Me and my gf last weekend were fooling around, i started off fingering her and was doing so for about 15 minutes, not something i find a chore though, anyway so after the 15 minutes she lies on her back and i get in position. so when i penetrated her it was fine, i put roughly an inch in only and took it back slightly but then when i pushed it in further she got hurt. she is abput 5.5 foot tall and im 6 foot and was wondering if there is a possibility that we CANT have sex because of her being too tight. i have just over a 7 inch penis with what she says is a 'wide' girth but i only think its average being roughly an inch wide or so. i think i just rushed in there and didnt take time for her too get stretched, thing is during fingering she said she wanted it now and i said i want 2 get her as wide as possible, to which she replied i think this is as wide as ill get. also i wasnt using a condom, so lubrication wasnt really there and i wudnt say she was all that wet. so please give me some advice to avoid hurting her. thanks
Me and my gf last weekend were fooling around, i started off fingering her and was doing so for about 15 minutes, not something i find a chore though, anyway so after the 15 minutes she lies on her back and i get in position. so when i penetrated her it was fine, i put roughly an inch in only and took it back slightly but then when i pushed it in further she got hurt. she is abput 5.5 foot tall and im 6 foot and was wondering if there is a possibility that we CANT have sex because of her being too tight. i have just over a 7 inch penis with what she says is a 'wide' girth but i only think its average being roughly an inch wide or so. i think i just rushed in there and didnt take time for her too get stretched, thing is during fingering she said she wanted it now and i said i want 2 get her as wide as possible, to which she replied i think this is as wide as ill get. also i wasnt using a condom, so lubrication wasnt really there and i wudnt say she was all that wet. so please give me some advice to avoid hurting her. thanks[/quote]
First no condom? Why? Second if she is not all that wet you both need to add some lube.
A persons height has NOTHING to do with their ability to accommodate a penis.
Perhaps you rushed a bit, you could have just left it where it was and stimulated her clitoris. Probably she tensed up and tightened her muscles. And yes, her vaginal opening does stretch out more then the size of a penis--remember someday children get through the same opening!
Summarized: Some myths are dispelled for you both and hopefully using birth control is something you both do, add some lube (KY), and take your time.
[quote=pjm1990;178587]thanks, also regarding no condom, we had none at hand and wasnt planning on ejaculating nside her anyway[/quote]
Not good enough. Withdrawal methods of birth control have a very high rate of failure. Furthermore, you ooze precum without even knowing it, this fluid semen contains sperm...
sex for me hurt really bad the first and second time...then i started usin lube and i use it every time i have sex, and i'm never in pain. seriously lube is awesome!
[QUOTE=sera300;178588]Not good enough. Withdrawal methods of birth control have a very high rate of failure. Furthermore, you ooze precum without even knowing it, this fluid semen contains sperm...
Condom & spermicide.[/QUOTE]
Very true. I actually met a virgin girl in a college class that was there to show her son to us. All the male did was rub his penis again her lips a few times. Never going inside of her. :eek:
Me and my gf last weekend were fooling around, i started off fingering her and was doing so for about 15 minutes, not something i find a chore though, anyway so after the 15 minutes she lies on her back and i get in position. so when i penetrated her it was fine, i put roughly an inch in only and took it back slightly but then when i pushed it in further she got hurt. she is abput 5.5 foot tall and im 6 foot and was wondering if there is a possibility that we CANT have sex because of her being too tight. i have just over a 7 inch penis with what she says is a 'wide' girth but i only think its average being roughly an inch wide or so. i think i just rushed in there and didnt take time for her too get stretched, thing is during fingering she said she wanted it now and i said i want 2 get her as wide as possible, to which she replied i think this is as wide as ill get. also i wasnt using a condom, so lubrication wasnt really there and i wudnt say she was all that wet. so please give me some advice to avoid hurting her. thanks[/QUOTE]
Height never has anything to do with it. Im 5'2 and my husband is 6'2.
my first time felt like i was being snapped in half but after that it has been easy i think it's probably just one of thoughs things where you have to go through the pain the first time to get the pleasure someother time, once you've done it properly once the worst parts over and you can just enjoy it
I will say my first time it hurt pretty bad, I won't lie and i've used tampons my whole life, I have a heavy cycle so they weren't small ...but I will tell you this..after the first few minutes the pain decreases extremely..doesn't dissapear actually the first couple of times I did I had discomfort but about the middle of the 3rd to the 4th time you start to feel small waves of ecstasy ...you'll enjoy it..give it a bit of time..if it hurts that bad make sure he's extremely gentle my guy was understanding..and if he won't be gentle tell him they your not doing it till he agrees to and if he continues on the rough path maybe you should consider someone who better understands you sexually.
