> I can not find her clit and she is not even sure where it is.
It is located just below the junction of the two inner labia (lips). Trace along one or the other with your fingers and you will find it. You can also slip one or two fingers down along the folds of the upper vulva to the juncture feeling for a small mound. Third, have a look.
> I am unable to make my girlfriend orgasm through fingering.
You cannot. We do not give orgasms away. Each of us is responsible for our own. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve his/her own. The two of you should read through the articles listed in
the Index, specifically these:
The Anatomy of the Female "O", Answered by Brandye & Dancingdoc2 & Inspired by Godiva
Female Sexual Response
For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?
How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?
> I want to make her feel as good as she makes me feel.
Great! Please keep in mind that communication, and, providing each other feedback on what we may need--now, are keys to a successful relationship as well as the romantic aspect. Making love is not what we do to our partner, rather, what we do with an for them. The two of you should feel free to explore and learn together, and not become hung up on performing flawlessly. Perfection comes with practice and experience.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?