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It seems to me that the Kivin method in the youtube clip, thanks Dancindoc, utilizes a few things that really help get it going.
Many people skimp on foreplay, and can make things more difficult. Personally, I try to keep away from direct clit contact as long as possible to build up more anticipation. I focus on all all of the areas around it, with an occasional flick, but I usually go in a closing in pattern. This maintains a constant, slowly building stimulation. I move maintaining touch so the rhythm isn't interrupted and things blend together, no surprising stop and go. My current partner has difficultly letting go, and this greatly helped. The Kivin does this as well, helping increase arousal like foreplay, but letting you get to it faster for those who simply can't wait to dive in there(or have done to them).
As for bluetides question, I'd do this at the start. I've never met a girl who wanted you to turn it down in the middle or near the end and go away from her clit. Starting slower and building up however........
I prefer to do something very similar to this but use my tongue and go up and down/left and right in the same area as the girl in the video instead of a finger, while having a finger massaging the entrance to her vagina. Sometimes I'll massage around her anus as well or by itself. I increase pressur e or slide my finger across the most sensitive part of her anus everytime I get very close to or touch her clit so the strong sensations all hit at once and blend together. This is especially important if she's never had anyone touch her down there so she won't be uncomfortable.
Side bonus: she now loves it when I play with her anus as well, and she asked me to start doing more without me ever bringing it up. While doing this one time with her straddling my face she reached back, held my hand where it was then lowered herself so I was inside her. Great way to introduce anal play.
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