[dancingdoc2]

It's not just about the sex, it is primarily about why the adultery occurred in the first place. Often the reason for cheating is because of a lack of intimacy at home. Intimacy can be the lack of sex, romance, and/or especially the lack of a viable "connection". Men and women often state that they cheated because they were looking for intimacy first and foremost--not sex, not romance.

Next comes trust and the fact that one or the other partner violated the marriage vows. Whenever trust is broken, it is difficult to impossible to reestablish. If the woman was cheated on then the hurt and lack of trust harm the psyche and the emotional connection she had. This is what guys often do not understand.

If the relationship survives the infidelity, a woman will often not let the deed die. She will hound her mate for years. The harm caused will not go away unless and until her mate gets what his actions have done to the relationship, to her, and how it has affected her personally--and then can explain this understanding to her. A simple apology won't work!

He must live the rest of his life as an open book, always open to inspection.
He must expect to be making things right until..... In other words, for as long as it takes and this may very well be the rest of his life. On the flip side of the situation, if a man was cheated on, recovery may also be problematical and difficult to achieve. How each perceives the damage to their relationship is different. Men tend to be more vindictive yet also get over problems more readily. This is a generalization because each person is different gender ignored.

So, it is not just about the sex, it is about the bond between a man and a woman.