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The dancingdoc2 is very sage - though compliments come easy from behind a comp screen :-). Being erotically intimate is a component of emotional relationships. Call me old fashioned, but emotional relationships can't be created, unless you see, hear, study, touch and judge each other. The finger on the keyboard is not the brush across someones cheek. You cannot reasonably trust someone without meeting (and, be honest, negotiating) with them - quite a lot.
So the slow sequence of meets, in public places, where the audience doesn't really care what you say to each other, with plenty of room for polite exits, and no hostages to fortune. Classic advice, and correct. Hope it goes well. And whatever your sexual preferences, the world rarely collapses just because you and someone don't make it together. Maybe tears at bedtime, but not the end of the world.
Hey, take a walk in the park, and just ask, "may I put my arms around u and kiss u, even if we never go further?"
PS. You initially said, with a breezy air: "I don't want anyone advising me to break it off if I don't trust him". That's what I call trying to avoid the truth of what u already know is the correct advice. Ha, if I could tell u an infalible technique for detemining how much someone could be trusted....
I suppose you could just cut to the chase when in person. Ask him if he's ever spilt the beans on someone he's passionately kissed or lain down naked with, even when the other person had asked him to be discrete, explicitly and beforehand. As u ask, watch for those tell tale eye glances and hand fidgets. If he doesn't answer straight away and objects to the directness of the question, then this is not a person to share yourself with. I like that as a gambit, 'cause its a real test of character and agility.
Oh, and he must have some friends u know, and can gently play to check out his reliability. They can't all be utterly loyal to him, and know that you and he might become an item. Personally, if u have a lot to loose, but no way of getting a second opinion on someone, then perhaps the gracious exit...
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