[wellmannered_squirrel]

Actually, seems to me that you're equally part of the issue.
You need (its a must) to turn her on before engaging in any penetration.
Have you tried oral sex on her? It might be a good way to build confidence between you two and help her relax.
Also, don't underestimate the good old kissing sessions.

My second thought is that she might just not be ready. If she was a virgin before, she might have no clue as to what she wants from a sex partner. Ask her if she ever masturbated and had an orgasm. It'll give you a good hint.

Last but not least : I beleive you should make a wise use of gradation in your sexual encounters with your girlfriend from now on. Do not always go for coït and feel deceived everytime it doesn't work. First get to turn her on on a regular basis, kisses and other foreplay. Then, you might want to give her oral sex as the next step. Mutual masturbation is good idea too (Masturbation is not just fingering (fingers in, fingers out) its much more than that. plz browse the forums to find more specific threads on the subject of foreplay). Really it should go from there.

Also I don't think sex will ever be good untill she really wants it. So her idea of waiting till she takes the lead is a good one. Sadly tho, you might not want to wait for that to happen if it takes to long. You'are perfectly in your right to end things at that point.

Best of luck.