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Old 03-31-2009, 11:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brennen View Post
I see the idea behind dating around and how it could work for some people but I myself could never do that being as I'm an extremely protective person when it comes to my girl.

"Protective" how? There is a fine line between watching out for the well being of our partner, and, controlling his/her every move or activity.

A relationship is a partnership in which two autonomous adults join together to make a life greater than their individual parts. People join together because they want to; therefore, there is no need for control and loss of freedom.


Those who date around are basically seeing what they want out of a woman while simultaneously fulfilling their sexual desire.

Not necessarily so. Dating is suppose to be a way for people to meet and learn about each other in a closer setting than is possible from casual friendship or circles of friends. Dating is designed to bring us into contact with others in order to learn about their characters, personalities, likes, dislikes, whims, moral values, etc. in non-exclusive non binding friendships. By sidestepping the "ownership" or exclusivity you do not have to deal with all the drama and trauma that often accompanies these relationships when things go wrong or the relationship ends.

I do not agree with you that it is all about sex. What it is about is learning what humanity has to offer us in potential partners/mates. It is also about learning what we like and value in others as a way to help us determine when Mr./Ms. Right comes along.


One of my most guilty moments is when I truly wanted someone else other than one of my x's. Mainly, at younger ages our urges are just too fluctuate to settle down with a single person. Under sexual desire dating around is a better idea. But psychologically it is better to be exclusive to at least lower feelings of jealousy or selfishness, I sure as hell couldn't stand the idea of another man touching my girl, at any age for that matter.

Like everything else this should be analyzed on a case by case basis, there is not one absolute for everyone.
This is precisely the point: There should not be any "ownership" of a relationship that is comprised of a partnership. A man does not own or control a woman, and vice versa. You do things together. So, while you may guide the direction your daily lives take, it is done with her cooperation.

You should not get to this level of belonging until you are ready to settle down and marry. Dating openly as used to be the case a couple can do all the things and have all of the things yet be free to date others if desired all in the hope of finding the ideal partner. When you restrict yourself to an exclusive relationship you limit your opportunities and your horizons and your experiences. Exclusivity should come later, not sooner.

As an example, let's say you date three women at the same time. You may be intimate with one, two, or all three. It just depends. Dating is not about getting laid and your rocks off. Dating is a venue for learning and this is what people nowadays fail to comprehend.
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