[QUOTE=KinkyKitty;92614]I've tried having sex before, but we stopped because it hurt, now we are looking to try again. We're both virgins and the only thing that is keeping us this way is because I so afraid it will hurt. Does anyone know anything to make it less painful?[/QUOTE]
There is going to be some pain and bleeding. there is no way around that. To make is less painful you should try relaxing your muscles before you have sex, cause if you tense up it will hurt. Have him give you a massage before sex. Or try water based lub. to make it eaiser before entry or tell him to go really slow.
There is no clear cut "it's supposed to be this"
As you've read through this thread... you would have seen that some girls have NO pain/bleeding (due to sports, fingering, tampons..etc) and others the pain is so bad that they have to attempt it 2 or 3 times.
There is nothing wrong w/ you in either scenerio... just the card you were dealt.
I'm starting to get worried. I had sex for the first time two nights ago. I had torn my hymen with a toy two weeks prior. I didn't bleed at all after the first time I had sex the other night. However, after the third time the other night, I began to bleed. I'm still bleeding......not a ton, but some. I put in a tampon last night to see if the blood is coming from inside or from my hymen. I found this morning that the blood is coming from inside. How serious is this and what could it be? Trauma? Is this an emergency and if so, how much of one????!!!! Thanks
[QUOTE=20CC;186765]I'm starting to get worried. I had sex for the first time two nights ago. I had torn my hymen with a toy two weeks prior. I didn't bleed at all after the first time I had sex the other night. However, after the third time the other night, I began to bleed. I'm still bleeding......not a ton, but some. I put in a tampon last night to see if the blood is coming from inside or from my hymen. I found this morning that the blood is coming from inside. How serious is this and what could it be? Trauma? Is this an emergency and if so, how much of one????!!!! Thanks[/QUOTE]
Is it close to being time for your period??
Sometime all that proking and proding can induce your period.
I now have a mental block about sex, I've had sex once with one guy with absolutely no pain (he was pretty small :\) but my new guy has a very wide girth. We've only had sex twice and the pain is just...immense.
Now every time I get close to having sex I tense up and I know its going to make it worse.
I've been thinking recently, and they always tell you to put a tampon in as far as it will go, yes? Tampons go in fine not a problem, but they just aren't very long, and you push them in until you feel it hurt at the top. But then I thought, well, most boys penis' are longer than the tampon and part of the string, so how are you supposed to get most of the boys penis in there when it hurts to put a tampon in anymore than it is designed to be?
Should I just stick it out until it stops hurting anymore? Tell me it'll stop hurting, because right now I'm failing to see sex as enjoyable. Which is a terrible thing. I love dry sex, which makes me think I will love sex, its just the pain at the moment which isn't helping.
lots of foreplay so you are nice and wet. I didn't have any pain my first time, but we messed aorund for about an hour before he was inside....lube is your friend!
[QUOTE=goldrush1251;186958]I now have a mental block about sex, I've had sex once with one guy with absolutely no pain (he was pretty small :\) but my new guy has a very wide girth. We've only had sex twice and the pain is just...immense.
Now every time I get close to having sex I tense up and I know its going to make it worse.
I've been thinking recently, and they always tell you to put a tampon in as far as it will go, yes? Tampons go in fine not a problem, but they just aren't very long, and you push them in until you feel it hurt at the top. But then I thought, well, most boys penis' are longer than the tampon and part of the string, so how are you supposed to get most of the boys penis in there when it hurts to put a tampon in anymore than it is designed to be?
Should I just stick it out until it stops hurting anymore? Tell me it'll stop hurting, because right now I'm failing to see sex as enjoyable. Which is a terrible thing. I love dry sex, which makes me think I will love sex, its just the pain at the moment which isn't helping.[/QUOTE]
You also have to remember that during foreplay before sex you body is preparing itself for sex, this is not the case with tampons. A lot of foreplay will really help you out, but some will taking it slow and getting your body used to it. Sex toys are a good idea.
i keep reading that its normal to bleed if you break your hymen. however i had sex regularly for the first time all last summer, and i cant remember if i bled or not. and i didnt have sex again until about 10 months later, which is now. and i had it 3 times within about 2 weeks and then this morning i had it again and i bled a little afterwards when i went to the bathroom. is that normal?
For the past several years I thought I had broken my Hymen with a tampon when I was younger (I started very early and probably used a tampon that was too big... ouchie!). Then the other night my bf and I were messing around and he was fingering me like he had several times before, and I bled like crazy!! It scared him like crazy and I was a little freaked out myself. It finally quit bleeding like an hour or two later. I thought this was a little long for just a hymen~
Whats really weird to me is that I've been stretching/masturbating and he's fingered me before without any pain or bleeding...
so yeah... any ideas?
btw... my abdomen is a bit sore from all this...not bad... less than cramps... but still...
