Not to be overstepping my bounds here, but you claim you spend all this time alone and secluded yourself from everyone.
You sound as if you have everything going for you.
*You obviously have the social skills judging by all the posts you have made and the way they are written.
*A bit of self confidence if you can admit that you can be sexy at times. I don't think that is something I usually just come out and say to others.
*You are respectful, maybe to much so, since you hold women to such a high regard as to feel that if you have any sexual thoughts that it is going to inhibit your 'true' actions towards them. I really hope you arn't throwing away a chance to be happy because of that.
All you have left is your sense of humor.
The part I like the most out of all of this is telling the truth.
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The question becomes how do I assert this without having it blow up in my face. Do I just walk up to her and say, 'You know, I've been keeping you away from me...because I didn't think you could deal with me....but you know what...I was wrong'
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She can accept it or drop it by just telling her the truth. If it turns out good you have been worrying for nothing, otherwise she will not like you and you are happy once again for not lusting after her.
I also agree on seeking some sort of professional help. Even if it's free and they can't help you 100%, you are not a lost cause because you tried.