What are your thoughts about that? Well, let me start from the beginning and seperate my years using the sports I did......
When I used to figure skate (6-14), I would consider myself straight. I would not once consider having a relationship with guys. I would only fantasize about girls and going on dates with them. Yet, I had dreams about going over to a girl's house who I skated with and being dressed up in girl clothes (crossdressing fantasy).
Does not necessarily define your sexuality more so defines your fantasy.
After I quit, I did Tae Kwon Do (15-16/17) and started having gay thoughts. I would only pursue them online though with chat. I would read transgender fiction and such and even roleplay with other males and I'd be treated as the girl. So, I guess I would be considered a transgender since I did also dress up in my mom's clothes but did NOT get turned on by doing so. I would continue having thoughts about girls but start thinking about fellatio and anal. The thought of cunninglingus and intercourse started becoming disgusting to think about it around this time.
Transgendered means you assume the role of the woman since you are more comfortable as a woman then a man...IE: A man physically trapped with the thoughts of being a female. The dressing is not intended to turn you on rather it is meant to define your identity. You began thinking about Anal & Fellatio on yourself (having it done to you)? Or doing to another man? And you became repulsed by sexually engaging with a woman?
After TKD (17-present), I went to college and my life took a wild loop. I joined the local GBLTQ group and Jewish group but became more active and interested in the GBLTQ group. In the yearbook, my picture is in it. I started trying anal contact by fingering myself and using the end of a lightsaber to penetrate myself (the new kinds). Basically, I'd skip classes and just chat online with others. That's why I'm back home
Get back to a college and get your sexuality under control while you figure out your true sexual identity.
Back at home, I started taking up billiards more, basically because my parents openned up a pool hall which I will run someday (still wondering) and that's where my life is at now. I've become alot more interested in the BDSM community and chatting with Dom/mes and slaves/subs but the conversation ALWAYS leads up to males. I do sometimes have the thought of wedding a female just because society tells us heterosexuality is right but if I do, there'd only be kissing involved and nothing more.
Nothing wrong w/BDSM; however, I suggest you have a sexual experience before jumping into the deep end of the pool--stick w/ the kiddie pool for now. As far as marriage kissing alone declares a marriage as annulled since it was not consummated. Marrying anyone (regardless of societal beliefs) is DEAD wrong & CRUEL to the other partner & to yourself. Step up and be who you are; stop allowing this chicken behavior to rule you. You not only will ruin your life but you will devastate the other person beyond comprehension. If you are so compelled to marry a woman find one who is strictly gay herself--a lesbian.
So, what are your thoughts about my sexuality and my life? Any other questions about me, please ask
