[moderatorIII]

> Arutha: The Pill Question
I am not sure I completely trust the pill as an effective form of birth control on its own, but she is more than willing to just use it and doesn't want to go back to using condoms as well...

Arutha - you don't entirely trust The Pill and yet you don't use condoms?

You, sir, are an IDIOT.

In addition to the above, you're also not a man. Why? Because you will let her take the risks associated with pumping her body full of hormones and yet you, big tough guy, cannot wear a simple condom? FOR SHAME.

"Man up or get out."


> ClulessAce: Oral Sex
I've been with my bf for a year and he brought oral sex, but I avoided it. He's knows I've been sexual abused but we havent' went into detail. We have a very healthy sex life and he's been very understanding knows what I like and dislike. We have tried new things that I never thought I would before.

I'm afraid to give him a blow job because it brings back bad memories.

Yes, he does sound like a most considerate male. Excellent choice, OP!

For women the number one issue is her physical security. She must not only feel safe, she must be safe. A man cannot be threatening or even pushy and with a woman who has been traumatized via sexual abuse - he has to be extremely careful and put her physical and mental well-being above all else.

For a large man, this means he cannot even stand too close to her if she's much smaller than he is. Just his physical presence will be intimidating. This is why jealousy in a male has got to squashed - because she will not see it as a anything other than a threat esp. if some man has previously put her through hell with it. Such a woman will be hyper-sensitive.

So when we counsel you men to back off, keep it in your pants, and just talk to her in a non-sexual setting/situation - we're giving you excellent guidance.


> arutha: Increasing sex drive
...my gf has a really low sex drive at the moment, most likely due to the implanon she has in. ...I kinda feel like we are drifting apart physically, and I don't want to put pressure on her while the extra hormones of the implanon are doing weird things (I think its coming out soon) and I will talk to her soon. Just wondering if there is much I can try in the meantime.

At this point, be a "teddybear" for her (good thing for all men to learn). Think about the stufffed animal for a moment - she talks to it, holds it, carries it around, snuggles with it. It is a bit of security in an uncertain world. Try taking that stuffed animal's place with the addition of just a touch of masculine heat - she still eeds to know that you desire her.

Understand?


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