Quote:
Originally Posted by sera300
Go back and figure where this distance began. Childhood? Later in life? Etc. What caused self-esteem issues & lack of trust? Was it an incident one specific or multiple, explain.....
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Oh it's just always been that way. My mother is a manipulative, hateful person. My father, in order to survive, shut off anything remotely close to caring...
Anytime I did anything good...or well...it was for someone else. It's always been that way. Good grades were for mom and dad. Everything I've decided to do is for...other people. The things I like are because I was told I liked them...
And I was always alone in school and at home. I played alone. I talked alone and it really doesn't help that I tend to be...well a bit clever...and I always thought about things differently...and then in middle school, everyone had their boyfriends and girlfriends...and I was alone...and then when I did finally fall for someone...she dropped me for some jock...and I said...no more. I don't need this. And I was like that for a couple of years...and then I fell for this other woman...and I fell even harder for her...and she ended up leaving me for someone (who was...supposedly just like me...only you know...more attractive....) else...
I've always felt at best tolerated, at worst unwanted. That there were always people better than me so they just deal with me as an adequate filler for them.