I had sex for the first time a few days ago, and it hurt because of the pressure inside. Everyone says there would be a ripping feeling when the hymen broke. I did'nt feel this, and there wasnt any blood, except for a couple of splashes. I dont do much sport, i dont masturbate. I've never felt any pain before that It could have broken. Sine the first time, little bits of blood keeps coming out. I've heard that it doesn't always break the first time, but we had sex 3 times.
yeah, i say as your getting more used to doing it its stretching your hymen, thats why with the odd bit of blood.
with the last girlfriend i had who was a virgin, it took her a little while to be wet enough to enjoy sex and last for a while, we always used the lubricant to help
i think we only we did it a few times without it. make sure hes playing with you and kissing you all over and around the neck is a good place to get anyone started in the mood
Some women's hymen breaks in stages. The first time could be a partial tear that could result in what you describe. Depending upon it tears, a bit can remain attached for several times and tear just a bit more each time around the outer edge. Get a mirror (magnifying make-up mirrors are really good) and good light and look at your self. You may find a little flap still attached somewhere at your vaginal entrance.
Please disregard the previous post. Kissing your neck will do nothing for tearing your hymen.
first tym never hurt me at all and since that day i just went along wit the tiny bit of pain yu gt at first - wel tu me it wasnt evn pain or anything tu du wit pain - jus du it loool
My first wife and I were very uneducated about sex when we got married. We were also very conservative... almost thinking that the only reason for sex was procreation. :rolleyes: Our honeymoon was the first intercourse for either of us. Neither of us were prepared for the amount of pain and bleeding she had. She would not have sex again for 2 months and then only reluctantly out of fear of being hurt again. Sexual differences between us grew as I kept learning about it but she staid stuck where she was. Eventually, we got a divorce. :o
I'm 21 and just recently lot my virginity. I wanted to wait until I was completly reaady.I was also afraid it would hurt as we tried once and had to stop. The 2nd time we tried I was much more relaxed.It still hurt but only for about 10 seconds and after that it felt good. We started with girl on top and after I felt the pressure/pain subside we moved into missionary and let him take over. I was 100% sure I was ready and relaxed and the guy I lost it too I've known for 9 years and dated several times so I was completly comfortable.We took it slow with lots of foreplay and just tried to have fun. My point is it's going to hurt alittle it all depends on your body.I bled more than average but I didn't even know it until he mentioned it after we were done. Just take it slow and make sure you and your body are 100% ready.
okkkay! so i did have sex before...but...it did hurt a little...but then it didnt get anybetter...lik it didnt feel good...it just kept hurting...was something not right down there? I also havent had sex then that night...so will it hurt again?:confused::confused:
AWWWWWWWWWWW!!! thats sooo sad!!!
My friend said it hurt really bad the first time so it's making me really worried. Like I'm ready but I'm so not looking forward to the pain. ><
My first time did hurt so bad, that I've never experienced anything like that before. I couldn't believe the pain. Anyway, after that, we had sex for 5 or 6 times, I was so tight that we could barely did the intercourse. After a couple of sex, I still felt the pain, not like the first pain but there was a pressure and I felt it was like my genital was irritated. We thought it would got better as we had sex but it just didn't. Next morning, the irritation pain was a little gone but I still didn't enjoy my sex. I'm scared of that it would be the same on our next times.
I lost my virginity to my husband at the age of 23. We had a nice candle lit dinner. I made our bed ready. Spread some rose petals on bed. He was excited. We started with kissing and slowly he asked me to undress. I refused. I told him to switch of lights. Finally he did. In dark, we undressed each other. He was very much interested in Vaginal sex . He was on my top. He raised my both legs up on his sholders and touched by entrance. After little inserting I was in pain and pushed him. He was upset. I told him sorry. He again started but same thing happened. He came by my side. and kissed me. I told him sorry and requested him that I would give him in morning. He agreed but asked my for some Oral as he was already hard. I did it. I gave him nice oral pleasure to his satisfaction. We slept . In morning, he woke up and started licking my pussy. I woke up. I smiled and he understood my permission. After some foreplay, he slept on me with my legs apart. He pushed a little and I again resisted and cried a little. He stopped and kissed on my eyes and told me that this happens to all. Just bear for some time. And finally, he pushed and gave a big thrust . This time he had hold my hand under his hand. He just went on. He was right. He knew he had to take some lead. He just teared into me. I was satisfied seeing him drop on me after he was over. I kissed him. He patted on my cheek saying ' you have done it'
I was in pain. little feverish in morning. But from next day, slowly, everything was fine. For a week we enjoyed only regular sex. We enjoyed everything.
