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1st Time Pain & Bleeding 101

I've tried having sex before, but we stopped because it hurt, now we are looking to try again. We're both virgins and the only thing that is keeping us this way is because I so afraid it will hurt. Does anyone know anything to make it less painful?

its not that tight. cause we have done it more then 5 times...i was just wondering if its possible that the whole 'popping the cherry' thing could be broken by stretching or something. i just want to know why it didnt hurt the first time, like everyone says it does. and i know i was the first guy to go down on her, i have losened her up to 3 fingers..but i'll try the KY stuff. but does anyone know why it didnt?

i think whateva ppl say to u your first time is always going to be a little uncomfortable but after a while it just starts to feel really good and its just getting to that point! just make sure that you boyfriends understands this and that he goes slow with you and is careful and doesnt put it in to fast or hardly! i was always told that the best way to make a pain a little less is to get your boyfriend to finger you first to slaken u a bit and also so that you get wet enough so that it can slide in easily so lots of foreplay b4 hand which is no bad thing!! i hope that eventually use start having sex when use wanna and that it wont hurt u and just think after the first time it will be out of the way and u wont feel as stressed or ne thing about it! hope i have helped a bit luv sam xxxx

try oral sex first and a little of fingering.
If you are realy horny and wet it will be easy, if not, then don't try.


so do u bleed straight away? or not?


last night was my girlfriend and my first time doin it together, we have each done it once before, but she said that my penis was a lot bigger than the other guys that she was with before. i can tell that it was painful for her, i even popped her cherry, will this pain still be there the next time that we do it.

DJ..... try some lubricant ky or astroglide. it will help but not cure your problem. i have to tell you tight pussy is about as good as it gets.

Many women have no pain the first time. I only felt a slight twinge. With active women, especially tampon users, the hymen is long gone before their first vaginal intercourse. For those who feel slight pain, that will be it.

There are those who have very thinck hymen. Sometimes, in extreme cases, this needs to be cut by a physician. It takes ten seconds and feels like getting a shot. For the rest, you can stretch your hymen. There are "instruments" to do this but it only takes a finger or two and relaxing. Many lay in the tub with warm water and stretch themselves.

The dyas of the painful first time and bloody sheets to display to prove she was virgin are over. We can all be ready.

There are "exercises" you can do to loosen up. I used to lay in a warm tub and stretch myself - mostly with fingers but then used some larger things.

That helps but relaxing is the most important thing the first few times. And plenty of lubrication. Use KY+ or OrthoGynol. They are good lubricants and are spermicidal. Naturally, a lubricated condom as well and you get on top of him. Keeps you in control and then it is easier to relax.



I'll be totally honest, I expected bleeding the first time I had sex, but I never realized I was until I woke up like 5 hours later shocked that I was bleeding. I bled a lot more than I thought I would, but it wasn't anything scary once I remembered that I had just had sex and it was obvious why I was bleeding. And the pain thing, it hurt for maybe a second and then I forgot all about it. If you are relaxed you really don't feel pain at all. If you are in extremem pain it is a good idea to stop, but for a little bit of hurting, if you are totally ready mind and body, go ahead with it because it isn't like there won't be pain the next time you try.


there is some gd advice here. me and my boyfriend are considering sex now. i used to be worried but after reading this information i am feeling alot more confident!! gd stuff!!


im new to the board so hi to everyone. I tried to experience my first time recently but had to stop as the pain was unbearable, i did not bleed but it hurt very badly. I have been fingered before and have tried to losen myself up in the bath but obvioulsy it hasnt helped any other ideas??


Good advice from Shorty!

If she wasnt in pain the first time you had sex? then chances are that she has had sex BEFORE you came along.
losing your virginity does cause pain and a woman can break her own hymen just by falling BUT if she has never had sex, then of course,it's going to be painful either way.

Get some lube to moisten things up.

[QUOTE=Quote ]DLink Posted on 4:00 pm on July 9, 2002
its not that tight.[/QUOTE]

if its not that tight to you and if you would like it to be, then have her begin to train the muscles in her vagina so that when you're inside her, she can squeeze those muscles around your penis real tight and then let go.

might help.


im scared of the bleeding after 1st time sex! can anyone tell me if this is bad or not?

well...he could try fingering you first to loosen you up a bit. But other than that....tell him to go slow and think about your needs first (a hard thing for a guy to do, from someone who's had to be patient with the woman)
It might be painful the first time but it gets better with time.


umm 'lilmisstrouble' read my post in your topic boys minds...kk?


