Quote:
Originally Posted by uponhereyes
someone asked if you need to come out if you're bisexual. The fact is you only need to come out about something if you're intending to pursue it. A gay person doesn't need to come out if they are never intending to be in a sexual relationship. Telling a straight sexual partner that you're bi is because either you want them to allow you to cheat with same sex partners or you want to have a three way, or I guess if you don't want to share a bed with his cousin at the ski resort. The fact is sexual orientation is sexual, it shouldn't effect any non-sex part of your life (it's just the bigots that like to do that)
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I know what you're getting at, but can't say I agree with all of it. First up, unless you're asexual you're probably going to want to have sex . . . sometime! . . . . with another person. I basically did what you're talking about until I was 39 . . . I was celibate and even though I knew I was gay didn't tell anyone. Then I kinda exploded from the pressure. lol It's not a healthy way to handle your sexuality and I wouldn't recommend it. Bi-sexuality is more complicated, but if you feel it's a strong component of your sexual identity then it's better to deal with it than suppress it. If you're going to be covert with your partner it leaves you two options . . . . tell them much later in the relationship when they're probably going to feel a little betrayed you weren't honest earlier or cheat on them. Either option has the potential to be very damaging. If your "bi-sexuality" is really more of an occasional fantasy you probably will never act on then no, there's no reason to rock the boat.
I'd also say being gay isn't just about sex with someone of your own gender. It would be great if it was as transparent as that, but because of all the prejudice and misconceptions if you're "out", or living in a gay relationship with someone it can get quite involved in ways that straight relationships do not. At the moment it's part of the price you pay in not hiding and being who you are, sadly.