Quote:
Originally Posted by Engage!
I wouldn't risk it, but that's just my POV. I've had the opportunity to have a threesome and I've turned it down. It doesn't seem right, because sex is really an act between two people. Besides, if you are willing to share your partner it means that the commitment between you isn't really that strong. In my experience, the best relationships are exclusive ones. Besides that, your bf doesn't sound like he's thrilled about the idea. And btw, it's not "every man's dream," although I'm sure that many men would love to do it. I myself would never, ever, want to share my wife.
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I have found that the most committed couples are the ones who most enjoy a threesome. And I like sex and relationships best in threes.
I am polyamorous and bisexual. My ideal relationship is not being half of a couple, but being a third of a triad with a man and another woman. Being in a couple for me feels as "wrong" as being in a triad would feel to you. (Love and let love.)
When I am the third party playing casually with a heterosexual couple, I always check in with the woman alone to make sure she really wants to do a threesome and is not being coerced by her husband or boyfriend into doing something she doesn't want to do. Too often a man will put his wife or girlfriend into the position of soliciting a "lesbian" experience she doesn't want for herself. "Oh, by the way, do you mind if my husband watches us? He's a really nice guy." I find this approach sleazy and unfair to both women.
I have been surprised by how incredibly loving some couples can be toward one another during a threesome. They genuinely want their partner to experience this special pleasure and they are not threatened by the third party's role and presence. Without question, the threesome experience can strengthen a couple's relationship.
However, if I were the monogamous couple type like Ashley seems to be, I would set firm rules about the role of the third party. For example, absolutely no sexual or social contact between your man and the third party when you are not present. Insist on always being the primary communicator with the third party. And if at any point you feel uncomfortable or threatened by the third party or the threesome, or if you find yourself feeling romantically attracted to the third party, you have the right to stop the action. In other words, negotiate the rules before diving headfirst into a threesome.