[Brandye]

I have never used this because I have no penis to desensitize. I have some concerns.

Similar products that are applied directly to the penis and rubbed in have been available for decades. They are essentially topical analgesics - think lanacaine. If added to a lubricant, they will be equally applied to the man and the woman. The woman needs no desensitization and will be likely object to numb labia.

I would not use a desensitizing lubricant. If you want some such, use one of the desensitizing ointments to be applied to the pensi. Then use a condom to prevent the woman from becoming numb. The condom may also be a help in slowing the man down.