If it was your first time, there is probably no reason to go to a doctor. While not everyone bleeds their first time, it is not at all unusual. The only reasons you should worry are if it wasn't your first time or if you continued to bleed for a long time afterword.
if you are bleeding your first few times could it be that you may be a bit too tight still or he is a little big? it may take a few times to subside. to be safe see a doctor.
thankyou. it didnt hurt as much as i thought and imagined. we have done it since and it was great, no pain and im so happy i have dont it now. i didnt even bleed after, although there was little blood on the condom, is this normal?
i am going to be having sex soon for the first time, and of course i can't wait, im really excited, but i am worried about the pain, is it that bad, im really nervous about that. i haven't used tampons before, but i have been fingered, i would be very greatful for any female advice on this, becuase i am worried. but very ready lol
hm...it seams you cannot wait to have your first time.
I can only give you advice from my expirience,of course.
On my first time i didn´t bleed at all.I also didn´t use any tampons but i was in sport for a while so i heard that could be a reason.But my partner was VERY gentle with me(i have to tell you that i am very sensitive on pain) and it didn´t hurt so much.I cannot tell you it didn´t hurt at all,but it was acceptable!
Just relax yourself and ask him to be very gentle(don´t be affraid to ask him to stop if it hurts you too much and to try later!That is your body.You have ful control over it!)...and don´t expect too much of the first time.At least i didn´t have any orgasm on the first time but second time and all others later were great!
first off you have to relax, you are excited but you are worrying yourself too much.
You probably will bleed, but dont get scared it is normal. It does hurt but it wont hurt for the whole time, (well it didnt for me) He just has to take it easy, and dont go to fast because it will hurt even more.
Its not as bad as you think, It hurts but not as bad as people make it seem. So dont worry, just take it easy, and you'll be fine.
he will knw to take it slow.
it hurt me, but only a little, it wasnt as bad as ppl make it out to be.
i did bleed after wards, but only a little bit.
it only hurt when he first entered me.
being fingered can make a difference, although id been fingered b4, and his penis goes in further then his fingers and hits different parts, so dont expect no pain becoz uve been fingered.
dont worry too much, just relax and take it steady!
lube such as KJ Jelley well help greatly. After your first time it will feel so good to have him inside you. if you have been fingered frequently it most likley won't hurt as much. good luck!
Hi Guys,
I would like to thank you first for your help. My gf and I have dated now for over three months, we are both 20 years old, and we are both virgins. She has let me finger her for about 2 months now, but tonight something different happened. I tried a new technique, angling downward more, and started going pretty fast. She loved it and was screaming for more, so of course I gave her more. When we were all finished up, we laid down together for awhile, and when we turned on the lights to get dressed there was blood on the sheets. She went to the bathroom to examine and everything, and said that it felt like a cut. I have been reading other posts about the hymen breaking and am wondering if that is what it was, or if it is just possible that I cut her with my fingernail, or just stretched her out or something. I can not even fit two fingers inside of her, she is that tight. The fingering was never painful for her but at the end she said it felt a little sore. We talked about it afterwards and she said that it felt like it got pulled or something, and that there is a cut...but there was quite a bit of blood. I know that this is the first time she has bleed as a result of sexual activity, but I have fingered her extensively before. I just want to know what exactly happened, the consequences (if any) of it, how it can be fixed (if need be) and if it is normal. Any opinions, thoughts or answers you guys can provide will be greatly appreciated. Thanks a lot guys, I genuinely appreciate your responses.
It is pretty rare that anyone would bleed from being fingered. However, if the bleeding stopped and your girlfriend isn't in pain or experiencing anything unusual I wouldn't been overly worried. If she is concered for any reason, she should go to a doctor. And yes, it is possible her hymen broke if she is a virgin.
Hey can someone give me sum advice please.I've just entered a serious relationship with a guy i really love and who really loves me and we both want to make love.The thing is im a virgin and am totally scared of the pain.We've tried but because im so nervous and because of that tight,we cant get his dick in and the slightest hurts.How can i relax and make it able for him to get inside?
when I was with this guy the other week he began to finger me, for a split second it hurt but then he did it again, it wasn't pleasure, it just felt weird, I am a virgin or at least I think I still am.
I remember when I first had sex.... I was really wanting it and was ready... but yes it did hurt like hell! I'm just lucky that my boyfriend was gentle and when I told him to stop moving... he stopped...
All I can say is take it slowly, if it really hurts then ask him to stop, breathe deeply, relax and once you feel ready get him to put it in a little further...
also from personal experience, the first couple of times were painful but all you need to remember to do is relax. once you've started to relax he'll go in easily and it will be pain free goodluck
Yeah as the other guy said you could try for him to finger you first and ... do you get really nervous and tense???Cuz if you do then your vagina could tighten a lot when he has sex with you. On the first couple of times it does hurt for a lot of people so keep experimenting and stuff like that... also try maybe lube... put extra lubrication of and it could help with it not hurting cuz you or he may not be wet enogh if you guys don't wear condom and if you do use a condom still use soem lube... like ky jelly or something like that... cuz a condom sometimes doesn't give you enough moisture.
