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Originally Posted by machine_rat
My question is that is that while feigning the hetero life, do gay people tend to hide a lot more than just their sexual preferences, like other little things they find appealing? Or is there a need to reinvent themselves?
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Sometimes it can be one or the other or both, Machine. When someone comes out a lot of things open up to them, not just sexually. He has probably met a lot of gay people and found the freedom of being able to express himself in ways he couldn't before very compelling. He might be exploring bars, clubs, groups and other activities he wouldn't allow himself to in the past. It's a complicated process and stirs up all kinds of self examination that can change a person's perspective on his past environment and circle of friends.
I can't comment on your friend, but I know for myself I drifted away from some people, stayed close with others. I had found situations where the relationship was based on needs that weren't being met in ways they would have if I had been out. Those I sort of let fall apart.
But also people move on, and maybe it was coincidental timing. You two may have drifted apart even if he had stayed closeted. Coming out doesn't so much change you as make you more honest with yourself about who you really are.
Hope this helps.