Please read my reply in this thread.
There is information about an exercise that a woman can do to help make the vaginal opening and the hymen more pliable. I suggest that the two of you try this over the next several days and see if there is any improvement.
It is possible that there is a medical issue instead of a small opening and/or intact hymen, so if the exercise does not help, I recommend visiting your doctor for help.
how old is too old to be a virgin? i;ll be 23 in january and i still am!
i know im supposed to wait until the rigth person but i cant help but feel retarded!
im such an old virgin!!
[QUOTE=girlygirl9999;246085]how old is too old to be a virgin? i;ll be 23 in january and i still am!
i know im supposed to wait until the rigth person but i cant help but feel retarded!
im such an old virgin!!
You are never too old unless boys dont look at you. But sooner the better. Dont try to look older. Find a nice chap and let him deflower you. You are missing a lot ...
You are in a minority at 23 but certainly have not lost all. There have been a surprising number of both and women post here over the years, some in their thirties. You are not "supposed" to do anything. At this point in your life, you make the critical decisions. Learn all you can about how your body works, how to protect yourself and what you can do to please yourself.
On the brighter side, you are still eligible, in many countries, to have the Gardasil shots. Once you are no longer a virgin, that will not be available. Something to ask the doctor about when you go for a thorough gyn exam preparatory to sex.
I know how you feel.. I was 22 the first time I had sex... You shouldn't feel alone because you are not.. I would suggest that you find a man that will appreciate the moment you are sharing with him.. You might also consider that sex brings on emotions in many people.. Some people develope emotions for the first person they sleep with. If you have decided you are going to have sex take your time chosing who and when. You may remember that moment for a long time so take your time getting there.
Im sure is other people who are alot older then you who are still virgins, i know of a female myself from the net who is 28
i wouldnt worry about the age you are being a virgin, i lost mine when i was about 23, when its the right person, it will happen
i'm a virgin but plan on loosing it this weekend formy bday. i'm ready an i know the person that i plan on losing it with very well we have been together a little over a year but the problem is im really nervous like what if i do something wrong? will it hurt if so how bad? will i bleed if so how much? please help....
a have had sex twice and bled both times my second time was last night. and i dont know why.
Bits of your hymen had adhered to the rim of your vaginal entrance. Not unusual.
I havE a problem with my gf she is very tight to the point that i ciant evn put half of a fngure in we both want to have sex but as soon as she feels any type of presure she tells me to stop some body please help i cant stress it enough u guys say finguring will losen her up but i can not even do that and i when ever we have forplay she gets super wet so its not like she is dry she stll has her hymen someone heeeeeelppppppppp pleeaaaaase regular fingering will not work
[COLOR="Blue">y0U HAV3 N0THiNG T0 W0RRy AB0UT AT ALL...ASK HiM T0 THiNK AB0UT y0U AND H0W y0U F33L...b3F0R3 y0U HAV3 S3X AGAiN ASK HiM T0 FiNG3R y0U AND G3NTL3Lyy STR3TCH iT...AFT3R H3 HAS d0N3 THAT HAV3 HiM 3AT y0U T0 STR3TCH S0M3 M0R3...WAiT UNTiL H3 HAS STR3TCH iT AS CL0S3 T0 TH3 WiDTH 0F HiS P3NiS AS P0SSiBL3..i DiDNT HuRT AT ALL Myy FiRST TiM3 0R WiTHH Myy 3X....g0 F0R iT...R3LAX S0M3 HuN...y0U N33d T0 b3 R3LAX3d AND HAV3 FuN iTS A SP3CiAL TiM3 F0R b0TH 0F y0U...MAK3 TH3 M0ST 0F iT...JuST START 0FF KiND 0F SL0W UNTiL y0U g3T uS3 T0 iT...i H0P3 i CuD H3LP y0U S0M3**[/COLOR]
Does you E key not work?
