I'm 17, and I recently had sex the first time with my girlfriend. I was pretty hard during foreplay, but after about 6 minutes or so of sex my erection just kinda subsided - not the point where it was limp but it wasn't nearly hard enough to penetrate. We layed back and talked for a while and 20 minutes later it came back and she finished me off with oral sex. I've masturbated quite a lot since I've been about 12 or 13, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, and I'm wondering if this might explain what happened. I should also mention that I was using a trojan brand non-lubricated condom, maybe that has something to do with it? What can I do to improve my erections...or should I even have to be asking that at 17? Thanks
Sat, 06/04/2005 - 08:23
#1
1st time, erection question
It is not uncommon for the first time couple to experience problems. For the man, this is often manifested by a waning erection. There are two recognized causes, the first is what is commonly known as "Performance Anxiety," and the second is when the couple begins intercourse too soon.
Performance Anxiety is simply a case of nerves and worry. This goes away in time after a couple become more comfortable with each other and having experienced some successes.
As for entering too soon, it is a misconception that many guys have that pumping away in the vagina is the best way to trigger an orgasm. NOT SO. If we enter too early in our arousal process, expecting that the stimulation received within the vagina is going to do the job, we will often be frustrated as we continue to stroke and thrust to no avail. I have read accounts by several frustrated lovers who say "I pumped away inside her for twenty minutes and still couldn't cum" or words to that effect.
A much better strategy is for the couple to stimulate each other by hand and/or mouth until we reach the peak of the curve just before the trigger point of a climax. This done, we can begin intercourse and by modulating the stroking and thrusting, extend intercourse to any reasonable duration. Triggering an orgasm is also much easier because of the intensity of sensations achieved by all the foreplay.
The recommendation of many sexperts is to hold off on intercours until you are ready to have a climax then pause, stopping all stimulation in order to let the sense of urgence subside. When it has then the two of you can get into position, enter, and begin stroking. By modulating the the timing and length of the strokes along with the rhythm, you will be able to hold off having a climax until it is desired. The one caveat to this is Premature Ejaculation, the bane of many men in their early twenties and younger; however, this is another matter.
Masturbating two-three times a day is not unusual and has no connection to what you have been experiencing. The two things that frequent masturbation will do are to reduce the intensity of subsequent orgasms, and, to reduce the sensitivity of the nerves in the Glans. So, if you desire to have stronger orgasms particularly during intercourse, then reduce the number of times you masturbate during the previous twenty four-forty eight hours.
It is good that you did not feel particularly anxious, although, you could still be experiencing Performance Anxiety to one degree or another. If, on the other hand, you began intercourse while rather low on your arousal curve, then I would definitely hold off and build your level of arousal, excitement, and tension by hand and/or mouth, first.
Wearing a condom can and does effect the intensity of stimulation we receive. Some men actually do not receive sufficient stimulation thru the barrier to reach an orgasm. This also contributes to the fact that without ongoing stimulation, the erection will subside. One way to counter act this is to add lubricant to the Glans and to the inside of the condom ONLY where it will contact the Glans. This will permit some "wiggle room" and let the condom rub against the nerve endings. Try it and see if results improve.
I hope this is of help.
DD2
Thing is, I didn't really feel nervous. That's what is kinda throwing me off.
Could be SO MANY different contributing factors... 99% of which are not permanent afflictions.
Nerves or anxiety can affect your performance... just the worrying if you're going to go limp can MAKE you go limp.
Trust me. You're young... you've got a lot of sexual encounters ahead of you. Once you're able to relax and get over the "first-timer" stuff... you will have no problem(s).
Hey Cn, i had the exact same problem yesturday, i am also 17 and this was my first time. The girl i was with has done it before so i thought i would have no problem. But i did, my erection was good enough for other things but when it came time to penetration it didnt even go in. We tried 3 different postions too! Not only was this embarassing it also made me wonder why this would be happening to me while im pretty much in my sexual prime. I talked to a buddy of mine and he said it might have been cause i was nervous, or that i watch to much porn and i have de-sensitised myself from "real" sex. If anyone else out there knows why, plz tell us.