Okay, my girlfriend does masturbate, but 95% of the time it is clit only, she puts a finger in there occasionally. We are both virgins and she said she has never noticed that she bled from any masturbation or anything. She said unless she popped it with a tampon and didnt notice it that it is still there? What do you think? Even if it is gone, will it still hurt her? And if it gone she wont bleed will she? Thanks to everyone that helps!
[QUOTE=Quote (Sephiroth @ Aug. 12 2003,10:15)]Okay, my girlfriend does masturbate, but 95% of the time it is clit only, she puts a finger in there occasionally. We are both virgins and she said she has never noticed that she bled from any masturbation or anything. She said unless she popped it with a tampon and didnt notice it that it is still there? What do you think? Even if it is gone, will it still hurt her? And if it gone she wont bleed will she? Thanks to everyone that helps![/QUOTE]
It may hurt, and it may not. I could comfortably fit several fingers into my vagina before I had sex, but my first time was still very painful for me. If she only puts in one finger at a time, there is a good chance that not enough of her hymen has been worn away to make her first time painless.
[QUOTE=Quote (WildF17 @ June 08 2003,19:44)]Thanks a lot for the responses, they were helpful. Have a good Sunday.[/QUOTE]
me and my girlfriend had the same problem mate. It stopped after a while. We think it was either her "braking in" or mayeb i cut her
Just to ask pple me and my gf have been togetehr 11 months, i am 17 she is 18. We started having sex a month ago (virgins both of us), first time around there was quite a lot of pian for her even though i was extreamly gentle. We've had sex quite a few times since, we always perform a lot of foreplay but it still hurts her when it's going in. Any aidvice guys? Just so u know it usually hurts her for a little bit even if we sit perfectly still. On a few rare ocasions it will hurt even after a while. Any tips guys we're really concerned.
Ok first off, I want to make this clear to all the girls out there... PEE AFTER SEX!!! It sounds stupid and it is kinda hard to just get up an leave right after, but you really need to to avoid UTI (urinary track infection) These are horrible! They are caused by bacteria going up your uretha. Makes sense... there is lots of close contact in that area... Also, about the only way you can get one is by having sex... an easy way for you parents to find out, I have a friend that got one and thats how her parents knew she wasnt a virign. My mom had a horrible one right after college and had to go to the ER, so plase do!
Now for losing virginity...
If your prepared, and have been fingered a lot, etc, it wont be as bad. Its normal to bleed to an extent, but not profusly. Dont do anything too rough your first time, take it slow and easy, and i would say Missionary (girl lay down on her back on bottom with her legs spread and guy on top between her) is the best for this. Guy has most control, where is if the girl is on top, and is experienceing pain, its harder to continue. Also, my x, whom was my first (I was 18) didnt want to hurt me, and i was making faces of pain! So maybe cover your face somehow... so he cant see the look of agony! Also, LUBE is wonderful! Put it all over the penis and on the girl and get it over with, just go in quickly, like ripping off a bandaid, the quicker the better. And usually, as you go on, it hurts less, and if you have sex frequently, it will hurt less. Hope this helps some of you!
the hymen isn't far up inside you. Its a piece of skin that partially covers the entrance to your vagina.
If you guys were doing stuff like fingering and if you have used tampons, etc... your hymen was long gone before you had sex.
There is a spongy ball feeling thing on the upper wall of the vagina, a few inches in.. that is normal. Way farther in, could be your cervix.
hi
my bf and i did 2nd and 3rd bases for about 6+ months before sex, whenever i would masterbate i could feel what i thought was my 'cherry' cuz thats wat it felt like i guess, the first time it didnt hurt unless he went really deep or hard. there was no blood or anything but now i can still feel the..whatever it is. his junks are pretty big/average so i dont know if he just didnt go deep enough to get to the hyman? Is this normal or is there something else inside me?!
ok so i had sex for the first time the other day and during and afterwards it hurt and i went to the bathroom afterwards and i was bleeding like it wasnt alot like my cherry had been popped but it was just like a cut or something so when i got home i wanted to make sure everything was ok but like i think like some of my skin had been torn on the sides or something and bruised to like its not big but only on one side like inside ...and i dk what it is really like i dk if i should be concerned or let it be and see what happens...please help cause i really have no clue on this?
Last night was my first time having sex. It hurt very bad, so he stopped. I really didn't think i was going to bleed, but about 2min after it was all over the floor and my legs. It was STILL bleeding that night, and just a tiny bit this morning. My 'opening' can only fit my finger, i couldn't even fit 2 fingers in there, and his penis is pretty wide. Is this something i should be worried about? Or should i just wait and see if i keep bleeding for a couple more days. I am deffently going to keep on trying though this site has gave me so much info that before i came on here i was scared to have sex for the first time, but after reading everything i was very relaxed the first time.
