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I say tell her what you like, want and need. Sex is not for the shy. If you want her to do something besides simply sucking you during fellatio just tell her, she will probably comply. If you don't express your needs she will continue to think that things are just dandy. Personally I think hands do not belong on the penis during fellation, except to hold it steady for the mouth. You might have seen women in porn movies vigorously stroking a penis in the middle of what should be a BJ scene. Much of what looks cool in porn flicks is not so cool in real life.
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