[quote=VirginInLove;189340]Ok so here's my situation.
For the past several years I thought I had broken my Hymen with a tampon when I was younger (I started very early and probably used a tampon that was too big... ouchie!). Then the other night my bf and I were messing around and he was fingering me like he had several times before, and I bled like crazy!! It scared him like crazy and I was a little freaked out myself. It finally quit bleeding like an hour or two later. I thought this was a little long for just a hymen~
Whats really weird to me is that I've been stretching/masturbating and he's fingered me before without any pain or bleeding...
so yeah... any ideas?
btw... my abdomen is a bit sore from all this...not bad... less than cramps... but still...[/quote]
Perhaps it's the onset of your period or close? Next time maybe have him be a bit easier?
If you are a virgin you will not bleed much at all. A few spots wherever you are doing it and a little in your underwear but nothing that will be noticable.
Hi im an 19 yr old guy and ive never had this issue with any girl before. Ive been seeing this girl for well 9 months now. The problem is that weve been trying to have sex for a long time now (Roughly 5 months) but we cant because on entry she always gets alot of pain. Shes a virgin or well if it still counts and we have been trying desperately to figure this out. Any advice is appreciated.
Hi im an 19 yr old guy and ive never had this issue with any girl before. Ive been seeing this girl for well 9 months now. The problem is that weve been trying to have sex for a long time now (Roughly 5 months) but we cant because on entry she always gets alot of pain. Shes a virgin or well if it still counts and we have been trying desperately to figure this out. Any advice is appreciated.[/quote]
Has she considered seeing her Gyn doctor and discussing it with him/her????
[QUOTE=sera300;191869]Has she considered seeing her Gyn doctor and discussing it with him/her????[/QUOTE]
Yeah shes said that she would a few times now but I think she feels awkward discussing it with another person even a doctor who speciallizes in that area. Just from knowing my girlfriend she has assumed that I would find an answer.
[quote=crazyhorse_9000;191871]Yeah shes said that she would a few times now but I think she feels awkward discussing it with another person even a doctor who speciallizes in that area. Just from knowing my girlfriend she has assumed that I would find an answer.[/quote]
I would stop looking for her answers and suggest she see the doctor unless she is using this as an excuse to avoid having intercourse. If she is too immature to discuss with a female doc, she honestly may not be ready...
I have responded at your other post. Please read that and show her some of what you will find on the internet. This is a real condition, with a real name and should be addressed. She MUST discuss it with the doctor; this does not cure itself.
Hi there, this is something that has been bugging me for a while. I am not a virgin, by any stretch of the imagination, but last time I found myself in "that" situation, the guy in question couldn't penetrate. Now, at that point, I had not had sex for a while (just over a year), and he got a little over keen on himself, without turning me on properly. Upon reflection, I should have stopped the situation, but sometimes we dont, do we?
Am I right in thinking that the problems with penetration (he was rather large...) are down to me not being properly relaxed, and lack of lubrication/arousal, or should I be worrying about something else like involuntary contraction of the vagina muscles.... I am trying not to get myself worked up about this, and not worry about when I meet someone else. There was a little blood, only a trace, when he tried to enter me, should I be worried about that?
Sorry about this, but its been bugging me for a while, and thanks in advance for any advice, or for pointing me in the right direction!
I'm afraid that I don't know the biology of it but what I've noticed is that if you don't have sex for a while then your vagina starts to revert to it's original shape and form (for lack of a better phrase) I'm in a long distance relationship with my partner and so we have long periods were we can't have sex. When we do get to see each other it does hurt for the first few times just like it did when we first started to have sex. I think that it's simply the fact that your body has to get used to sex again and not that anything is wrong.
I only lost my virginity back in December and I understand how your feeling. I'm sure plenty of other people do too. Before we actully Tried to have sex, he fingered me, it helps to loosen it up. Make sure that you wear a condom too, always practice SAFE SEX. My boyfriend wasn't a virgin when we finally decided to have sex, he was a little more experianced then me in that field. But he knew that I was and took his time. It hurt like hell for the first few minits but after a little minit it felt great. The next probaly, 7 or 8 times it still hurt a little, but now it takes no times at all to get started and I don't have to tell him, 'wait baby it still hurts kinda.' Once the two of you decided to go through with it, just be gracious of each others needs.
I don't know if anyone can help me or has any ideas on this...
Since I've lost my viginity I've attempted to have sex four or so times, but have always had to stop because it hurt too much. I thought pain was just meant to be a first time thing but now I'm not so sure it is with me. I've never bled during sex but I have been fingered and if it's gentle, it isn't painful and feels great (although sometimes it has hurt).