Well, as I had thought may have happened, he did dump his "girlfriend". However, the next time I'd gone over there, within 5 minutes he'd gotten arrested again. Heh. Well, once he figures out whether or not he has to go to Juvi or not (if he takes alchohal awareness classes he doesn't...) he says he wants to be with me. I'm nervous, but I do feel I'm ready. Thanks everyone for your advice
This is a litte bit offtopic...but I thought I'd mention it while I was on. I saw him the other day, and he had cuts all over him..up his arms, his back, his stomache...and who knows where else. When I asked him about it he simply said he was mad. I don't want to report this to anyone, because I know he doesn't do it to try and commit suicide...he does it to feel better. I called him later that night to see if he was okay, and he said he was, but what can I do to make sure everything will be alright for him? His parents really don't care.
Everyone is going to be a little nervous their first time. I mean, your first time for anything you're always a bit nervous. It's the same concept.
I went into it knowing it would hurt so I wasn't surprised when it did. I guess in a way, a lot of people should go into it like that so they won't be shocked when it does hurt.
It also took me some time to be able to get him in all the way with no pain. By sometime I mean like over a year... but take in mind we didn't do it frequently like most people do so by the like 4th or 5th attempt of doing it, it went in with no problem and no pain.
Just remember to not go into it like it's gonna be something out of the movies.
The first time is much more awkward than loving for most couples. In a sense it may be magical, but it's probably also not going to be ever so magical.
You may or may not experience pain and you may or may not bleed. I know someone who didn't have any pain nor did she bleed afterwards. I had pain and bleed off an on a little bit for a few days afterwards.
So, it all just varies on the person.
Just perpare yourself. Get some protection and get some lube and make sure he goes slow and if you're in pain, tell him to stop.
In response, I am in the same boat. Full of answers to many of my questions. I'm the only one out of all of my friends that remained a virgin. I think about it a lot now. I've read up on everything about sex from books to my friends to sites like this one. I really do feel like I know alot. I am very informed, I'm just inexperienced. I know I'd know what i was doing. But then its like there is just sooo much to rmember from other's experiences. where's mine going to fit in? Will it hurt, will I bleed? will it keep hurting? will I keep bleeding? Will i have to resort to a dr b/c of certain complications?? Sometimes I wonder why I even waited this long. It seems I've only gotten more nervous about it as time has passed. I AM ready, yet nervous. Also, before I even think about getting intimate, I want to talk to my doctor about forms and methods of birthcontrol. I think its the right thing to do before my v-card expires. Sex is a huge risk and certain consequences can be avoided. I would just like to know what anyone thinks about this. (comment!) But I guess first-timers can only know when their time comes. I learned alot from this site and from all of the helpful members' advice. Thank you so very much. It great to know that there are ppl out there willing to spend time informing the uninformed. Keep up the good work! Hopefully I'll be giving great advice as well. thanks.
[QUOTE=Quote (Svetlana @ Dec. 26 2003,17:33)]I don't know if I have broken my hymen. I use tampons..so I just wanted to know how far in your hymen is inside of you. My boyfriend has fingered me befor and he has gotten his whole middle finger in. So I just wanted to know how far it is up there.[/QUOTE]
isnt the hymen on the outside of the body?
Don't laugh, I'm 14. I understand this, but really...I don't think he likes her. More or less, he uses her to get by. He has nothing better, and he's never really felt "love" from somene before. I have a hard time letting go when I start to like them, especially when I see them almost everyday. I was as his house earlier today, and since I'm grounded from seeing him right now, I could only be over there for a little while. Still, he seemed interested, asking if anyone was at my house or not so he could come over. Sadly, my family is at my house, and their first impression of him wasn't great. He's 16, almost 17, but to me age has always been just a number. It's more of a maturity thing in my mind. I figure that maybe if I do just bluntly ask him if he's interested in me at all, I can get it all over with. If he's not, that's fine with me...I can deal with just being friends. I'm just worried that it may make him uncomfterable and I'll lose my friendship with him.
Well, Id say find someone who isnt attached. Barring that tell him when he isnt attached youd be very interested. I figure if he didnt have something for the girl he is never around.. well he wouldnt be "with" her. Why set yourself up for being hurt if you can avoid it?
Well, I just spent a hell of a lot of time reading every reply to this post, and I've got to say it's been very helpful to me.
I'm in quite a situation myself, and I really am confused.
I currently met a guy that I've found myself drawn to...he's pretty much everything I've ever looked for in a relationship, plus more. He's two years older than me, and he's definately not what you'd call a virgin. However, I am a virgin to many things. Really, the farthest I've gone is making out and, well, having my breasts "groped". Still, I really thing he's the one I want to lose my virginity to.
I have a problem though. He does have a girlfriend, but she's never around him, or vice versa. When she calls, he doesn't answer often, and she's cheating on him. He knows this. Him and I have gotten very close; I'm over at his house all of the time, and recently we even got arrested together. I've picked a winner, huh? Well, despite all of the shit we've gone through, I really do love him. I'm just nervous...I've always been somewhat self consious about myself and my body, even though I know I'm not "fat" or completely "horrid". Whenever I'm around him, I just know I want to lose it to him and that I am ready.
