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It could actually have very little to do with what YOU are doing. It sounds like he is just too used to his own hand. He needs to start learning how to get off from sensations that he isn't used to, and as far as I know, that is only going to come from lots of "practice". Either just from you giving him lots of head and hand jobs, or him masturbating himself, but focusing on trying to reach orgasm WITHOUT doing what he normally does. Its something that will come in time, just keep doing what your doing, trying whatever new things you come up with, but don't stress yourself about it. He can't expect you to be able to do exactly what he does to himself, and honestly what would be the fun in that. Giving him head is about giving him something different and better than what he can do on his own. Its up to him to let go of the expectation of "this is how I need to feel before I can reach orgasm" and eventually get to the point where he can get off from something special that you do to him. I think its a fairly common thing for people, male and female, to get caught in a pattern where only a certain method gets them to the point of orgasm, and it just takes practice to learn or train yourself to get there by other means.
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