I'm in a long distance relationship and I've heard that the vagina can sort of return to its original size if you don't have sex for a while. I also know that some people have thicker hymens than others and I think this might be the case for me.
This is getting me down because I really want to finish having sex without it hurting! Any advice is great appreciated
My boyfriend and I attempted again last night to have sex, I felt him enter but oh my god..it hurt way too much to the point that I was near to tears...he didn't get far in at all, I belive he just barely made it in before he stoppped for me. My problem is..I'm on BC and he didn't have a condom...quite frankly preganancy scares me at this age...my family would kill US as well as his...
Basically I'm on seasonale...I don't get aperiod but like 4 times a year...can I go ahead and stop the pill at least long enough to have a period just so I can reassure myself?
[quote=tkm_lexis;211964]My boyfriend and I attempted again last night to have sex, I felt him enter but oh my god..it hurt way too much to the point that I was near to tears...he didn't get far in at all, I belive he just barely made it in before he stoppped for me. My problem is..I'm on BC and he didn't have a condom...quite frankly preganancy scares me at this age...my family would kill US as well as his...
Basically I'm on seasonale...I don't get aperiod but like 4 times a year...can I go ahead and stop the pill at least long enough to have a period just so I can reassure myself?[/quote]As I said speak to your doctor.
lost mine in saturday. didn't hurt much. then again i was drunk... but still. we were at it probably 30-40 minutes. felt better at the end! i'm just pleased it didn't hurt much.
My first time hurt too, so I know where you're coming from. However, you and I are different in the sense that I am a masochist, so my first time was definitely easy for me. My advice: learn to get off on the pain. It helps a lot.
: )
Is it weird that my first time did not hurt at all? There was also no bleeding. It's apparently not common, but has anyone else also had that experience?
Not weird at all. In these days of women's sports and tampon use, many of us have no problem. My first was a big nothing. I was worried that it would hurt and so focused on the mechanics that it was neither painful, bloody nor a sexual turn on.
We women run the gamut from the first time being a non-event to not being able to accept the penis into us. I would guess that most feel a brief twinge or sharp pain. The reasons some experience difficulty are a tough hymen, still intact, to those two percent or so who suffer vaginismus. It is recommended that all women have a gyn exam before starting sex to make certain that all is as it should be. This reduces the chance of surprise difficulty.
I lost my virginity at 21 and i had the same problem as you. I was scared shytless lol, i was worried it would hurt. My b/f at the time.. took one of my legs and held it down while he held the other up. i was very lubricated and when it went in it didnt hurt at all. If you tense up its going to hurt going in.. so just try to relax have him go down on you to drive you crazy and then go for it again.
[QUOTE=DLink;92606]its not that tight. cause we have done it more then 5 times...i was just wondering if its possible that the whole 'popping the cherry' thing could be broken by stretching or something. i just want to know why it didnt hurt the first time, like everyone says it does. and i know i was the first guy to go down on her, i have losened her up to 3 fingers..but i'll try the KY stuff. but does anyone know why it didnt?[/QUOTE]
well most females arnt open to admitting they masturbate but that could have somthing to do with it and yes stretching could "pop the cherry" b/c all that means it breaking the hyman. also as far as the lube thing goes i suggest you try wet brand platnum it is the best lube i have found out there and longest lasting and i have been threw quite a few brands including ky,astroglide,and many more and also if she has masturbated prior to having sex then that could also play a part in why it didnt hurt the first time
so i have this problem 2 and has any girls gone 2 the doctor and find out why this is going on what has been your doctors advice ?? i need help with this problem of bleeding
My first time was SO painful. But I was 17 and I'm only 5'2" and petite...so I am pretty small and tight :cool:
I had one of my legs up and my current bf was much more experienced than I. Once he was all the way in it stopped hurting so much. It felt better once we got going... just the initial being tense and nervous blocks out everything else, IMHO.