I just don't know how to express this to him, knowing he does have a girlfriend. And I'm worried that if I do end up talking to him about it, how weirded out he may be. I don't know how guys usually react to things like that. Any advice?
God I remember my first time... It hurt so much, I was walking like John Wayne for 2 days afterwards! Seriously though, as long as you're relaxed and comfortable with both the guy and the situation - it's always worse if you're nervous. Take it slow, is the best approach.
Reading the first time and hurting, and if it didn't hurt they may have had sex. I have been with my gf for about 3 years, and having sex for about 1. The first time was just as easy as it is now. There was no pain for her, and she came her first time. I had stretched her out many times before, and i dont know if thats enough to make it that easy?
Evereyone is different down there.
If you go to google.com and do an images search for the hymen, various pictures will come up and you will see various pictures of the hymen and the vaginal opening.
You also haven't engaged in sexual intercourse yet so teh hole itself probably isn't as "open" so to speak as someone who has.
Wow, that site is really helpful. I can't tell you how long I've been searching for something like that.
Unfortunately I still don't really know the answer to my question.
I don't see a definite open entrance to the vagina like there is in that picture....uh I guess that's probably too much information... I guess I'm just weird down there
It's doubtful your hymen was there if a full pelvic exam was performed.
I would think that if it was still there, the doctor would have asked if you would like it cut so they could continue on with the exam. (Granted, I don't know. Brandye would probably shed some more light on this subject.)
And yes, it's right at the entrance.
It's pretty much a layer of skin. You should be able to see it if you still have it.
Yeah I was thinking the same thing Tease.
I didn't have my first PE until I became sexually active.
here is a pic.
its up to you if you want to see it lol.
I've been reading through this thread, feeling relieved..that I'm not the only one. I'm still a little embarassed though.
I'm 23, and only a few days ago, I had sex for the first time. Actually, it wasn't my real *first* time, but I think my hymen was broken then...so maybe the first time I had sex, which was pretty brief wasn't enough..
Anyway, my boyfriend kept trying to penetrate me, but it just kept on hurting. It seemed like there was a huge barrier and that his penis just wouldn't fit. I was SO embarassed. But he was really patient with me (a complete gentleman) and he *blush* went down on me..which is something that I never thought I'd allow out of sheer embarassment, because I don't get a Brazilian or anything... but basically I was really wet, and he kept on trying, being as gentle. After initial pain..it started to feel right, and he came...
I thought he'd stopped because it didn't feel right, or it was just awkward cos I wasn't feeling the *most* pleasure..but it was because he did. We tried for a second time a while after, and oh yeah...it felt better.
Now that I've had a try..I'm SO horny all the time! I just wanna keep trying! Sorry about the long post..
thats good to hear.
i was just curious as to how he really felt about the whole situation.
well good luck w/ everything and i do think its good you are taking it slow.
well are you putting too much pressure on him?
i mean, if he feels uncomfortable and doesn't want to jeopardize his relationship w/ you or your father, then you should consider that.
is it worth losing a great friend over?
are you just bound and determined to lose your virginity?
No, I'm not putting too much pressure on him. He was about to come over one night and I told him that I wanted him to come over but I needed to explain a few things to him first. I told him that I had never done anything with anyone before and if this was going to happen, I figured that I would let him know before I led him on again. I told him that IF something were to happen, I would want it to be with him because I trust him and feel safe with him. I don't see any pressure with that. He simply told me that it shouldn't be a one night stand kind of thing. He's clarified that he cares about me and he doesn't want to hurt me. He never said that he was uncomfortable about any of this. And we talk just about every day.
My dad knows how I feel about him. He just doesn't know that we are talking about doing anything together. I'm afraid of his reaction if someone ever found out and told him. He knows that I care deeply for him, though...and he's fine with it.
I'm not bound and determined to lose my virginity. Its just that we have been talking for a while now and I feel that I am ready for this. I've told him, if something happens..it happens. If not, then it doesn't. I've also told him that if things came close like the last time he almost came over, I wouldn't want him to feel the need to stop himself. And like I said, that is why we are taking things slow and not jumping straight into sex.
If it was your first time, there is probably no reason to go to a doctor. While not everyone bleeds their first time, it is not at all unusual. The only reasons you should worry are if it wasn't your first time or if you continued to bleed for a long time afterword.
if you are bleeding your first few times could it be that you may be a bit too tight still or he is a little big? it may take a few times to subside. to be safe see a doctor.
thankyou. it didnt hurt as much as i thought and imagined. we have done it since and it was great, no pain and im so happy i have dont it now. i didnt even bleed after, although there was little blood on the condom, is this normal?
i am going to be having sex soon for the first time, and of course i can't wait, im really excited, but i am worried about the pain, is it that bad, im really nervous about that. i haven't used tampons before, but i have been fingered, i would be very greatful for any female advice on this, becuase i am worried.
but very ready lol
hm...it seams you cannot wait to have your first time.
