She met me on one of my shopping trips about three weeks ago and has hinted me or better in our last encounter " When can I make something happen between us?"
So I have this dilemma and do not know what to do reject or accept her advances.She is above the age of consent in Australia (18)
How do I explain to her that I have mixed feelings going to bed with her?
Fri, 08/31/2012 - 23:02
#1
20 year old girl
First: why are you hesitating? If you don't know, how can you explain your reluctance to anyone else? Think it through.
Second: Is she really what you want/need?
Third: With all of the men in the world, why you?
Just some things to consider.
DO you actually have mixed feelings, or is this a "Brain vs Other Brain" scenario?
If the only part of you that feels good about going to bed with her is the Other Brain, while the Brain is trying to tell you "woah fella, something's not right here" perhaps you ought to let the Brain overrule on this occasion.
There must be a reason why the idea makes you feel uneasy, and more often than not such inklings are going to be worth listening to. I suggest you hold back untill you are clear on what this is, lest you regret it later.
*by "other brain" I mean penis.
Believe me I often ask myself this question why me?
But she is not the only young one that gives me direct hints, eye candy or direct hints
The other day at the gym a working out and a girl noticed me she moved closer and closer and all the suddenly starts licking her lips, arched her back played with her hair and that was quite obvious to the people around me and she introduced herself as Mary. One my mates a PT said she wants sausage mate!
Can't explain young girls pick me not all of them but a selected few do seemingly take notice of me I am mature fit but thats about it.
Coming back to this one I truly believe she is just hot and horny for me and if I do not do it someone else would for me
Am I using this as an excuse to get in bed with her I do not think so
What bothers me she is the same age as my son
I am not looking for a relationship of any sort nor is she just pure carnal desire.
With this one finally my top head prevailed
And what exactly is that supposed to mean?
Perfectly obvious what he is saying. He kept it zipped. How many early middle aged men would have done that with the gift of an attractive 20 yo?
I have a hard time when people say stuff like that on the internet sometimes. He could've just said "I kept it in my pants" or something instead.
He's referring to my use of the "other brain" euphemism.
However him deciding to keep it in his pants isn't exactly a confirmation that he isn't pursuing this girl and he also isn't exactly telling us why he kept it in his pants. That another reason why I was asking. That cryptic line he was giving wasn't giving enough information.
When a heterosexual male has doubts about the wisdom of enjoying sex with a desirable woman, simply the fact that he is having doubts at all is evidence that he should run rapidly AWAY from her. The survival instinct is a good thing.
"When a heterosexual male has doubts about the wisdom of enjoying sex with a desirable woman, simply the fact that he is having doubts at all is evidence that he should run rapidly AWAY from her. The survival instinct is a good thing."
Depends on if it is survival instinct or socially imprinted norms and ethics causing the doubts.
We know social imprints are an excellent way to smother all instincts. And I'd say; especially when it comes to sex, which tends to be so heavily weighed down with it. We're so impregnated with social imprints, that our own gut can even respond the same as it would do to our instincts. Takes some introspection to unmask it.
Not saying that is the case here (I tend to go for instinct in this case, even though only Kievan can really judge it). But: it is why I wouldn't consider the above quote a rule. Such a rule only goes for men who are very stable and well in tune with themselves. In my humble opinion; that's not many ;)
Although it would also be helpful if he told us why he kept it in pants and not pursued her though.
Well, of course! But why mess around with any other kind of man? And more to the point, isn't being stable and well in tune with one's self the mark of being an adult regardless of gender?
Precisely why he did not pursue her is something only he can decipher which is what I encouraged him to do in the first place because he can't explain it to her until he can explain it to himself.