me and my boyfriend want to have sex. but im scared to do it round his incase of the blood. i no it sounds stupid! will i bleed straight away. and fingering, will i also bleed. much info needed pls! if anyone wanna help please do....


butterfly, first you have to ask yourself if the pain is unbearable or if you just feel a slight bit of pain but aren't really ready for sex so your mind interprets it as extreme pain. If you feel that you are ready for sex and that it is truly physical pain I would suggest trying a lubricant. Then, if it still hurts I'd go to a doctor. The first time I had sex I was very ready for it. If you relax yourself everything is a whole lot more pleasant, the more you enjoy yourself the less pain you fell. I admit that I felt a slight amount of pain my first time, but I think it is rare not to feel anything your first time (if you are ready for sex and put it off because of pain it isn't like the pain will go away the next time). Anyway, try lubricating first and then a doctor.

well...its not if its gonna hurt, casue me and my gf have done it before. but i remeber the first time we did it, and it never hurt her. and i did finger her to losen her up, and she never complained about it hurting. then we did it a second time days later, and agian i fingered her to losen her up, and still she never complained. we are both virgins, and we have been going out for one year, and i have gotten her to be pretty lose. but what is up with the whole 'popping the cherry'? could it be done other ways, becuase i have heard that it can happen when stretching and what not.
also, she had never had someone finger her before me. help cause im confused!!!!

one more thing. we have done it twice, pretty much right after another, and the second time is when we have to stop becuase it hurts....anybody know why??? plz help!

If you do bleed, it will be only a small amount.

It sounds to me that you are not psychologically ready. Perhaps it is time to cool it for a while, do some some study, visit Planned Parenthood and try later.


im sorta in same situation except we havent had sex yet. but i no my bf wants to have sex. but im so scared of it hurting and going wrong etc so could anyone reasure me??


i am ready. i was just worried bout the bleedin like if we r in his bed lol! please reply


if you break the hymen, you may experience a small momentary twinge of pain and yes it will bleed straight away - but there is only a little blood.

if you are going to have sex and are worried about blood on the sheets, put a small towel under you.

if your hymen is already broken, from tampons etc, there should be no pain or blood.


well i think im ready, im in a long term relationship and wanted to have sex, i was pretty relaxed, so if its no better next time i shall go and see the Dr. thankx for the advice



for my first time, it did hurt, it was like a pinching feeling. I teared up, but as long as he goes slow, its not that bad.


It hurt like hell and the guy it was with turned out to be an asshole.


It was uncofortable for me, never didnt really "hurt".
Buy it wasnt orgasmic thats for sure lmao!!!


No, it did hurt as far as I remember. I was so happy at that moment with my boyfriend that if it did hurt my joy totally took over. I guess I do remember things feeling awkward, but no pain, suffering, agony, or anything.

And listen to Brandye, she is right. Having sex will change your life. I have spent many days just wondering if my period would come and be on time and stressing out.

Dirrty LiL Duckie

I know people vary on whether or not sex hurts for the 1st time, I wanna know, from all of our ladies opinions... did it hurt you the 1st time, and how much, or how little was the amount of pain? And, does gettin fingered and using tampons really help reduce the pain (if there is any)? Thanks.

You are correct: it varies from a non-issue to screaming pain. There are three things that make the difference:

1. Hymen. If you have an extremely tough hymen (unusual but not rare), it will hurt. If you have had a gyn exam (and if you are old enough for sex you should have had one) the doctor will usually comment on this and give you the opportunity to make a little cut - practically painless. If you have used tampons regularly the hymen is likely worn down and will offer only minimal resistance. Try with a super sized tampon in a cardboard applicator. If that works, you will have no problem with a penis.

2. Lubrication. Generally, the first time you will be a bit nervous and arousal may not be too great. Your natural lubrication may not be sufficient. Use a liberal amount of a spermicidal vaginal jelly (KY Plus, Ortho II or similar). This is a good idea all the time as the spermicidal lube will offer increased protection over condoms alone.

3. Relaxation. If the muscles of your lower abdomen are tight, as from nervousness, they will resist entry. Be relaxed as you can get at such a time. It often helps to be on top because it gives you confidence that you are controlling things and can back off if you want.

Mostly, look over the stuff here on birth control. You are embarking on a great adventure that includes sweating out your period for the rest of your life. That monthly stress is pretty tough to handle as a teen. You get used to it but much damage can be done to your life if you spend your teen years constantly worrying about pregnancy. There is no perfect solution but you want the greatest odds in your favor possible.


For me it was a slight hurt. I made sure my boyfriend at the time went slow and at one point he said he was going to stop but I asked him not to.. it's a 'good' hurt..