I can only give you advice from my expirience,of course.
On my first time i didn´t bleed at all.I also didn´t use any tampons but i was in sport for a while so i heard that could be a reason.But my partner was VERY gentle with me(i have to tell you that i am very sensitive on pain) and it didn´t hurt so much.I cannot tell you it didn´t hurt at all,but it was acceptable!
Just relax yourself and ask him to be very gentle(don´t be affraid to ask him to stop if it hurts you too much and to try later!That is your body.You have ful control over it!)...and don´t expect too much of the first time.At least i didn´t have any orgasm on the first time but second time and all others later were great!
first off you have to relax, you are excited but you are worrying yourself too much.
You probably will bleed, but dont get scared it is normal. It does hurt but it wont hurt for the whole time, (well it didnt for me) He just has to take it easy, and dont go to fast because it will hurt even more.
Its not as bad as you think, It hurts but not as bad as people make it seem. So dont worry, just take it easy, and you'll be fine.
he will knw to take it slow.
it hurt me, but only a little, it wasnt as bad as ppl make it out to be.
i did bleed after wards, but only a little bit.
it only hurt when he first entered me.
being fingered can make a difference, although id been fingered b4, and his penis goes in further then his fingers and hits different parts, so dont expect no pain becoz uve been fingered.
dont worry too much, just relax and take it steady!
lube such as KJ Jelley well help greatly. After your first time it will feel so good to have him inside you. if you have been fingered frequently it most likley won't hurt as much. good luck!
Hi Guys,
I would like to thank you first for your help. My gf and I have dated now for over three months, we are both 20 years old, and we are both virgins. She has let me finger her for about 2 months now, but tonight something different happened. I tried a new technique, angling downward more, and started going pretty fast. She loved it and was screaming for more, so of course I gave her more. When we were all finished up, we laid down together for awhile, and when we turned on the lights to get dressed there was blood on the sheets. She went to the bathroom to examine and everything, and said that it felt like a cut. I have been reading other posts about the hymen breaking and am wondering if that is what it was, or if it is just possible that I cut her with my fingernail, or just stretched her out or something. I can not even fit two fingers inside of her, she is that tight. The fingering was never painful for her but at the end she said it felt a little sore. We talked about it afterwards and she said that it felt like it got pulled or something, and that there is a cut...but there was quite a bit of blood. I know that this is the first time she has bleed as a result of sexual activity, but I have fingered her extensively before. I just want to know what exactly happened, the consequences (if any) of it, how it can be fixed (if need be) and if it is normal. Any opinions, thoughts or answers you guys can provide will be greatly appreciated. Thanks a lot guys, I genuinely appreciate your responses.
It is pretty rare that anyone would bleed from being fingered. However, if the bleeding stopped and your girlfriend isn't in pain or experiencing anything unusual I wouldn't been overly worried. If she is concered for any reason, she should go to a doctor. And yes, it is possible her hymen broke if she is a virgin.
Most likely: her hymen was torn. No big deal.
Other possibility: a little too rough and your finger nail cut her. Not much of a deal either.
You tongue can do less damage.
Thanks a lot for the responses, they were helpful. Have a good Sunday.
Would having sex for the first time hurt less if my hymen was already broken by a doctor?
Hey can someone give me sum advice please.I've just entered a serious relationship with a guy i really love and who really loves me and we both want to make love.The thing is im a virgin and am totally scared of the pain.We've tried but because im so nervous and because of that tight,we cant get his dick in and the slightest hurts.How can i relax and make it able for him to get inside?
as you'll read around...most would advise lots of foreplay to get you relaxed and the vagina relaxed. in addition, lots of lube.
when I was with this guy the other week he began to finger me, for a split second it hurt but then he did it again, it wasn't pleasure, it just felt weird, I am a virgin or at least I think I still am.
I remember when I first had sex.... I was really wanting it and was ready... but yes it did hurt like hell! I'm just lucky that my boyfriend was gentle and when I told him to stop moving... he stopped...
All I can say is take it slowly, if it really hurts then ask him to stop, breathe deeply, relax and once you feel ready get him to put it in a little further...
also from personal experience, the first couple of times were painful but all you need to remember to do is relax. once you've started to relax he'll go in easily and it will be pain free
goodluck
Yeah as the other guy said you could try for him to finger you first and ... do you get really nervous and tense???Cuz if you do then your vagina could tighten a lot when he has sex with you. On the first couple of times it does hurt for a lot of people so keep experimenting and stuff like that... also try maybe lube... put extra lubrication of and it could help with it not hurting cuz you or he may not be wet enogh if you guys don't wear condom and if you do use a condom still use soem lube... like ky jelly or something like that... cuz a condom sometimes doesn't give you enough moisture.