Hi
Me and my gf last weekend were fooling around, i started off fingering her and was doing so for about 15 minutes, not something i find a chore though, anyway so after the 15 minutes she lies on her back and i get in position. so when i penetrated her it was fine, i put roughly an inch in only and took it back slightly but then when i pushed it in further she got hurt. she is abput 5.5 foot tall and im 6 foot and was wondering if there is a possibility that we CANT have sex because of her being too tight. i have just over a 7 inch penis with what she says is a 'wide' girth but i only think its average being roughly an inch wide or so. i think i just rushed in there and didnt take time for her too get stretched, thing is during fingering she said she wanted it now and i said i want 2 get her as wide as possible, to which she replied i think this is as wide as ill get. also i wasnt using a condom, so lubrication wasnt really there and i wudnt say she was all that wet. so please give me some advice to avoid hurting her. thanks
[quote=pjm1990;178585]Hi
Me and my gf last weekend were fooling around, i started off fingering her and was doing so for about 15 minutes, not something i find a chore though, anyway so after the 15 minutes she lies on her back and i get in position. so when i penetrated her it was fine, i put roughly an inch in only and took it back slightly but then when i pushed it in further she got hurt. she is abput 5.5 foot tall and im 6 foot and was wondering if there is a possibility that we CANT have sex because of her being too tight. i have just over a 7 inch penis with what she says is a 'wide' girth but i only think its average being roughly an inch wide or so. i think i just rushed in there and didnt take time for her too get stretched, thing is during fingering she said she wanted it now and i said i want 2 get her as wide as possible, to which she replied i think this is as wide as ill get. also i wasnt using a condom, so lubrication wasnt really there and i wudnt say she was all that wet. so please give me some advice to avoid hurting her. thanks[/quote]
First no condom? Why? Second if she is not all that wet you both need to add some lube.
A persons height has NOTHING to do with their ability to accommodate a penis.
Perhaps you rushed a bit, you could have just left it where it was and stimulated her clitoris. Probably she tensed up and tightened her muscles. And yes, her vaginal opening does stretch out more then the size of a penis--remember someday children get through the same opening!
Summarized: Some myths are dispelled for you both and hopefully using birth control is something you both do, add some lube (KY), and take your time.
thanks, also regarding no condom, we had none at hand and wasnt planning on ejaculating nside her anyway
[quote=pjm1990;178587]thanks, also regarding no condom, we had none at hand and wasnt planning on ejaculating nside her anyway[/quote]
Not good enough. Withdrawal methods of birth control have a very high rate of failure. Furthermore, you ooze precum without even knowing it, this fluid semen contains sperm...
Condom & spermicide.
sex for me hurt really bad the first and second time...then i started usin lube and i use it every time i have sex, and i'm never in pain. seriously lube is awesome!
[QUOTE=sera300;178588]Not good enough. Withdrawal methods of birth control have a very high rate of failure. Furthermore, you ooze precum without even knowing it, this fluid semen contains sperm...
Condom & spermicide.[/QUOTE]
Very true. I actually met a virgin girl in a college class that was there to show her son to us. All the male did was rub his penis again her lips a few times. Never going inside of her. :eek:
Becareful out there always use a condom.
[QUOTE=pjm1990;178585]Hi
Me and my gf last weekend were fooling around, i started off fingering her and was doing so for about 15 minutes, not something i find a chore though, anyway so after the 15 minutes she lies on her back and i get in position. so when i penetrated her it was fine, i put roughly an inch in only and took it back slightly but then when i pushed it in further she got hurt. she is abput 5.5 foot tall and im 6 foot and was wondering if there is a possibility that we CANT have sex because of her being too tight. i have just over a 7 inch penis with what she says is a 'wide' girth but i only think its average being roughly an inch wide or so. i think i just rushed in there and didnt take time for her too get stretched, thing is during fingering she said she wanted it now and i said i want 2 get her as wide as possible, to which she replied i think this is as wide as ill get. also i wasnt using a condom, so lubrication wasnt really there and i wudnt say she was all that wet. so please give me some advice to avoid hurting her. thanks[/QUOTE]
Height never has anything to do with it. Im 5'2 and my husband is 6'2.
my first time felt like i was being snapped in half but after that it has been easy i think it's probably just one of thoughs things where you have to go through the pain the first time to get the pleasure someother time, once you've done it properly once the worst parts over and you can just enjoy it
I will say my first time it hurt pretty bad, I won't lie and i've used tampons my whole life, I have a heavy cycle so they weren't small ...but I will tell you this..after the first few minutes the pain decreases extremely..doesn't dissapear actually the first couple of times I did I had discomfort but about the middle of the 3rd to the 4th time you start to feel small waves of ecstasy ...you'll enjoy it..give it a bit of time..if it hurts that bad make sure he's extremely gentle my guy was understanding..and if he won't be gentle tell him they your not doing it till he agrees to and if he continues on the rough path maybe you should consider someone who better understands you sexually.
hope that helped.
[QUOTE=KinkyKitty;92614]I've tried having sex before, but we stopped because it hurt, now we are looking to try again. We're both virgins and the only thing that is keeping us this way is because I so afraid it will hurt. Does anyone know anything to make it less painful?[/QUOTE]
There is going to be some pain and bleeding. there is no way around that. To make is less painful you should try relaxing your muscles before you have sex, cause if you tense up it will hurt. Have him give you a massage before sex. Or try water based lub. to make it eaiser before entry or tell him to go really slow.