My first time was extremely painful. In fact, my first EIGHT times were extremely painful.


i just ha da slight pain, but you begin to get used to it, and it doesnt feel like pain anymore, being on top helps and makes it easier to.


hey i just had sex for the first time VERY recently, and i was freaked out, mainly about the pain, i was scared shitless...but he had fingered me before hand, and for weeks we had been using two fingers, instead of the one, and that REALLY helps...once you can get past two fingers (which isn't all that bad to begin with) you're fine...and before we had sex, he fingered me again (with two fingers) and that helped, and we used lots of lube, and i was wodnering how much it would hurt, and it didn't hurt at all...he went slowly and it was as long as you get fingered before, use lots of lube, and he goes slowly, you'll be fine

Pink Pony

My hymen was like Fort McHenry. We spent hours trying to break through it, I kid you not. He tried to enter me the old-fashioned way, but the wee wee was not going in anywhere. So we took a shower together and he tried to stick his fingers inside, but I was terrified after a certain point and screamed for dear life. When we got out of the shower we sat next to each other in bed watching random TV shows trying to forget. I told him that we could try again, but he said that it was "no big deal" but then I told him that I really wanted to do it. He's probably the only guy who is this patient. We spent like 45 minutes just caressing each other and kissing and after a while we started laughing about the situation. EVENTUALLY he worked his way in and I said "OWWWWWW! STOP!" and then he sort of hung around on top of me for a while, kissing my forehead, trying to calm me down. We didn't really go much further than that until a week later. The second time wasn't that swell, either, to be honest.


It took me a long time to be able to be penetrated when I first tried to have sex, I think my biggest problem was I couldn't relax because I was nervous. But when it finally did happen it was only mild discomfort and I think it probably would have been less so if we had used lube (one of those "I wish I knew then what I know now" things). It was a little uncomfortable the first few times after that, but after awhile I was a seasoned pro. Another thing I wish I knew then was that there was no rush, the whole time I was so anxious to get to the sex and I kind of rushed through the foreplay and I think more foreplay would have helped me relax.

I just got married. I have no experience and need your advice. Whenever having sex,after a few penetration, there is blood coming out from her vagina. have i done anything wrong or it is normal?


Hi everyone. I thought I'd bring an old topic back. It kind of caught my eye. Anyway, I did bleed the first time I had sex. I also bled ever so slightly the second time I had sex which was two days later. This is not unusual, I took the time to ask about it when it happened. If after your first few times you do not stop bleeding them something is wrong and you really need to go to the doctor.


well i bled after sex and i have no idea what happend can someone please help me???

I thought the same the first time. but it still happen after numerous time. How many hymen do they (female) have?

Yes they only have one hymen and once it's gone it's gone. So I would recommend talking to your doctor.


I bled the first time I was penetrated. Shorty has a good point though, if you continue to bleed then you might want to go get that checked on, and don't be embarrased to go.

sounds like you broke her cherry/hymen. but be safe go to a doctor

A gynecological exam is indicated. Now.


The skin is probably the remnants of her hymen - a doctor can remove it easily.

In any case, if she is still beeding she should definitely go see the doc.


Hay guys i have a close girlfriend which iam friends with she is alittle bit younger than me and has just started having sex and is asking me heapz of questions.

first time she had it she said she bleed heapz. and it was ok after that but she bleed abit more and somtiimes lots.

she rang me last night and was abit freaking out she said she had some skin hangin from like where here vigna from the top of it to the bottom of it like from the cliturs to the bottom.

i told her it must be the skin that broke and she should be ok but iam a little worried about here so yea

the skin is hangin from like her cliturs and she said its about 3 cm long and alittle think not much she said it dosnt hert that much but abit uncomfortable i said to leave it for afew days and see what happens if it falls off or dies

i wanted to know any views or if any one has seen know or experinced this before thank you =)

(this post was merged with this topic by the moderator)


well the bleedin is completely normal, it happened to me.

its just the hymen breaking.
but the skin hanging out, i never had that so i dont knw

i would suggest leaving it alone, and going to see the doc.
they will knw wot it is, and wot to do with it.

dont pull it off! whateva u do, just see wot doc says, sorry no other advice on the skin front!


Try reading the above responses. Then make a doctors appointment.

It could either be from not enough lubrication or broke your hymen or maybe something else. Only a doctor can tell you for sure.


worriedfemale8083b - you sound young, if I'm wrong I'm sorry. I wouldn't worry too much, my guess is that this was your first time having sex and your hymen broke. That is normal. If I'm wrong and you have had sexual experience, go to the doctor.