One thing that I found useful, was that the initial penetration was from behind. Like he entered me and did a few thrusts in doggie style after fingering me just to get it loose enough and then I got on top and I actually ended up getting a little pleasure out of it before he came.
i hadd no pain the first tiime,
i just had sex less than a week ago, he played with me until i was wet enough for him to try.
It took like 30mins for him to fully go in because it hurt me everytime it went a lil deeper. We had great communication during sex and he helped me relax so it didnt hurt as much.
Sex isn't just physical but mental, you have to have trust in the person your giving your first time to. Because you need to know (if anything), he can stop and reassure you that everythings ok.
We had sex again and it still kinda hurt, but it's something that my body wont be used to for a bit more.
Yah I went to the gyno, but they said it's normal for sex to be painful for some girls until like the 3rd or 4th time. Until my body gets used to it.
I assume, jessie, that you have had a complete gyn exam as all women should before becoming active. If not, off to the doctor for a proper exam. It should not be painful.
So myself and my guy have been messing around and exploring each others zones. He is more experienced and is quite large, he mentioned that he may not fit because of how many fingers I could take when he was fingering me. We decided to try and see if he could fit and take things slow before actually having sex. He kept asking if I felt pain and I did feel a burning pain at the back of my vaginal opening. We stopped and I felt where it hurt and realised I was bleeding, on closer inspection I realised that the skin had split....is this normal??????
If it simply the splitting or tearing of the hymen, it is normal. If it is actually the skin of the perineum, that is not normal.
You are again demonstrating the importance of a gyn exam BEFORE. Time to make an appointment.
This may be a stupid question but how do you know if its the hymen or the perineum?
To be honest in Ireland, where I'm from we don't usually go to a gyn exam at all..in America its much more common for girls to have a gynaecologist but if I'm still worried I will make and appointment
Make an appointment. I have found Irish bottoms to be very similar to Scottish bottoms. If you are "torn" and do not know what is torn, you need someone to determine whether or not there is damage.
thank you for your help :) I've realised that it was my hymen that tore!
The first time really hurts because of the tearing of the hymen. But it will be much easier the next time.
it does hurt for the first time. You have to be ready and willing to go through with it. You don't need lubrication necessarily females are suppose to be natural moist down there because they are so aroused. It hurt for me the first time and I said never but he convinced me that he would go slow. At first he was going all fast but once I told him how I felt he slowed down and it hurt but I went through with it and enjoyed it. Bleed the next day only a little.
In my opinion; you don't need to be willing to go through any type of pain. And I don't see why we should fill young minds with that notion. Why on earth would you go through that? Even go through it willingly?
I'd say that if a girl is thinking "never", then "now" is certainly not the time. No matter how slow he will go. Women don't need HIS convincing in order to take his penis. You should be ready to tear off his clothes and his skin from his flesh, because you so much want it inside of you!
And that moment will come. I think the reason why so many women report pain and discomfort, is because they didn't wait for that supreme moment. It makes me believe too many were still in a mindset where doubt, fear, nerves, disgust, rejection, even the believe they should expect to be in pain, etc ruled the show. A mindset that wasn't overtaken by a burning desire, desperate "wanting" and only interested in all the good fun and pleasure that comes with it. It's like a surfer not waiting to catch the wave; that will inevitably give you a very hard time...
Expectations have such a huge impact on us that if we believe we will be in pain, we're more likely to actually feel it. Sure there may also be a physiological cause to pain when having sex, particularly the first time. So is there for the few men who find their first time (very) painful because their foreskin is (too) tight, inflexible or even scarred through circumcision. Yet we don't go around telling boys that they should willingly go through pain their first time, do we? We don't because most of them will have a good time and pain should be a reason to stop. Your vagina is as much made for sex as is his penis. So why should we expect only men have all the fun?
A good first time could be anything from; "I liked how close we were" or "that was weird, but in a good way" or "didn't hurt, but was nothing special either" to "I've never felt so in love!" or "pleasure is tingling from my head to my toes" or even "I'm seeing so many stars I think I may never put my feet on the ground again!". These are all variations to what you should expecting. This thread should be called "1st time pleasure 101"!
I'd say that every girl should in advance make a no-pain-promise to herself when it comes to sex. For the first and all following times and all sexual experimentation that may come later. When it hurts, you stop (unless it turns you on ;))
> > The first time really hurts because of the tearing of the hymen. But it will be much easier the next time.
Truth be told, this is not a foregone nor accurate conclusion. Not always but very often a woman's hymen has eroded away by the time she is an older teen. Second: Intercourse may or may not continue to be uncomfortable simply based upon how rough a man is with his actions anytime. Third: "Much easier the next time"? Not always. Much depends upon the healing that needs to take place and the rubbing against raw membrane. If "next time" is a week or two away, then perhaps this is so.
> it does hurt for the first time. You have to be ready and willing to go through with it.
Yes, you do have to be ready and willing; however, a woman must also be knowledgeable about the entire process from contraceptives, to her cycle, to knowing how best to accomplish the "deflowering" itself. Few have all the necessary information.
There is an article in the Index that discusses first time intercourse. I suggest reading it for any person contemplating their first time.
> You don't need lubrication necessarily females are suppose to be natural moist down there because they are so aroused.
Maybe yes, maybe not so much; to each her own and each circumstance is different. Many of us recommend lubricating the condom, the penis if none is used, AND the entrance to the vagina, regardless of how wet the woman might be as a result of Foreplay activities. The fault I find with your generalized statement is that while a woman may have plenty of mucus available it is not always going to be at the entrance and this means that a man should check and if necessary distribute it there so that his penis does not rub against a dry membrane!
> It hurt for me the first time and I said never but he convinced me that he would go slow. At first he was going all fast but once I told him how I felt he slowed down and it hurt but I went through with it and enjoyed it. Bleed the next day only a little.
Explore and learn together. Begin by reading the articles discussing first time intercourse, discuss what you have read and add the information to what each of you already knows. Your man responded well.
Let me get this straight. I acknowledge the belief that pain is just a state of mind. I have used dildos and vibrators as such to help prep me for the eventual first time...and according to this thread...does the first time ALWAYS hurt????
Let me start off saying I'm a guy, so I have no validity to what I'm going to say.
It "can hurt" every single time if the guy is a moron and can't read your readiness. I've been married to the same woman for 14 years but if tonight I just randomly plunged in cervix deep I'd get slapped!
But if I take some time, pay attention, and do what I know she likes its all good. Even abruptness can be good, depending on the mood. Since you already have a handle on how you like a device entering you, you're already a step ahead of the game. You'll be able to direct your first guy on what to do.
That's exactly why I made that post (a few above yours). Please read it.
So many posts in this thread are only contributing to the believe it SHOULD hurt, which in itself will only encourage women -and their lovers- to accept pain. Expectations of pain lead to bracing yourself, automatically tightening your muscles and thus very likely leading to pain. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Expect having a good time instead! From my own experience -and many similar happy experiences of other women and quotes from experts-; the recipe to a great first time is feeling highly relaxed, comfortable, intensely pleasured and a burning desire to "want" it.
You should NOT expect nor accept sex to EVER hurt. Incl your first time.
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