[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by IguanaMan

Great article doc.

Thank you for the kudos.

I got a question. I'm sure the answer is simple, but I can't exactly figure it out. When you say, "he must be able to keep part of his brain focused on what is happening" what could help me better? I think that is where I am having a problem. What could I focus on to help me not get consumed?

This just came to me while reading your question: the dual focus is not unlike a TV with PIP {picture in a picture) where you display a small window in some part of the main program that keeps you abreast of what is happening on another channel. You can focus on the main event and enjoy the action, yet part of your brain (think: peripheral vision and a hand wildly waiving off to the side to get your attention) scans what is happening in the little window so if necessary you can focus on that or if necessary swap windows, making what is happening in the little window the big picture, temporarily.

The sensations you feel, the emotions you experience are the main event and normally capture the majority of your attention, yet a portion of your brain monitors your progress up and along your arousal curve helping you with checks and balances so the climax does not sneak up and surprise you until it is much too late to do anything about the inevitable.

The intent of this thread is to give men the insight and tools to deal with surprises and how to (1) recognize the sensations that immediately precede reaching the trigger point of an orgasm, and (2), giving you two tools (Squeeze technique and the through mastering the exercise) ways to hold off an orgasm.

When I was learning to Ballroom dance, and was beginning to venture outside the dance studio into the "world", I discovered a lot of single women attending dances, either alone or having brought a girlfriend along for company. Thought I: "what is it that compels women to go dancing?" I began to ask and received many answers, some technical, some that it was enjoyable, etc. Yes, it was all these things to me, as I enjoyed the technical aspects of dancing, the challenge of dancing the same dance differently each time, the fun of it; yet it wasn't until one particular woman looked up at me from her chair and said "because it feels soooooo good!" Again, thought I: "it does? " Sure, it was enjoyable which is one reason I kept at it yet up to that point in my training and experience, everything I was doing was a conscious effort. There was no room in my conscious mind for the "it feels soooo good". This would come months later when muscle memory and training became "second nature" and along with choreography on the fly was transferred to my subconscious mind. Only then did I begin to really really enjoy the "ride", also.

Now, to answer your question. A person's experiences learning to dance and our experiences managing our physical and emotional responses have much in common. Initially, and for a while, you will be required to make a concerted effort to focus more on what your penis is feeling than what your mind is wanting to blissfully enjoy overall. The purpose of mastering the exercise with the help of your partner is so you can learn to first recognize the different sensations and then associate them to different benchmarks along your arousal curve--and particularly what it feels like just before reaching the point of no return just before a climax becomes inevitable.

Chapter Four: Please scroll down the series until reaching this chapter.
MORE: From bungling student to graduating Lover Cum Laude

As you gain experience, learning when to divert your attention from your blissful enraptured state to that of "management duties" (flag waving!) will become less of a conscious effort and will eventually become automatic. It just takes practice, practice, practice. Work on the exercise until you can regularly and consistently hold off orgasms and not have them sneak up on you. Once you can do this, incorporate this new skill into your lovemaking. It may seem for a while that you are not able to fully enjoy the rapture but as you gain experience, your subconscious mind will monitor that little window and the hand waving alerting you to the fact that you need to do something NOW to keep from climaxing.

I hope this long-winded monologue answers your question and clarifies it for others who may be reading all this over our shoulders. If not, send me a PM.