Quote:
Originally Posted by Brandye
The inabilityto "attach" can make for a very lonely life. It can also lead to depression and all sorts of bad things. See a councellor and get out of that rut.
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I tried going to a counsellor...I don't think she was very good though...actually I found out she was rather...unqualified...(I mean it was a school (college) counselor so maybe I shouldn't have expected a whole lot...). The problem I have is that I don't want to open up to anyone...because well I don't want them to judge me (and I know counsellors aren't supposed to judge but we all know that is humanly impossible)...I mean the only reason I went to the college counsellor was because I was Gestapo-ed there...after a rather sad half-hearted attempt to 'stop' being.
I just can't help but feel like I can't be fixed, and deep down part of me doesn't want to be fixed. It's just that this woman really makes me happy...and I'm afraid that if I'm 'just friends' with her...it'll make the relationship worse...I know all about that unrequitted love stuff...and it's not something I want to go through again. I wouldn't be able to stand her being a friend and watching her go out with another guy and have to listen to her tell me about it *I've done that before too...and it isn't nice*...(I know this is starting to sound stalkerish...). It'd be so much easier if she just didn't like me at all...
I just have this pent up guilt about pulling her chain around. I wouldn't have this guilt if she didn't like me...you know. I really wished she didn't...