What about those females that cannot use tampons because the pain of inserting it is unbearable?
i had sex for the first time and i expected it to hurt but it didnt. isnt it suppose to hurt your first time?
There is no clear cut "it's supposed to be this"
As you've read through this thread... you would have seen that some girls have NO pain/bleeding (due to sports, fingering, tampons..etc) and others the pain is so bad that they have to attempt it 2 or 3 times.
There is nothing wrong w/ you in either scenerio... just the card you were dealt.
I'm starting to get worried. I had sex for the first time two nights ago. I had torn my hymen with a toy two weeks prior. I didn't bleed at all after the first time I had sex the other night. However, after the third time the other night, I began to bleed. I'm still bleeding......not a ton, but some. I put in a tampon last night to see if the blood is coming from inside or from my hymen. I found this morning that the blood is coming from inside. How serious is this and what could it be? Trauma? Is this an emergency and if so, how much of one????!!!! Thanks
[QUOTE=20CC;186765]I'm starting to get worried. I had sex for the first time two nights ago. I had torn my hymen with a toy two weeks prior. I didn't bleed at all after the first time I had sex the other night. However, after the third time the other night, I began to bleed. I'm still bleeding......not a ton, but some. I put in a tampon last night to see if the blood is coming from inside or from my hymen. I found this morning that the blood is coming from inside. How serious is this and what could it be? Trauma? Is this an emergency and if so, how much of one????!!!! Thanks[/QUOTE]
Is it close to being time for your period??
Sometime all that proking and proding can induce your period.
[quote=demonbuttercup;186941]Is it close to being time for your period??
Sometime all that proking and proding can induce your period.[/quote]
Demon is right. Sounds as if your period has begun.
I now have a mental block about sex, I've had sex once with one guy with absolutely no pain (he was pretty small :\) but my new guy has a very wide girth. We've only had sex twice and the pain is just...immense.
Now every time I get close to having sex I tense up and I know its going to make it worse.
I've been thinking recently, and they always tell you to put a tampon in as far as it will go, yes? Tampons go in fine not a problem, but they just aren't very long, and you push them in until you feel it hurt at the top. But then I thought, well, most boys penis' are longer than the tampon and part of the string, so how are you supposed to get most of the boys penis in there when it hurts to put a tampon in anymore than it is designed to be?
Should I just stick it out until it stops hurting anymore? Tell me it'll stop hurting, because right now I'm failing to see sex as enjoyable. Which is a terrible thing. I love dry sex, which makes me think I will love sex, its just the pain at the moment which isn't helping.
Try using a tapered sex toy until you are comfortable. Other's here have mentioned tapered candles. Just a thought.
lots of foreplay so you are nice and wet. I didn't have any pain my first time, but we messed aorund for about an hour before he was inside....lube is your friend!
[QUOTE=goldrush1251;186958]I now have a mental block about sex, I've had sex once with one guy with absolutely no pain (he was pretty small :\) but my new guy has a very wide girth. We've only had sex twice and the pain is just...immense.
Now every time I get close to having sex I tense up and I know its going to make it worse.
I've been thinking recently, and they always tell you to put a tampon in as far as it will go, yes? Tampons go in fine not a problem, but they just aren't very long, and you push them in until you feel it hurt at the top. But then I thought, well, most boys penis' are longer than the tampon and part of the string, so how are you supposed to get most of the boys penis in there when it hurts to put a tampon in anymore than it is designed to be?
Should I just stick it out until it stops hurting anymore? Tell me it'll stop hurting, because right now I'm failing to see sex as enjoyable. Which is a terrible thing. I love dry sex, which makes me think I will love sex, its just the pain at the moment which isn't helping.[/QUOTE]
You also have to remember that during foreplay before sex you body is preparing itself for sex, this is not the case with tampons. A lot of foreplay will really help you out, but some will taking it slow and getting your body used to it. Sex toys are a good idea.
I sometimes still bleed while having sex. i find lots of lube and experement with different angles during penetration help
-Laura :)
i keep reading that its normal to bleed if you break your hymen. however i had sex regularly for the first time all last summer, and i cant remember if i bled or not. and i didnt have sex again until about 10 months later, which is now. and i had it 3 times within about 2 weeks and then this morning i had it again and i bled a little afterwards when i went to the bathroom. is that normal?
Ok so here's my situation.
For the past several years I thought I had broken my Hymen with a tampon when I was younger (I started very early and probably used a tampon that was too big... ouchie!). Then the other night my bf and I were messing around and he was fingering me like he had several times before, and I bled like crazy!! It scared him like crazy and I was a little freaked out myself. It finally quit bleeding like an hour or two later. I thought this was a little long for just a hymen~
Whats really weird to me is that I've been stretching/masturbating and he's fingered me before without any pain or bleeding...
so yeah... any ideas?
btw... my abdomen is a bit sore from all this...not bad... less than cramps... but still...
