[Toblerone1]

I've been in a relationship for 5 years now, and i've never had the confidence to tell my boyfriend what i fantasise about...and i don't know how. I think i tend to be dominant in our relationship outside the bedroom, and i am absolutley horrified to admit that what i really want is to act out the sort of fantasies i have when i'm pleasuring myself that are the complete reverse of my apparant nature; as i'm ashamed of them because i don't know where they come from...i think it must be biological...but it has reached the stage where i can't orgasm during sex with my partner without creating an elaborate fantasy in my mind...usually with someone/s who isn't my partner! Because i find it difficult to associate him with dominance...

Basically my fantasies involve:
(I should add, i have pain free fantasies, as i'm not into real violence, i think it's more bondage.)
Fantasies of being Raped/coerced into sex
Being forced to give oral
Being tied up/pinned down and blind folded
Wrestling, fighting, biting (me biting him)
Having sex with someone i can't see/don't know.
Multiple men at once, in multiple places...
Being spanked
Being completely and utterly dominated...
It's only when i feel like i have no control, like it's all out of my hands that i can relax and reach orgasm :-(

I have a small hope for some positive reaction as just occasionally, when he gets really carried away, he does pin me down, holds my head/hair, and he's spanked me before, but always become very guilty when he realises what he is doing...

But i worry if i suggested any of this to him, either his opinion of me would change, or i would feel very guilty that i am neglecting him by expecting him to 'take charge'. I mean, i initiate sex almost all the time as it is so i don't want to give him reason to avoid it!