It didn't hurt my first time (hymen was already broken) and I have been having sex for about 6 months now, two to four times a week, sometimes it hurts though when me and my partner have sex. It takes a while after feeling some pain there until his penis is already all the way in, then I am fine and dandy after that. But it feels like there is too much pressure when he's going in. Is this normal?
first time i had sex it did hurt and i even bleed a bit after. No matter what you do chances are you WILL be sore, it'll still be a little painful the next couple times you have sex but it gets WAYYY better. Do what people have been saying and have him finger you for a bit and then have him slowly get it in with lots of lube. Good luck...?
[QUOTE=blueyeslove;248982]It didn't hurt my first time (hymen was already broken) and I have been having sex for about 6 months now, two to four times a week, sometimes it hurts though when me and my partner have sex. It takes a while after feeling some pain there until his penis is already all the way in, then I am fine and dandy after that. But it feels like there is too much pressure when he's going in. Is this normal?[/QUOTE]
Yea, i'm pretty sure it's normal, that's pretty much exactly how it is with my boyfriend and me.
[QUOTE=KinkyKitty;92614]I've tried having sex before, but we stopped because it hurt, now we are looking to try again. We're both virgins and the only thing that is keeping us this way is because I so afraid it will hurt. Does anyone know anything to make it less painful?[/QUOTE]
many girls feels hurt at the penetration of her viginal first intercourse for the first penetration of man's penis through vigin's vagina.
but the pain becomes lesser as the penertration repeated, so do not worry about that please.
Well, i don't mind masturbating in front of him, but i usually do it while he is busy with other parts (of me). I wouldn't just sit there in front of him doing it while he watched, it seems too... dunno. i just wouldn't feel comfortable. And plus masturbating by myself doesn't turn me on anyways.
Start with a couple of fingers to relax the muscles in your vagina, then when you feel comfortable add a couple more this should open your vagina for you...
[QUOTE=yar123;155402]how much do i bleed having sex ? :( . ii want to soo bad. but im afraid i'll bleed too much[/QUOTE]
dont fear about bleeding. go head with full love
use finger first for 2-3 days then try will make less pain and yes don't forget to use condoms or lubricants
There is some really bad advice being given in this thread. At the beginning, facts and clear advice came out. Most of the rest of it is personal experience (limited), guess work (dangerous) and general nonsense. Read the first few pages and ignore the rest.
Many women find the first time to be no big deal, good or bad; most have a bit of a twinge and the pain is overt; some have a bit of bleeding, usually no more than a few drops. Anything beyond this really should be checked out by a doctor. Those few percentage points of women who experience worse run some risk of damage and a long term of sexual inability.
We recommend that all women have a gyn exam before their first time simply to assure that everything will work properly. Many do not get checked out and, if difficulty is experienced, need a checkup before continuing with sex.
I have read just about everyone's reply's and they have given a lot of good advice. The one thing I didn't see was anyone suggesting that you begin with a lot of ForePlay....You got to get into the Mood first, and trust me the Fears won't be as Bad...well that's my $.02 take it for what it's worth...
"That Awkward moment when someone you like talks to you and all you can do is smile like an idiot.
[COLOR="Green">I've been and still is a really active girl, never used tampons (after the story I heard from my nurse, but that's another story) sex hurt for me the 1st time. It was sort of a pressure type pain, but I think the reason why it hurt for me, was because my bf pound the hell out of me on my first time. He pound the shit out of my real tight pussy; don't get me wrong it felt good, but it still sort of hurt. I bled a little bit, but the second time we did it, I bleed some more. IMO, its not a great idea to have rough sex your first time, but KinkyKitty I don't know if your bf did it rough and that's why it gave you so much pain. Try lube or tell him to be gentle. Hoped I helped. ^_^[/COLOR]
[COLOR="Green">P.S. I agree with Kelly, lots lots lots of foreplay, before sex.[/COLOR]
*this has probably been asked/answered*
I am perfectly fine with the fact that it will hurt the first time I have sex, however what I am concerned about is the bleeding. I know it's different for everyone but is there some sort of average of the amount of bleeding? and is it actually blood or slightly diluted?
Diluted with what? Please read the section in the Index, found near the top of the main screen that discusses the topic of making love and first time intercourse.
