hey... well the 'kit' I wanted to order was from the official vaginismus site
www.vaginismus.com I believe, and there are hundreds of reviews from people who have used it. It does primarily focus on the psychological, with books, DVD's and a vaginal dilator set, to train the muscles to stop having spasms.
We have tried to go through conselling, but the counsellor we had wasn't very good, and there are very very few 'sex counselors' within Australia.
as for the penetration thing, I CAN allow penetration, but it does hurt a LOT... if I'm highly highly aroused (which is extremely difficult for me), it doesn't hurt anywhere near as much, but it still hurts a little.
the main problem here is my sex drive, even if my vaginismus was better, we only have sex once every three to six months, when I want it to be three or so times a week. My first sex counsellor recommended getting a blood test to check for hormone imbalance.