Hi,
Well...let's see what can be done to ease your angst and concern by giving you a list of facts as well as general information. First, please do not be embarrassed. You have joined a (worldwide) community of people who have questions and concerns and others who have ideas, answers, and facts to share. Not knowing something is OK and not something to be embarrassed about. This site exists in order to help make learning easier as well as to make the practical side of things go easier than it did for us when we were first learning.
> im so confused as to why sex doesnt feel good
it doesnt hurt or anything at all but it just doesnt feel good so i dont enjoy it.
"Feeling good" has a couple of different components to it; first, is physical. The vagina does not have any nerve endings in it that transmit pleasure, so, when a penis, toy, or vibrator is inserted, other than contacting the G-spot, posterior or anterior fornix there is no real sensation inside from stroking and thrusting. There are very sensitive nerve endings around the vaginal opening and just inside, so stimulating these should be included in any Foreplay.
What women do report on as being very enjoyable is a sense of fullness that they experience when the vagina has one of these objects inside.
Second, I have stated many times, mainly for the benefit of the guys, that Foreplay {h/j & b/j) produce much more intense feelings than what comes from intercourse, so if a relationship has not progressed to this stage, they should be happy knowing that what is exchanged during foreplay is usually much more intense. That said, what is so compelling about intercourse?
We derive a different type of pleasure and satisfaction from the act. Intercourse joins a couple's souls and melds the psyches together in order for us to become one with the other for a few minutes.
If you are not receiving pleasure from intercourse, consider that there may not be any "sparks" or chemistry between the two of you. Just a thought. Another possibility is that your mind is preoccupied with other thoughts such as outside distractions or what is happening during any given moment. Not much can be done about the distractions except to make sure they aren't there next time. As for focusing on what is happening, this is a natural reaction to experiencing new things. Relax, let your mind passively absorb what is happening rather than actually focusing on each aspect of your lovemaking.
Next, for the entire session to be enjoyable, you have to be an active participant and open to each experience. Intercourse should not begin until you are ready. You should invite your partner inside either vocally or with body language. Do not begin intercourse until you have been aroused to a very high level. Guys often want to begin intercourse way too soon in the arousal process and this leaves many a partner feeling like being "banged about" like a rag doll.
So, when you have been brought to the brink of an orgasm, you can then decide to have intercourse. Etiquette also dictates that because most sexual positions do not place a woman's pieces-parts in continuous contact with a man's body enough to generate the required friction (1) that she be given the opportunity to enjoy a climax before intercourse--and after, if it is her wish. In between you can have as many orgasms along any time frame that suits the two of you.
> i talked me my boyfriends mom about sex and she said its cuz the guys doesnt know what they are doing.. but ive had sex with 3 guys and its the same with all 3 of them and they all have different penis sizes so.
Your boyfriend's mom gave a pretty generic and offhanded answer, yet there is truth to what she said. As much as any guy would like to be thought of as God's gift to women, like learning to ride a bicycle, there is a learning curve. No one sits upon a bike and rides off without wobbling and falling down a few times. Same here. Learning to be a great lover is not about penis size. It is about gathering a lot of knowledge on a variety of aspects to all this and then practicing.
So, here we are: Three guys, perhaps, who do not have much experience and knowledge, and you, who has just gained a whole lot of insight into all of this. I suggest that you and your boyfriend begin acquiring more information by reading all the articles listed in
the Index found at the top of the main screen.
When you want to make out, know beforehand if this is going to be sex for sex sake or a demonstration of the love you share. Do not be so concerned about the finale', rather, make the journey pleasurable. The two of you will be gaining experience, making some flubs along the way, yet it is out of all this that fantastic sex can result. Intercourse is pleasurable, although, it is more emotional than physical.
(1) Once you have been aroused to a high level and intercourse begins, make sure that if you are not being stimulated sufficiently, that your boyfriend reaches around and stimulates your clitoris and adjoining parts by hand. You should be able to climax this way instead of from all the thrusting going on. He on the other hand, should also be at or very near the peak of his arousal curve before intercourse begins. Many a young guy nowadays operates under the misguided misconception that the way to a great climax is from lots and Lots and LOTS and
LOTS of thrusting.
WRONG. The way to great climaxes for both individuals is through long make out sessions, first, in which you jointly build each others interest, excitement, anticipation, and, sexual tension.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?