[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by newchris101

I have a connundrum. i dont know what to think about my current girlfriend. i really do love her but i dont tell her....

This can sometimes take a while to decide if you are in lust, just really good friends, or, that there is the makings of love. Whatever the state of your feelings, I do believe you owe her a "position report". Tell her something. If for example you are really in like--tell her. If you are uncertain about it being love--tell her.

I can "tell you" that hearing those three little words "I love you" means more than knowing s/he does yet never hearing it. The same goes for other endearing terms. Whatever you tell her, do be honest.

How long have the two of you been dating? If less that three or four months, it most likely ain't love. What many people say is love is really lust, or strong hormones, or the development of a really great friendship. Love usually takes longer to develop, especially when you are young and inexperienced in the ways of Eros.

and im almost positive sex is coming soon but she has had sex before and it really truly bothers me.

Why? The older you get the more people you will encounter who have had sex before. So what?!

when i asked for sex she flipped and cried and said that it was too soon. Im glad she told me all of this.

Please read the article on boundaries and in knowing how far to go.

Lesson #1: You don't ask for it. A relationship is a partnership. Making love is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with and for each other. Please read this article:

I'm Ready for SEX! (or am I?) I really want to do it.

but i know once u have it u want it still no matter what you say. i just dont know what to do. i just want to know if shes always thinking of her firtst.

She is with you, that should answer your question. That is all that should matter to you. If she thinks about past loves, consider them fantasies. We all have them and they are all harmless unless acted out.

Do not rush into making out, fooling around, moving too quickly from stage to stage, and then intercourse. Take your time, lots of time, getting to know each other well, developing trust, developing your feelings for each other. There are articles listed in the Index on this also.

I suggest you go to the Index, reading, and learning before doing much of anything else except socializing with her for the time being.