MY bf and i are planning to have sex some time in the summer and i just want to know what all do we need/do before we have sex for the first time (for both)
This is an excellent question that I do not believe gets asked enough; or, stated another way, that people give enough forethought to.
I plan to get on birth control
Please talk to your doctor in a few weeks and discuss options. Do you want the pill, patch, or another type? What type? If you are choosing the pill or patch, I recommend getting started fairly soon in order for your body to adjust. Also, there are many different contraceptive medications available and the first one may not be the ideal one for you.
he has condoms
Great! Does he know how to use them? Have him practice rolling them on and off. Also, purchasing a lubricant is very worthwhile, regardless of whether you produce copious amounts of mucus or not. It is important to spread it over the skin of the condom. Lubes are available over the counter in supermarket drug departments and pharmacies.
we're doing in a hotel (because we both still live with parents)
We are both 19
any thing else we both should do/need before sex.
YES! Knowledge is empowering. Please read some of the articles listed in the Index:
--BEGIN HERE--w/a Partial INDEX of Sex Info 101 Sex Ed. Topics
Here is your "laundry list" of articles
the two of you should read:
A.
I'm Ready for SEX! (or am I?) I really want to do it.
Please read the threads linked in the article, also.
B. Chapter Three: (Scroll down the thread)
INTERCOURSE / ORGASMS / and the gentle art of Making Out, FIRST
Frequently, and depending upon the nature of a poster's question, I recommend the person read Chapter Three, first, and Chapter One, second.
C. Chapter One:
INTERCOURSE / ORGASMS / and the gentle art of Humping
D.
The Program
Your guide to wild rampant skin-on-skin full-body-contact sex.''
Pay particular attention to 1-5 & 10-12.
E.
Body Worship How-To by EEK
F. General Information-
I know that when the time comes for this momentous act to occur that the two of you will probably be nervous as well as excited; moreover, in a hurry. The first two emotions are expected, the last one should be traded in for taking your time and enjoying and savoring every moment.
There are several reasons for having intercourse; first, might be just to get the deed done and out of the way so that virginity is not a problem; second, curiosity; third, sex for fun and pleasure; fourth, as an outward expression for the love a man and woman have for each other. Think about why you want to have first time intercourse, now vs. the future. It is not unusual for a girl to loose her virginity and then soon after stop having intercourse until she is older, wiser, and more mature. Think about this, not that this will necessarily be the case for you.
Plan on using three (3) methods of contraception:
1. The man must use a condom and protect his interests and future.
2. The woman must use the pill, patch, or other highly reliable contraceptive
3. As back up, she should also use a vaginal spermicide. Redundancy protects her interests and future!
Birth Control Failure Rates
Caution: Pill - Take only as directed
As a woman, what do you know about your hymen? Is it intact? Partially? Fully eroded away? I believe it is important for every woman to be as familiar with her Vulva {Labia Majora (large lips), Labia Minora (small lips) Urethra, Clitoris (Tip/Hood and Shaft), Vaginal Entrance, Hymen, Perineum, and, Anus), with any other part of her anatomy. If you are not, please take a mirror and a lamp and go on a "field trip" and explore yourself. Know where things are and what they look like. Inspect your hymen or what might be remaining of it. Things to look for if it is intact is how it is constructed. Does the membrane have any holes? If so, how many and how large? Is there a space between the membrane and the vaginal wall. If so, where?
These are important pieces of information to have when it comes time to position the penis in order to make penetration easier. Ideally, the tip of the penis should be positioned so that it will slide between the membrane and the vaginal wall. Alternately, if the membrane has a sufficiently large enough hole, the penis can be positioned against this opening. Either is better than just placing it randomly and probably pushing against the membrane itself in order to break it.
**
Before attempting penetration-
Both of you should bathe and/or freshen up before becoming romantic.
Devote much of your love making session to making out in all of its forms and building each other's level of arousal, anticipation, excitement, and, sexual tension.
Ask for at least one orgasm before beginning intercourse. Why? Because should intercourse prove uncomfortable, it will likely squelch any ability to have an orgasm. So, have at least one during foreplay!
If you are pre-orgasmic and have never masturbated and have yet to learn how to have a climax and what it takes, then I highly recommend you spend part of the next several months learning. Do not expect him to give you an orgasm whether it be the very first time or not. Each person, male and female, is responsible for his/her own orgasms. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve them. Now, having recommended this, it is also important for both of you to know and understand that an orgasm for a woman is neither a necessity or a requirement. Women can enjoy sex with or without an orgasm if there is emotional intimacy.
* Make certain to spread lubrication around the vaginal opening using her mucus and/or a lube. He can do this while fingering her. She can do it just before, also, if desired.
* Make certain to spread the lubricant over the entire surface of the condom. Do not use lubricated condoms. They do not work well for this purpose.
* Work on attaining a high level of arousal. It is better to devote plenty of time to this aspect of your love making session than to just rush to the finish line. Each of you will be much more receptive the more aroused you are.
* Use the "Cowgirl" or Woman Superior position the first couple of times.
Using this position places the woman in control-
+ She knows where P & V are so can easily and deftly bring the two together placing the tip of the penis where it will encounter the least resistance. Doing this herself saves her guy possible angst and embarrassment over fumbling around uncharted territory.
+ She governs the amount of
pressure to apply (Do not stab, jab, or shove) and when.
+ She determines the speed and depth of penetration
+ She determines the speed of stroking
(Go the the site's Home Page to view illustrated animated views of this position, its variations, as well as many other positions.)
* Expect that there may be some bleeding. Place a hand towel under the woman's bottom to protect the bedding.
* Know that as "perfect" as the two of you want this experience to be, it most likely will not go off without a hitch or glitch. DO NOT make this an issue. Guys especially, get all bent out of shape when things do not go as hoped for. Their Fragile Male Ego takes a severe blow when they try for greatness and are let down by some little foible. Focus on pleasing each other whether intercourse happens or not, whether it goes off without a hitch or not. Making love is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with and for each other in partnership. Explore and learn together.