Name: BTDT Woman
Age: Old enough to be your mother, maybe even old enough to be your grandmother (shudder now and let's get on with it)
Gender: F
Orientation: Polymorphously perverse kinky queer gender warrior
Self Pleasure:
Have you ever masturbated? ANYONE WHO SAYS THEY HAVEN'T IS LYING OR DOESN'T KNOW THE DEFINITION OF MASTURBATION
If so, how often a week: DAILY WHEN NOT OVERWORKED
Have you ever used a random object to get off? Ex: a pillow, hairbrush, shower head, etc. PREFER MY TRIED AND TRUE VIBRATOR ON CLIT FOR GUARANTEED POWERFUL ORGASMS EVERY TIME
When you touch yourself, is it quick and dirty (aka get it over as fast as possible), or slow and passionate? HOWEVER LONG IT TAKES TO GET OFF (2-10 MINUTES)
Have you ever tasted your cum/pussy juice? LOVE IT. TASTE MENSTRUAL BLOOD TOO SOMETIMES. IT'S ALL GOOD!
Do you watch porn, or read erotic stories to get you where you’re going? SOMETIMES, NOT USUALLY
For men: when you jerk off, do you play with or otherwise touch your balls?
For women: when you pet your kitty, do you play with your clit, or use penetration to finish? CLIT, CLIT, CLIT
Personal Questions:
Are you a virgin? CHUCKLE
If not, when did you lose your virginity? DECADES AGO
If you are, why are you saving yourself? I THINK OF IT AS DEPRIVING ONESELF
Do you regret (not) being a virgin? HARDLY - I ONLY REGRET NOT HAVING MORE SEXUAL ADVENTURES WHEN I WAS YOUNGER
For non-virgins: Do/did you love the person you lost your virginity to?’ YES, UNFORTUNATELY FOR ME. HE DUMPED ME THE VERY NEXT DAY. (BOYS!)
Do you think sex is a sin? (even if you still have it, or aren’t religious) SEX IS ALWAYS A SACRAMENT WHEN IT'S LUSTY OR LOVING OR BOTH
Do you practice safe sex? USUALLY PRACTICE WHAT I PREACH, BUT I OCCASSIONALLY SLIP AND REGRET IT LATER
Have you ever had an STI, if so what? NO, WHICH IS REALLY SOMETHING OF A MINOR MIRACLE. I PROBABLY HAVE HPV LIKE MOST WOMEN WITH MULTIPLE SEX PARTNERS. I TEST ANNUALLY OR MORE OFTEN FOR THE MOST COMMON STIs AND EVERYTHING ALWAYS COMES OUT NEGATIVE. MY DOCTOR SAYS IT MUST BE BECAUSE I HAVE TAKEN ANTIBIOTICS FOR OTHER KINDS OF INFECTIONS.
Have you ever had an unplanned pregnancy/caused one? YES, 2. 2 ABORTIONS. NO REGRETS, NO SHAME, NO TRAUMA. I LOVE THE KIDS I BIRTHED AND ADOPTED.
Random Questions:
Do you even like sex?! I LOVE SEX
If you could have sex as often as you like, for as long as you like…how many days a week, and how long each session? 24/7 WITH PIZZA BREAKS IF I WON THE LOTTERY
What is your favourite position, or which do you expect it to be if you’re a virgin? FOR VAGINAL PENETRATION, I NOW PREFER REAR ENTRY (DOGGY). FOR POWER EXCHANGE PLAY, ME ON TOP FOR CONTROL. (I ASSUME YOU ARE ONLY ASKING ABOUT VAGINAL PENETRATION POSITIONS.)
Do you prefer long foreplay, or just going straight to it? DEPENDS ON MY MOOD - BOTH ARE GREAT. LATELY I HAVE ENJOYED GOING STRAIGHT TO IT MORE OFTEN THAN MY PARTNERS LIKE.
Ever done it somewhere where you could get caught? AND GOT CAUGHT MORE THAN ONCE
Hard, or gentle? TEASING FIRST, HARD LATER
Deep, or shallow thrusts? SHALLOW FIRST, DEEP LATER
Do you like to bite or be bitten? I BITE. I DON'T GET BITTEN
What about slapped? I SLAP AND MORE. I DON'T GET SLAPPED, ETC.
Women Only questions (some of these can be answered by gay/bi men):
Do you orgasm vaginally (penetration) or orally (clit stimulation)? CLIT, CLIT, CLIT
Have you even had an orgasm? DEFINITELY, BUT I DIDN'T FIGURE IT ALL OUT UNTIL MY MID-TWENTIES. KEPT WAITING FOR MR. RIGHT TO GIVE ME ONE DURING VAGINAL PENETRATION. FINALLY FIGURED OUT THAT'S NOT THE BEST OR EASIEST WAY FOR WOMEN TO COME. (ALL THOSE WASTED YEARS . . .)
Are you just as horny as the guys? AT LEAST
Do you like giving blow jobs, if so do you like how cum tastes? SOMETIMES; REALLY DEPENDS ON THE FLAVOR AND CONSISTENCY OF THE CUM (VARIES A LOT)
When you get wet, are you as wet as a geyser, dry as a bucket of sand, or just “normal”? DEPENDS ON HOW AROUSED I AM, OF COURSE
Sex on your period; yes or no? GENERALLY JUST TOO MESSY, BUT SOMETIMES CAN BE FUN FOR POWER EXCHANGE PLAY
Would you ever do anal? WOULD, DID, DO
What about fisting? VAGINAL FISTING - GIVEN AND RECEIVED NO RECTAL FISTING
Do you still pleasure your man orally/manually if you’re “not in the mood” but he is? HELL NO!!!
Do you like to snuggle after sex, or do you prefer to be alone? DOESN'T MATTER MUCH TO ME. BOTH ARE OK
Men Only questions (or women with a strap-on I guess!):
Are you selfish in bed; do you please your woman first or yourself? YOU MEAN, WHO COMES FIRST? ME WITH MEN, HER WITH WOMEN
Sex on her period; yes or no? GENERALLY TOO MESSY FOR ME, BUT I HAVE GONE DOWN ON MENSTRUATING WOMEN
Have you ever let someone finger or more your ass? Would you? WOULD, DID, DO
Favourite place to cum? (body part, or literal place its up to you) PROVINCETOWN?
Do you like how pussy tastes? NO, I LOVE IT!