The hymen can be found in different sizes and shapes, hole patterns, and, thicknesses. In addition, if a girl/woman is physically active and plays sports or rides horses, etc., her hymen will often erode away to some degree. So, you may find a bit of blood from the open wound--may not at all. There may be some pain--maybe not so much.
We recommend that before a girl/woman has intercourse for the first time that she make an appointment and visit your doctor to get checked out and to ask any questions that you have about your body, his, and, birth control--yours, his, ours.
How the two of you (read: guy) go about trying to accomplish penetration for the first time determines how comfortable it will be and how difficult it will be, if at all.
After reading the articles, please feel free to ask any questions.
> I know it's different for everyone but is there some sort of average of the amount of bleeding?
It is not unlike getting a cut on your hand or arm. Much depends upon the construction of the individual's hymen. If you got a teaspoonful, I'd be surprised--normally just a few drops as Brandye stated, above. (Did you read any of the above?) The best way to handle the bleeding, if any, is to place a towel or washcloth under your bottom. Let any dribbles go on it to be washed out later, than on the sheets.
The hymen is a thin tissue ring that is at the opening of your vagina. They usually have an open center to allow menstrual flow. This tissue (thin bit of skin, actually) is torn or torn away from the sides of the vaginal opening if it has not already worn away. This can cause bleeding - typically a few drops. A very few women have particularly tough hymens. That is one reason we recommend a gyn exam before sex. This tough hymen can cause greater pain and bleeding. Probably half of all women have no bleeding. Most of the rest, a few drops.
As doc recommends in prior post, READ the damned thread. Your question was answered on this page.
Every thing causes first time in life which is very painful for every body like that when u becoming mature there is period between 12-15yrs for every girlsfor which virgin get expand and it cause bleeding which is verypainful.There is no solution to stop pain in this type of cause. If u want more then
I don't have a boyfriend yet.Never had sex but i so want a guy to spend time with and show me how to release years of pent up tension inside.Never felt a guy coming into me.He needs to be very hot and experienced.I want him to know exactly how to make me feel totally his all night long.
ok i am kinda still a virgin i have had oral sex but not actual sex n me n my bf of 2 years r ready to go up a step but i dont no if once we do it if it will hurt or what lol . i have heard of "popping her cherry" something like that what excalty does it mean n is there any tips or tricks that will make it easier
> i have heard of "popping her cherry" something like that what excalty does it mean
The term is somewhat crass and means to or the act of "deflowering" a woman--that is tearing the hymen in preparation for first time intercourse.
> n is there any tips or tricks that will make it easier
Please click here and read this article, also posted in another of your threads.
Part Two of this discussion offers a tip for stretching the hymen and making it more pliable.
Please go to the Index and read all of the articles concerning contraception, and, tips for first time intercourse. Both of you should read the articles and then discuss what you have learned. There is an entire section devoted to the matter.
Most of the woman have pain, in first time sex. it's normal thing don't afraid be continue. enjoy your self.
Hmm, I guess most people don't know that you can go to your doctor and have your hymen surgically cut or removed, depending on what your doctor advises. My mother took me to have it done when I turned 18, just like her mother took her when she came of age. No pain or bleeding for me the first time (I was 23). Thanks to my mom, I had a positive first time experience with no anxiety at all. I don't understand why more mothers don't do this for their daughters. If I ever have a daughter, I would certainly do it for her. I want her to be happy, not needlessly suffering.
This approach is all well and good, although, depending upon the girl's level of maturity and inhibitions, might be difficult for her to embrace.
Please know, also, that in western cultures where women are much more physically active, a girl's hymen can erode away by the time she is in her mid to late teens and she has been active in sports. This bears checking out before calling and making an appointment with the family doctor. Regardless, it is strongly advised that a girl have a chat with her doctor prior to becoming sexually active. If she has any problems or concerns or wants information regarding contraceptives--whatever, this is a good time to get information.
I lost my virginity age 23 too. No pain, no bleeding. And I didn't had it cut or removed prior. In fact; I've never worried about my hymen.
