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Sex doesn't have to be about who is dominant and who is submissive, not even B&D and S&M HAVE to be about that. Many people who are into bondage actually avoid the terms dominant and submissive prefering to be called rigger,captor, or perpetrator rather than dominant and model, captive, victim, rope bunny or some other more pleasing term than submissive. O course some bondage folk ar very much into the Ds thing; to each his own.
My point is that sex, however kinky it may or may not be, should be a mutual effort. If you are using bondage and discipline and someone has to take a "dominant" role you might try roleplaying, which is a big part of B&D anyway- the "dominant" is a kidnapper/cop/boss/teacher/pirate/robber and the "submissive" is the victim/criminal/student/etc.
Otherwise you don't neeed to think-I tied/chained someone now I'm dominant. In recent years I have been drawn to Japanese style rope bondage in which it is definitely a team effort for BOTH parties to have more fulfilling sex. That's the way I have always felt and the way we do things around my house.
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