[kate_luana]

So I believe I mentioned in my previous post that I'm in a very serious and committed relationship with my boyfriend, with whom I regularly have manual and oral sex. However, we have never attempted intercourse, despite the fact that we don't have any moral dilemmas with intercourse and we both want to share the experience.

My problem is that penetration, of any kind, HURTS. I admit, I've never used tampons before, nor have I ever inserted my fingers into my vagina. However, my boyfriend and I, to try to "ease our way" into the intercourse process, have attempted manual penetration... But no matter how much foreplay was involved and how private and comfortable we both were, the moment his fingers are in me just a little bit, I feel like I'm being stabbed with a knife and I say "OW, OW, STOP!", ending up emotionally distraught (sobbing and shaking) afterwards. I have found that I can tolerate having his tongue penetrate me, but only if I am consciously doing deep breathing exercises and trying my hardest to relax.

I don't have any kind of traumatic experience to make me wary of penetration. My boyfriend is the most sensitive and laid-back guy I can imagine; never has he pressured me to move farther than I was comfortable with, even when we were living together over the summer. I trust him completely, but that is not the issue. When I seize up, I don't think about anything other than the pain.

Having this happen all the time makes me feel awful. I want to be able to share more sexual experiences with him, and I feel like this pain is denying the both of us a really wonderful bonding experience.

Is this a common problem, to this intensity? What can I do to correct this? Have any of you had a similar problem?

Thanks very much for your time and advice!