I think we should change the general opinion on a hymen from "a big deal" to "unnoticeable". Since it's only noticeable in very few women and even fewer have problems with it the first time. It's what we're taught in sex ed. And I don't know any girls here in Holland that are afraid of tearing hymens. Only those that are taught at home from a religious perspective and actually are afraid they won't bleed!
We should also change general opinion from a first time for girls being "painful" to "pleasurable". If you do it right, it doesn't hurt! All the anxiety prior and during will only make you tense. The pain becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Whereas there's nothing to fear. Think of it like tasting something for the first time. It's a bit strange, all your sensors become actively aware, your pupils enlarge and... well that's for you to feel :) In my case: every vibe in my body concluded: this is damn good!!!:D
[QUOTE=dancingdoc2;268471]This approach is all well and good, although, depending upon the girl's level of maturity and inhibitions, might be difficult for her to embrace.
Please know, also, that in western cultures where women are much more physically active, a girl's hymen can erode away by the time she is in her mid to late teens and she has been active in sports. This bears checking out before calling and making an appointment with the family doctor. Regardless, it is strongly advised that a girl have a chat with her doctor prior to becoming sexually active. If she has any problems or concerns or wants information regarding contraceptives--whatever, this is a good time to get information.[/QUOTE]
Well, I guess it helps to have a great mom that you can really talk to. I was really lucky in that way.
I didn't know about the effect on a girl's hymen due to activity in sports. Thank you for the info. I was never really active in any sport. I was more the bookworm.
Absolutely, a girl should get all the information she needs as well as discussing her concerns with her doctor beforehand. I did this, too, when I went for the first visit and the doctor was very blunt and honest with me about contraceptives, STD's, etc. I think girls, more so than boys, really got think it all through and be prepared and more knowledgeable.
[QUOTE=RedRoses;268476]I lost my virginity age 23 too. No pain, no bleeding. And I didn't had it cut or removed prior. In fact; I've never worried about my hymen.
We should also change general opinion from a first time for girls being "painful" to "pleasurable". If you do it right, it doesn't hurt! All the anxiety prior and during will only make you tense. The pain becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Whereas there's nothing to fear. Think of it like tasting something for the first time. It's a bit strange, all your sensors become actively aware, your pupils enlarge and... well that's for you to feel :) In my case: every vibe in my body concluded: this is damn good!!!:D[/QUOTE]
Not necessarily so. Some girls are born with really big and thick hymens, like my grandmama. Her first time (which was her wedding night), she wouldn't stop bleeding and had to go to the hospital. I think going to a good doctor before you get married or sexually active is the best course of action for every girl. Of course, that's just for starters. I'm no expert on anything or very experienced, but I am willing to study and learn - which is why I am so grateful this website exists. Thank you!
I'm not saying that it's impossible to have trouble. There will always be exceptions. There are few girls that do have tough hymens. And in some western countries it is indeed recommended to have an exam prior to any sexual activity to make sure you're safe to go. Sorry for your grandma; she definitely could have used such an exam prior. It must have been such a shock to her! :(
But I don't think it's right to scare girls over a thin rim of membrane. In most girls the hymen is barely or not visible and it can't even be felt. Even a physician or gynecologist can not determine if you're a virgin. And that includes the girls that never used tampons nor did sports. It's actually criminal that there are doctors in some parts of the worlds that do pretend to examine girls to "prove" their virginity prior to marriage. It's simply impossible to determine, just as it is with boys.
I wouldn't recommend doggystyle for a first time. Not facing eachother, it's hard to communicate like that or read the other's facial expression. It's a position that allows deep penetration easily. As a woman you have little control. And things tend to be more "tight" (as you put your butt up there's quite a chance you tense your pelvic floor automatically). Now that's very nice when you're somewhat experienced with penetration -we actually did it the fourth time very slowly and it was great!- but not much for a first.
However; I did know a girl who actually felt like she could let go of all inhibitions and surrender to the moment when facing away. She didn't raise her butt for reasons mentioned, she lay flat on her stomach and he went really slow and it was amazing to her. This could be a very relaxing position.
I think you should go with that primal feeling deep inside. I chose cowgirl, whereas in Holland missionary is recommended. I only found out later that on forums such as these cowgirl is actually recommended for all the benefits I've felt :) FYI: http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new-sex/26138-what-can-i-we-do-prepare-f...
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