Okay, my girlfriend does masturbate, but 95% of the time it is clit only, she puts a finger in there occasionally. We are both virgins and she said she has never noticed that she bled from any masturbation or anything. She said unless she popped it with a tampon and didnt notice it that it is still there? What do you think? Even if it is gone, will it still hurt her? And if it gone she wont bleed will she? Thanks to everyone that helps!
[QUOTE=Quote (Sephiroth @ Aug. 12 2003,10:15)]Okay, my girlfriend does masturbate, but 95% of the time it is clit only, she puts a finger in there occasionally. We are both virgins and she said she has never noticed that she bled from any masturbation or anything. She said unless she popped it with a tampon and didnt notice it that it is still there? What do you think? Even if it is gone, will it still hurt her? And if it gone she wont bleed will she? Thanks to everyone that helps![/QUOTE]
It may hurt, and it may not. I could comfortably fit several fingers into my vagina before I had sex, but my first time was still very painful for me. If she only puts in one finger at a time, there is a good chance that not enough of her hymen has been worn away to make her first time painless.
Thanks.
I just love her soo much and I dont wanna hurt her or anything. She wont bleed if the hymen is gone will she?
[QUOTE=Quote (WildF17 @ June 08 2003,19:44)]Thanks a lot for the responses, they were helpful. Have a good Sunday.[/QUOTE]
me and my girlfriend had the same problem mate. It stopped after a while. We think it was either her "braking in" or mayeb i cut her
Just to ask pple me and my gf have been togetehr 11 months, i am 17 she is 18. We started having sex a month ago (virgins both of us), first time around there was quite a lot of pian for her even though i was extreamly gentle. We've had sex quite a few times since, we always perform a lot of foreplay but it still hurts her when it's going in. Any aidvice guys? Just so u know it usually hurts her for a little bit even if we sit perfectly still. On a few rare ocasions it will hurt even after a while. Any tips guys we're really concerned.
Thanks
Ok first off, I want to make this clear to all the girls out there... PEE AFTER SEX!!! It sounds stupid and it is kinda hard to just get up an leave right after, but you really need to to avoid UTI (urinary track infection) These are horrible! They are caused by bacteria going up your uretha. Makes sense... there is lots of close contact in that area... Also, about the only way you can get one is by having sex... an easy way for you parents to find out, I have a friend that got one and thats how her parents knew she wasnt a virign. My mom had a horrible one right after college and had to go to the ER, so plase do!
Now for losing virginity...
If your prepared, and have been fingered a lot, etc, it wont be as bad. Its normal to bleed to an extent, but not profusly. Dont do anything too rough your first time, take it slow and easy, and i would say Missionary (girl lay down on her back on bottom with her legs spread and guy on top between her) is the best for this. Guy has most control, where is if the girl is on top, and is experienceing pain, its harder to continue. Also, my x, whom was my first (I was 18) didnt want to hurt me, and i was making faces of pain! So maybe cover your face somehow... so he cant see the look of agony! Also, LUBE is wonderful! Put it all over the penis and on the girl and get it over with, just go in quickly, like ripping off a bandaid, the quicker the better. And usually, as you go on, it hurts less, and if you have sex frequently, it will hurt less. Hope this helps some of you!
the hymen isn't far up inside you. Its a piece of skin that partially covers the entrance to your vagina.
If you guys were doing stuff like fingering and if you have used tampons, etc... your hymen was long gone before you had sex.
There is a spongy ball feeling thing on the upper wall of the vagina, a few inches in.. that is normal. Way farther in, could be your cervix.
hi
my bf and i did 2nd and 3rd bases for about 6+ months before sex, whenever i would masterbate i could feel what i thought was my 'cherry' cuz thats wat it felt like i guess, the first time it didnt hurt unless he went really deep or hard. there was no blood or anything but now i can still feel the..whatever it is. his junks are pretty big/average so i dont know if he just didnt go deep enough to get to the hyman? Is this normal or is there something else inside me?!
How Do You Get Vaginal Blood(or Whatever You Call It) Off Ur Bed Sheets?!!!!
Someone Tell Me Quickly Before My Mum Finds Out Lol
ok so i had sex for the first time the other day and during and afterwards it hurt and i went to the bathroom afterwards and i was bleeding like it wasnt alot like my cherry had been popped but it was just like a cut or something so when i got home i wanted to make sure everything was ok but like i think like some of my skin had been torn on the sides or something and bruised to like its not big but only on one side like inside ...and i dk what it is really like i dk if i should be concerned or let it be and see what happens...please help cause i really have no clue on this?
Last night was my first time having sex. It hurt very bad, so he stopped. I really didn't think i was going to bleed, but about 2min after it was all over the floor and my legs. It was STILL bleeding that night, and just a tiny bit this morning. My 'opening' can only fit my finger, i couldn't even fit 2 fingers in there, and his penis is pretty wide. Is this something i should be worried about? Or should i just wait and see if i keep bleeding for a couple more days. I am deffently going to keep on trying though
this site has gave me so much info that before i came on here i was scared to have sex for the first time, but after reading everything i was very relaxed the first time.
