[dancingdoc2]

I like to read what people write and how they say it. Let's talk about "love" and how it is usually expressed:

There is I "LOVE",
There is I am "IN LOVE",

There is we "love"
There is we are "in love"

After watching a thread develop over a couple of days it becomes obvious that the wrong phrase is being used. "We love each other" has a much different meaning than "we are in love with each other". Now to my point.

Guys often work hard and go to extraordinary lengths to date, woo, wow, bed, marry, and "get" a woman. Once she has been gotten, she then gets "had". He believes no additional work or effort or time is required to keep her around. For those fellas reading this, if this is your mind set you are mistaken. The time effort and energy continues in order to keep the relationship vital and alive and well.

So what are your man's true feelings for you? He may "love" you, although not be in love with you. He may be "in like with you". Both of these have profound and intense meanings attached to them, yet there is no "chemistry" between the two people involved for there to be a romantic involvement. This is where having a "best friend" comes into the discussion. A person can have two best friends--one male and one female. These are people that become very very close to us and that we may even share secrets we would not even tell our spouses, yet there is a definite line in the sand, and, there is/are no chemistry, pheromones, or sparks.

People (men especially) become complacent and comfortable with relationships and just take them for granted. If this describes your man, even though he may truly be "in love" with you, his lack of attention as well as his lack of action are letting you both down. Tired or not, busy or not, a relationship is a partnership and requires his input. Negotiate something that the two of you can embrace and be happy about. Tell him what you need from him and ask what he requires from you.

I gather from your story that you are no longer living together. If you do, he is responsible for many of the household chores and he should also know and understand what it means to you that he takes it upon himself to do them. If you are not living together, I'm sure you can find similar relationship maintenance matters that he can and should take under his wing.

If he is in love with you, your relationship can be repaired, presuming there is nothing wrong with his libido. On the other hand, if his libido is OK, just not being used, then I would question how he feels about you. If the pheromones and sparks are not flying, it may be that he is not in love with you. If this is the situation, then you must decide whether you like spending time with a friend rather than a lover. It may be time to move on. Talk to him and learn where his head is. It may be that he is long over do for a physical exam. Perhaps he needs his hormone levels checked. What is his masturbation history? Does he do it regularly, frequently, often, not so?