[sera300]

Cheating to me is defined as doing something with the intent or the outcome being done unknown to the person who believes you are exclusive. If married and BOTH partners decide to have an open marriage, then it's their life and not cheating. If you decided to be in a MONOGOMOUS & exclusive relationship then go outside of the relationship without the express permission of the other, it's cheating. If just dating someone, there is no cheating nor implied relationship.

The point of not telling someone about your "infidelity" is a simple issue. You messed up, you feel guilt, in an attempt to rid yourself of the bad feelings, you tell your "exclusive" or spouse; only to hurt them beyond imagination. Is that better? I feel the dishonest one should knock it off and get back to their relationship & repair it; discussing the infidelity serves no purpose. If they decide to continue the relationship with the other person, then you have to tell and move on or get divorced. I can only tell you, been through it myself with my ex-husband; I knew damned well he was fooling around, he did not have to tell me, he just had to end it and straighten his act up and our marriage. When he fell for the gf (while he was married to me) and she became pregnant, I needed to know he was leaving and why. Needless to say he still did not tell me rather it took a private investigator to confirm my beliefs. So, I served him up with divorce parers on adultery, abandonment, and cruel & inhumane treatment...divorce my way. If he was a man and told me why he was going to leave, it would have been ireconcilable differences.

My point is defining cheating is one thing & another is why are you telling the other?