Years ago I did an article on analsex as a Golden Post that has disappeared somewhere. It said roughly that the anus is a one-way valve - outwards. It is not designed to accept penetration. As a result, there will always be damage to get started. The vagina is 40 cells thick and is wonderfully expandable. The tissues of the anus are one cell thick and are not very stretchy. Tears, at a microscopic level, always occur. The material passing through the anus is bacteria rich and infection is common.

I enjoy anal play, especially during cunnilingus, but do not accept penetration. I also recommend against it because in the long term, incontinence issues can result. Several in their late twenties posted that they had no problem I was wrong. Do not think twenties; think fifties. The accumulated stretching will have an effect.

Recognizing that many people do participate in anal penetration there are some guidelines: Plenty of lube, receiver controls depth of penetration and always use a condom. Some horrible urethritis can result in the man if there is no condom used.

You will "heal up" in a few days assuming no infection. We each have our limits and maybe you have found yours. Wifey's advice is off-base about becoming aorused. Sexual arousal makes the vagina ready but has no effect on the anus.

You should be feeling better in a day or two. I'm not sure if it can have an effect on tightness or not. My husband and I do it occasionally and I'm not loose there or anything. When having anal remember slow and steady and he doesn't have to be all the way in. One more word of advice....make sure you're good and worked up before doing anal.

> I did anal for the first time and my ass kind of still hurts.

Anal play should not ever hurt. That it does means it is being done incorrectly.

> I just wanted to know how long does it take for the pain go away?

I suppose it depends upon what was injured and how severely. If the tissue was chafed as is usually the case, healing should be fairly quick.

> Also, does anal sex like stretch ur ass hole out or something - this one time should not have any effect on the tightness of by a-hole right?

Ordinarily, no.
The anus and sphincters are accommodating and plyable.

> I was glad that tommy stopped thrusting his cock in me once I screamed that he was hurting me. I think he slid himself in me to far or maybe there was not enough lube on my ass.

Here is a list of the most common problems:
1. Using too little lubrication *
2. Not applying it thoroughly and completely
3. Inserting too large an object (penis or dildo), first, without
"conditioning" the anus with something smaller (a finger)
4. Shoving or pushing the object in instead of using gentle pressure

As for #1, if you think you are using enough lube, use more *
As for #2, apply the lube to a finger and #3 insert the finger using
gentle pressure. Once in and up to the first knuckle, wiggle the
finger around and back and forth in order to distribute the lube
along the sphincters. *
As for #3, the anus and sphincter muscles must be conditioned and
this means you should begin with a small object like a finger and then
gradually increase the size of the object. Never just shove a penis in! *
As for #4, always use pressure to tease the anus into accepting whatever
is to be inserted. Forcefully shoving something in like a penis or dildo (toy)
without working up to it is crude and rude.

After all is said and before it is actually done, begin spreading the lube around the outside of the anus to include wiggling the finger around the entrance. This is the starting point for spreading the lube.

*The next step is to liberally apply lube to the penis or dildo before inserting it. The object to be inserted should gently tease the opening; you can then gently press against the opening just enough for it to give way and let the finger or dildo slip in. Once inside, as mentioned above, stroke and wiggle the finger around to distribute the lube.
[COLOR="Orange">[/COLOR]Now for the cautionary note: If the person on the receiving end should experience discomfort, [COLOR="Red">STOP![/COLOR] pull out, add more lube to the affected area. [COLOR="Red">Never ever chafe the skin/tissue or cause bleeding.[/COLOR] Done properly, anal play should never ever be uncomfortable.

> I do not know if I will let him do anal on me again. I just may let it go to that I have tried it this once and it hurt to much to do it again. Or I could just let him finger my ass a bit.

Asked and answered.

I believe you have made the correct decision and to limit this form of play to just a finger or a dildo of some sort. Anal intercourse does not have much to recommend it; however, anal play with a finger or dildo can be great fun with some pluses as explained, below.

The anus and sphincters are richly endowed with very sensitive nerves that come alive or become reactive after we become very highly aroused. When they are stimulated they work cooperatively with what we experience from other forms of caresses going on at the same time. The result is that the intensity of these feelings and sensations are magnified many fold. So, anal stimulation when done in the later stage of arousal and during orgasm is a really good thing. Particularly for a guy, fingering will help trigger an orgasm that is being illusive and difficult as can happen once in a while, especially with one in a multiple string.

Now, let's discuss the male of the species. All of the above holds true for us, also and with one additional point of interest--the Prostate gland. This is a walnut shaped gland that can be felt as a small protuberence beneath the lining of the front wall about two inches inside. Rubbing or massaging it when we are at or near the stage of triggering an orgasm and even during the experience will send us into the Ozone! All sensations are intensified and a difficult orgasm can be jumpstarted.

> I am a 23 yr. old virgin, so anal sex would allow him to pleasure himself w/out taking my virginity.

Yes, I suppose; although, now you have better options. The two of you can now explore anal stimulation and include this form of play at the appropriate time to augment the other things you are doing. This is good.