[quote=VirginInLove;189340]Ok so here's my situation.
For the past several years I thought I had broken my Hymen with a tampon when I was younger (I started very early and probably used a tampon that was too big... ouchie!). Then the other night my bf and I were messing around and he was fingering me like he had several times before, and I bled like crazy!! It scared him like crazy and I was a little freaked out myself. It finally quit bleeding like an hour or two later. I thought this was a little long for just a hymen~
Whats really weird to me is that I've been stretching/masturbating and he's fingered me before without any pain or bleeding...
so yeah... any ideas?
btw... my abdomen is a bit sore from all this...not bad... less than cramps... but still...[/quote]
Perhaps it's the onset of your period or close? Next time maybe have him be a bit easier?
If you are a virgin you will not bleed much at all. A few spots wherever you are doing it and a little in your underwear but nothing that will be noticable.
very cooooool ,, hooooooot
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Hi im an 19 yr old guy and ive never had this issue with any girl before. Ive been seeing this girl for well 9 months now. The problem is that weve been trying to have sex for a long time now (Roughly 5 months) but we cant because on entry she always gets alot of pain. Shes a virgin or well if it still counts and we have been trying desperately to figure this out. Any advice is appreciated.
[quote=crazyhorse_9000;191868]--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi im an 19 yr old guy and ive never had this issue with any girl before. Ive been seeing this girl for well 9 months now. The problem is that weve been trying to have sex for a long time now (Roughly 5 months) but we cant because on entry she always gets alot of pain. Shes a virgin or well if it still counts and we have been trying desperately to figure this out. Any advice is appreciated.[/quote]
Has she considered seeing her Gyn doctor and discussing it with him/her????
[QUOTE=sera300;191869]Has she considered seeing her Gyn doctor and discussing it with him/her????[/QUOTE]
Yeah shes said that she would a few times now but I think she feels awkward discussing it with another person even a doctor who speciallizes in that area. Just from knowing my girlfriend she has assumed that I would find an answer.
[quote=crazyhorse_9000;191871]Yeah shes said that she would a few times now but I think she feels awkward discussing it with another person even a doctor who speciallizes in that area. Just from knowing my girlfriend she has assumed that I would find an answer.[/quote]
I would stop looking for her answers and suggest she see the doctor unless she is using this as an excuse to avoid having intercourse. If she is too immature to discuss with a female doc, she honestly may not be ready...
Crazyhorse,
I have responded at your other post. Please read that and show her some of what you will find on the internet. This is a real condition, with a real name and should be addressed. She MUST discuss it with the doctor; this does not cure itself.
Hi there, this is something that has been bugging me for a while. I am not a virgin, by any stretch of the imagination, but last time I found myself in "that" situation, the guy in question couldn't penetrate. Now, at that point, I had not had sex for a while (just over a year), and he got a little over keen on himself, without turning me on properly. Upon reflection, I should have stopped the situation, but sometimes we dont, do we?
Am I right in thinking that the problems with penetration (he was rather large...) are down to me not being properly relaxed, and lack of lubrication/arousal, or should I be worrying about something else like involuntary contraction of the vagina muscles.... I am trying not to get myself worked up about this, and not worry about when I meet someone else. There was a little blood, only a trace, when he tried to enter me, should I be worried about that?
Sorry about this, but its been bugging me for a while, and thanks in advance for any advice, or for pointing me in the right direction!
I'm afraid that I don't know the biology of it but what I've noticed is that if you don't have sex for a while then your vagina starts to revert to it's original shape and form (for lack of a better phrase) I'm in a long distance relationship with my partner and so we have long periods were we can't have sex. When we do get to see each other it does hurt for the first few times just like it did when we first started to have sex. I think that it's simply the fact that your body has to get used to sex again and not that anything is wrong.
I only lost my virginity back in December and I understand how your feeling. I'm sure plenty of other people do too. Before we actully Tried to have sex, he fingered me, it helps to loosen it up. Make sure that you wear a condom too, always practice SAFE SEX. My boyfriend wasn't a virgin when we finally decided to have sex, he was a little more experianced then me in that field. But he knew that I was and took his time. It hurt like hell for the first few minits but after a little minit it felt great. The next probaly, 7 or 8 times it still hurt a little, but now it takes no times at all to get started and I don't have to tell him, 'wait baby it still hurts kinda.' Once the two of you decided to go through with it, just be gracious of each others needs.
im 15 and k i have 6.5 inches, is that enough to satisfy a woman
i am 15 and i have 6.5 inches. is that enough 2 satify a woman?
