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I would have a serious discussion about it with your wife and just let her know that it is something you have been curious about for a long time. Let her know what you have told us, that you in no way want to leave her or do anything to damage your relationship or the life you two have, but that it is something you would like to try. Let her know that you understand either way, but you just wanted to share that with her and let her know what you have been feeling.
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