Quote:
Originally Posted by oedipussy
NOTHING TO SEE HERE, FOLKS - just your average "I want to be different" kid who wants think that he's some kind of tortured, misunderstood soul that the whole world has mistreated.
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I don't necessarily think the world has mistreated me, though. That being said, I don't want to sacrifice myself to the machine...so to speak, just to be happy. I mean isn't it better to be yourself and flawed than someone else and well not?
I guess the part of me that doesn't want to change is the neurosis...because for the longest time I've defined myself by the loneliness and the guilt and everything else that I don't really know anything else about myself. I'm afraid that if I lose that stuff, that I'll have nothing left to be.
I mean you're right in that I may be making some of this up, but only in the way that anyone who's intensely shy, or self-loathing or whatever, tends to overinflate whatever it is that makes them that way, tends to imagine failures or insults or manipulations.
It's just extremely difficult to see the world in any other way...