contact. I get extremely sexually frustrated during this time and find myself having to pleasure myself to "relieve the tension" as it wouldn't occur to her to "please" me.

I am growing extremely frustrated as I find it difficult to discuss with her. She doesn't discuss her likes/dislikes and seems to be very withdrawn where sex is concerned. I on the otherhand am the opposite and would love her to open up and let go.

If things don't change, I can see myself getting very down about this as I have always enjoyed sex in the extreme and I feel like I am going to go mad. I am beginning to think about doing things and going places that I really don't want to go!

I am not happy with a shag once a week with little or no intimacy or adventure. Its always the same - I start it, go down on her, she climaxes, wait, hope and pray she'll go down on me, wait, wait, not tonight honey, shag, over, sleep, wait another week for the same. I want her to come home some day and simply drag me into the bedroom, blow me for once and go wild. Am I being selfish ? I do everyhting I can to please her and she always climaxes.

In my previous relationships the sex was always great and maybe this has set an expectation level for me which is unrealistic - I really don't know.

How should I approach this without upsetting her ?