Well, as I had thought may have happened, he did dump his "girlfriend". However, the next time I'd gone over there, within 5 minutes he'd gotten arrested again. Heh. Well, once he figures out whether or not he has to go to Juvi or not (if he takes alchohal awareness classes he doesn't...) he says he wants to be with me. I'm nervous, but I do feel I'm ready. Thanks everyone for your advice
This is a litte bit offtopic...but I thought I'd mention it while I was on. I saw him the other day, and he had cuts all over him..up his arms, his back, his stomache...and who knows where else. When I asked him about it he simply said he was mad. I don't want to report this to anyone, because I know he doesn't do it to try and commit suicide...he does it to feel better. I called him later that night to see if he was okay, and he said he was, but what can I do to make sure everything will be alright for him? His parents really don't care.
Alright well thanks again. I'm out. :P
Everyone is going to be a little nervous their first time. I mean, your first time for anything you're always a bit nervous. It's the same concept.
I went into it knowing it would hurt so I wasn't surprised when it did. I guess in a way, a lot of people should go into it like that so they won't be shocked when it does hurt.
It also took me some time to be able to get him in all the way with no pain. By sometime I mean like over a year... but take in mind we didn't do it frequently like most people do so by the like 4th or 5th attempt of doing it, it went in with no problem and no pain.
Just remember to not go into it like it's gonna be something out of the movies.
The first time is much more awkward than loving for most couples. In a sense it may be magical, but it's probably also not going to be ever so magical.
You may or may not experience pain and you may or may not bleed. I know someone who didn't have any pain nor did she bleed afterwards. I had pain and bleed off an on a little bit for a few days afterwards.
So, it all just varies on the person.
Just perpare yourself. Get some protection and get some lube and make sure he goes slow and if you're in pain, tell him to stop.
In response, I am in the same boat. Full of answers to many of my questions. I'm the only one out of all of my friends that remained a virgin. I think about it a lot now. I've read up on everything about sex from books to my friends to sites like this one. I really do feel like I know alot. I am very informed, I'm just inexperienced. I know I'd know what i was doing. But then its like there is just sooo much to rmember from other's experiences. where's mine going to fit in? Will it hurt, will I bleed? will it keep hurting? will I keep bleeding? Will i have to resort to a dr b/c of certain complications?? Sometimes I wonder why I even waited this long. It seems I've only gotten more nervous about it as time has passed. I AM ready, yet nervous. Also, before I even think about getting intimate, I want to talk to my doctor about forms and methods of birthcontrol. I think its the right thing to do before my v-card expires. Sex is a huge risk and certain consequences can be avoided. I would just like to know what anyone thinks about this. (comment!) But I guess first-timers can only know when their time comes. I learned alot from this site and from all of the helpful members' advice. Thank you so very much. It great to know that there are ppl out there willing to spend time informing the uninformed. Keep up the good work! Hopefully I'll be giving great advice as well.
thanks.
[QUOTE=Quote (Svetlana @ Dec. 26 2003,17:33)]I don't know if I have broken my hymen. I use tampons..so I just wanted to know how far in your hymen is inside of you. My boyfriend has fingered me befor and he has gotten his whole middle finger in. So I just wanted to know how far it is up there.[/QUOTE]
isnt the hymen on the outside of the body?
Don't laugh, I'm 14. I understand this, but really...I don't think he likes her. More or less, he uses her to get by. He has nothing better, and he's never really felt "love" from somene before. I have a hard time letting go when I start to like them, especially when I see them almost everyday. I was as his house earlier today, and since I'm grounded from seeing him right now, I could only be over there for a little while. Still, he seemed interested, asking if anyone was at my house or not so he could come over. Sadly, my family is at my house, and their first impression of him wasn't great. He's 16, almost 17, but to me age has always been just a number. It's more of a maturity thing in my mind. I figure that maybe if I do just bluntly ask him if he's interested in me at all, I can get it all over with. If he's not, that's fine with me...I can deal with just being friends. I'm just worried that it may make him uncomfterable and I'll lose my friendship with him.
And your age is???
Well, Id say find someone who isnt attached. Barring that tell him when he isnt attached youd be very interested. I figure if he didnt have something for the girl he is never around.. well he wouldnt be "with" her. Why set yourself up for being hurt if you can avoid it?
Well, I just spent a hell of a lot of time reading every reply to this post, and I've got to say it's been very helpful to me.
I'm in quite a situation myself, and I really am confused.
I currently met a guy that I've found myself drawn to...he's pretty much everything I've ever looked for in a relationship, plus more. He's two years older than me, and he's definately not what you'd call a virgin. However, I am a virgin to many things. Really, the farthest I've gone is making out and, well, having my breasts "groped". Still, I really thing he's the one I want to lose my virginity to.
