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This is one of the ways that the D/s or Dominant submissive thing can go wrong. So many men think that it is about them bossing their woman around and ignoring her needs, basically being the epitome of the bad macho amle chauvinist pig...and using it as an excuse to not give what they are getting sexually.
This is not BDSM and it is not D/s. BDSM is not for everyone and D/s is not even for all BDSMers.
I agree with Joe in that if you want to save this relationship you should probably see a professional counselor.
You can't have a really good BDSM relationship until you get the basics of sex down and a big part of those basics is effective communication.
Once you learn how to communicate properly if you decide to return to the D/s thing you might do well to find your local real life BDSM community, attend some munches and workshops and find out what it is really about. Don't believe to much of what you see in movies.
But again, before you try that you need to learn basic sexual communication.
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