[aliceyalice]

before i told him my fantasies involved bdsm and sub/dom type play, he was rather skilled at getting things in order before diving into full penetratrive sex. he was particularly adept at oral. immediately after i told him i wanted to try out the more racy fantasies, though, he just seemed to view it as a way to boss me around and coerce me into giving him huge amounts of foreplay, then to make me wait for hours in a seperate room until he allowed me to come in and have sex with him. he no longer performed oral sex on me, no longer spent any time even letting me get lubricated enough to enjoy sex, just plunged right in. well, i told him i had a completely different idea of what i had wanted in bed. for instance, the girls in the bdsm and sub/dom videos seemed to enjoy alot of foreplay before actually being penetrated. yes, they performed fellatio, but they got something in return. he said that what he was praticing with me in bed was 'the real sub/dom scenario' and that i clearly didn't know what i wanted. so he told me i would 'go back to normal sex'.

he did stop ordering me around, and he stopped making me wait for hours after i had performed foreplay on him, but he only has given me oral sex (the kind that lasts at least 30 seconds or longer, not a quick tongue flick and then pop it right in before i even had time to get into it...oh yes, i have timed it! not more than thirty seconds!) one time since the whole disaster unfolded in October of last year.

he spends inordinate amounts of time scouring the internet for new porn movies (i'll spare you the details) and has aquired a ginormous collection of Freakiness. but we have only seen about ten of them out of a collection of films that exceeds the hundreds. when frinds come over, he will put the movies on almost as a bragging point, "Look what i'm into", that sort of thing, but he never practices what he sees, despite me pointing out what look like fun things to do in the bedroom from the films.

i have tried eveything, greeting him in various lingeries, and fulfilled his sexual fantasies which he had confided to me without hesitation...yet when i mention that i'd like this or that in bed, he always promises it 'later'. he caught me masturbating and punished me by telling me that he could now have a 'freebie' and jerk off without me around. i pointed out that he rarely has intercourse as it is with me, and that i was jerking off because i wanted sex when he didn't...and that i have never ever turned him down on sex (i love sex way too much and can always find time to have it no matter what)...so it wasn't the same thing at all. if i had turned him down, maybe then he could jerk off, but if i wanted it, it seems to me to be a waste of a very scarce resource. as i said, i have fulfilled every single fantasy he has told me he has. i have never turned him down on sex in three and a half years (ever since i moved in his home).

short of tattooing the words 'eat me' on my forehead, i can think of nothing that will prompt his interest in fulfilling his side of the sexual relationship! what the hell am i doing wrong?