[quote=ITALIAN95;200688]i am 15 and i have 6.5 inches. is that enough 2 satify a woman?[/quote]PLEASE search the site since there are many threads just like yours...look under the beginning forums...:)
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/index_sexinfo101_board_topics/22777---be...
I don't know if anyone can help me or has any ideas on this...
Since I've lost my viginity I've attempted to have sex four or so times, but have always had to stop because it hurt too much. I thought pain was just meant to be a first time thing but now I'm not so sure it is with me. I've never bled during sex but I have been fingered and if it's gentle, it isn't painful and feels great (although sometimes it has hurt).
I'm in a long distance relationship and I've heard that the vagina can sort of return to its original size if you don't have sex for a while. I also know that some people have thicker hymens than others and I think this might be the case for me.
This is getting me down because I really want to finish having sex without it hurting! Any advice is great appreciated
My first time will be soon, I'm going to do everything I can from getting Pregnant.
I'm ready and so is My boyfriend of 3 years.
I am a little nervous about pain but I have fingered myself a couple times and I never wear Tampons they scare me.
So I wouldn't worry too much
My boyfriend and I attempted again last night to have sex, I felt him enter but oh my god..it hurt way too much to the point that I was near to tears...he didn't get far in at all, I belive he just barely made it in before he stoppped for me. My problem is..I'm on BC and he didn't have a condom...quite frankly preganancy scares me at this age...my family would kill US as well as his...
Basically I'm on seasonale...I don't get aperiod but like 4 times a year...can I go ahead and stop the pill at least long enough to have a period just so I can reassure myself?
[quote=tkm_lexis;211964]My boyfriend and I attempted again last night to have sex, I felt him enter but oh my god..it hurt way too much to the point that I was near to tears...he didn't get far in at all, I belive he just barely made it in before he stoppped for me. My problem is..I'm on BC and he didn't have a condom...quite frankly preganancy scares me at this age...my family would kill US as well as his...
Basically I'm on seasonale...I don't get aperiod but like 4 times a year...can I go ahead and stop the pill at least long enough to have a period just so I can reassure myself?[/quote]As I said speak to your doctor.
lost mine in saturday. didn't hurt much. then again i was drunk... but still. we were at it probably 30-40 minutes. felt better at the end! i'm just pleased it didn't hurt much.
At which end?
My first time hurt too, so I know where you're coming from. However, you and I are different in the sense that I am a masochist, so my first time was definitely easy for me. My advice: learn to get off on the pain. It helps a lot.
: )
Is it weird that my first time did not hurt at all? There was also no bleeding. It's apparently not common, but has anyone else also had that experience?
Not weird at all. In these days of women's sports and tampon use, many of us have no problem. My first was a big nothing. I was worried that it would hurt and so focused on the mechanics that it was neither painful, bloody nor a sexual turn on.
We women run the gamut from the first time being a non-event to not being able to accept the penis into us. I would guess that most feel a brief twinge or sharp pain. The reasons some experience difficulty are a tough hymen, still intact, to those two percent or so who suffer vaginismus. It is recommended that all women have a gyn exam before starting sex to make certain that all is as it should be. This reduces the chance of surprise difficulty.
I lost my virginity at 21 and i had the same problem as you. I was scared shytless lol, i was worried it would hurt. My b/f at the time.. took one of my legs and held it down while he held the other up. i was very lubricated and when it went in it didnt hurt at all. If you tense up its going to hurt going in.. so just try to relax have him go down on you to drive you crazy and then go for it again.
[QUOTE=DLink;92606]its not that tight. cause we have done it more then 5 times...i was just wondering if its possible that the whole 'popping the cherry' thing could be broken by stretching or something. i just want to know why it didnt hurt the first time, like everyone says it does. and i know i was the first guy to go down on her, i have losened her up to 3 fingers..but i'll try the KY stuff. but does anyone know why it didnt?[/QUOTE]
well most females arnt open to admitting they masturbate but that could have somthing to do with it and yes stretching could "pop the cherry" b/c all that means it breaking the hyman. also as far as the lube thing goes i suggest you try wet brand platnum it is the best lube i have found out there and longest lasting and i have been threw quite a few brands including ky,astroglide,and many more and also if she has masturbated prior to having sex then that could also play a part in why it didnt hurt the first time
so i have this problem 2 and has any girls gone 2 the doctor and find out why this is going on what has been your doctors advice ?? i need help with this problem of bleeding
My first time was SO painful. But I was 17 and I'm only 5'2" and petite...so I am pretty small and tight :cool:
I had one of my legs up and my current bf was much more experienced than I. Once he was all the way in it stopped hurting so much. It felt better once we got going... just the initial being tense and nervous blocks out everything else, IMHO.
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