I have a problem though. He does have a girlfriend, but she's never around him, or vice versa. When she calls, he doesn't answer often, and she's cheating on him. He knows this. Him and I have gotten very close; I'm over at his house all of the time, and recently we even got arrested together. I've picked a winner, huh? Well, despite all of the shit we've gone through, I really do love him. I'm just nervous...I've always been somewhat self consious about myself and my body, even though I know I'm not "fat" or completely "horrid". Whenever I'm around him, I just know I want to lose it to him and that I am ready.
I just don't know how to express this to him, knowing he does have a girlfriend. And I'm worried that if I do end up talking to him about it, how weirded out he may be. I don't know how guys usually react to things like that. Any advice?
Shaina
God I remember my first time... It hurt so much, I was walking like John Wayne for 2 days afterwards! Seriously though, as long as you're relaxed and comfortable with both the guy and the situation - it's always worse if you're nervous. Take it slow, is the best approach.
Reading the first time and hurting, and if it didn't hurt they may have had sex. I have been with my gf for about 3 years, and having sex for about 1. The first time was just as easy as it is now. There was no pain for her, and she came her first time. I had stretched her out many times before, and i dont know if thats enough to make it that easy?
also...
I agree with Tease, it is also so important that you are relaxed and comfortable when you are exploring your body with someone or alone. Best of luck!
Both really.
Fingering on ocassion before will help you get used to something being inserted down there and can help on the stretching thing
However, right before sex it is definately a good thing because it helps you losen up and be able to accept what's going to be inserted into you.
Evereyone is different down there.
If you go to google.com and do an images search for the hymen, various pictures will come up and you will see various pictures of the hymen and the vaginal opening.
You also haven't engaged in sexual intercourse yet so teh hole itself probably isn't as "open" so to speak as someone who has.
Wow, that site is really helpful. I can't tell you how long I've been searching for something like that.
Unfortunately I still don't really know the answer to my question.
I don't see a definite open entrance to the vagina like there is in that picture....uh I guess that's probably too much information... I guess I'm just weird down there
It's doubtful your hymen was there if a full pelvic exam was performed.
I would think that if it was still there, the doctor would have asked if you would like it cut so they could continue on with the exam. (Granted, I don't know. Brandye would probably shed some more light on this subject.)
And yes, it's right at the entrance.
It's pretty much a layer of skin. You should be able to see it if you still have it.
Yeah I was thinking the same thing Tease.
I didn't have my first PE until I became sexually active.
here is a pic.
its up to you if you want to see it lol.
Hi...Ive never had sex before, but I have used tampons, and I was wondering if I still have a hymen.
It's right at the enterance to the vagina right? Is it visible? What does it look like?
I had my first obgyn appointment a few months ago. It included a pelvic exam, but I was too embarassed to ask about my hymen.
I've been reading through this thread, feeling relieved..that I'm not the only one. I'm still a little embarassed though.
I'm 23, and only a few days ago, I had sex for the first time. Actually, it wasn't my real *first* time, but I think my hymen was broken then...so maybe the first time I had sex, which was pretty brief wasn't enough..
Anyway, my boyfriend kept trying to penetrate me, but it just kept on hurting. It seemed like there was a huge barrier and that his penis just wouldn't fit. I was SO embarassed. But he was really patient with me (a complete gentleman) and he *blush* went down on me..which is something that I never thought I'd allow out of sheer embarassment, because I don't get a Brazilian or anything... but basically I was really wet, and he kept on trying, being as gentle. After initial pain..it started to feel right, and he came...
I thought he'd stopped because it didn't feel right, or it was just awkward cos I wasn't feeling the *most* pleasure..but it was because he did. We tried for a second time a while after, and oh yeah...it felt better.
Now that I've had a try..I'm SO horny all the time! I just wanna keep trying! Sorry about the long post..
thats good to hear.
i was just curious as to how he really felt about the whole situation.
well good luck w/ everything and i do think its good you are taking it slow.
Thank you.
well are you putting too much pressure on him?
i mean, if he feels uncomfortable and doesn't want to jeopardize his relationship w/ you or your father, then you should consider that.
is it worth losing a great friend over?
are you just bound and determined to lose your virginity?
No, I'm not putting too much pressure on him. He was about to come over one night and I told him that I wanted him to come over but I needed to explain a few things to him first. I told him that I had never done anything with anyone before and if this was going to happen, I figured that I would let him know before I led him on again. I told him that IF something were to happen, I would want it to be with him because I trust him and feel safe with him. I don't see any pressure with that. He simply told me that it shouldn't be a one night stand kind of thing. He's clarified that he cares about me and he doesn't want to hurt me. He never said that he was uncomfortable about any of this. And we talk just about every day.
My dad knows how I feel about him. He just doesn't know that we are talking about doing anything together. I'm afraid of his reaction if someone ever found out and told him. He knows that I care deeply for him, though...and he's fine with it.
I'm not bound and determined to lose my virginity. Its just that we have been talking for a while now and I feel that I am ready for this. I've told him, if something happens..it happens. If not, then it doesn't. I've also told him that if things came close like the last time he almost came over, I wouldn't want him to feel the need to stop himself. And like I said, that is why we are taking things slow and not jumping straight into sex.
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