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Male and Female Curves-

Now I bet you are thinking I'm going to somehow discuss the female form in all its beauty and wonder; male muscle definition, washboard abs, stature, and the like, right? Wrong. The curves I want you to be thinking about are female and male sexual response curves. Here's why.

Understanding how each gender responds to sexual stimuli will help the two of you mesh better when it comes time for one or the other of you to plant the idea of making love in your partner's mind; making out, making love, perhaps repeating, and then later basking in the afterglow.

Anybody who has studied biology or physiology knows that males and females are remarkably similar with many of our body parts sharing common origins. For all our similarities, though, we think, act, and react, and behave very differently. When lumping all this together, I often refer to it in my replies as how we are "wired". I believe it was Sigmund Freud who once remarked "women...what is it that they want?" Just the other day a woman with whom I work stated: "Men, I'll never understand you." For the world's population to be something like 99% the same genetically, there are vast differences within that last number. What bothers me about this with regard to human interactions is why guys do not take the time or see the importantance in finding out what makes a member of the other gender "tick" and what is relevent and important from their perspective.

A typical case and point is in thinking that just because "I" can be ready for sex in a couple of minutes, so I guess can she. For those of you who have guessed this way up to now, I'm guessing that if you've managed to read through these chapters you now know this is not the way it is. Let's look at the male and female response curves.

As a reference, please visualize a bell shaped curve. The curve is so wide by so high, has a rounded top, and gently sloping leading and trailing sides. Now, let's look at how this is modified for the male of the species. Our curve is rather narrow in width and has a fairly sharp vertical leading edge and a gently sloping much wider trailing edge. The top of the curve is rather short and flat. The female response curve is much much wider and has a very wide gentle slope to the leading edge. The trailing edge of the curve is even much shallower than the leading edge.

If you want to plot this out in order to visualize them better, try this: Make the Base Line of the male curve three inches wide by let's say three inches high. The leading edge will extend from zero to 1/4 of an inch. The top of the curve and flat "plateau" will be about 1/4 inch wide. The trailing edge of the curve occupies the remaining width of the curve.

A plot for the female response curve might be something like this: The curve will have a base line of ten inches and a height of three inches. The leading edge might extend from zero to one inch; the initial Plateau portion of the curve 1/4"; and, the remaining distance of the curve is for the trailing edge.

NOTE: By way of a disclaimer, these measurements are arbitrary. I tried to find the book containing information on the human response curves and could not put my hands on it. Sufice it to say that while the numbers might not be accurate, the relationship between the two curves is what is important.

Now for the kicker. To understand how these two curves relate to the real world, just change the base line scale from inches to hours. We now have a visual comparison for the relative response times for male and female arousal. Even more telling is the trailing edge curves that equate to the refractory and afterglow periods of each gender. The typical male experiences euphoria and a sense of peace and well-being for just over an hour; whereas women can go through much of the day with similar feelings. WOW! How marvelous this must be. The importance of the leading and trailing edge curves must be appreciated by those of us born male.

Much of what we know as romance is psychological. If you want great sex, then begin with a good psychological plan, a plan that might begin in the morning or even a day or two before. Plant the seed of an idea in your partner's mind. Seduce her. Romance her, just don't jump her bones after getting horny. If you pay attention to the former, the latter will be much more rewarding. The points being, 1.) not to be superficial and cavelier with your love making. 2.) If your relationship is to have meaning as well as importance, put some time and effort into planning your next romantic adventure. Involve her mind by beginning with the seed of an idea and an expectation of what may transpire later. Nurture the seed during the intervening hours. Telephone her during the day just to say "hi", or "I'm thinking about you"--and nothing more. Write love notes hidden to be discovered later as she goes about her day.

Making love has as much to do with the mind as it has to do with the body. Please do not ignore or discount this fact--maximize it to become the lover that will keep her in love with you, desiring more of you and what you have learned about love and romance. Make love to each other's mind as expressed physically. I encourage the two of you to learn how to do both well.

The Finale and the Afterglow-
Once the physical aspects of making love are over, continue to work on the psychological by cudling and talking if appropriate. Hold each other, whisper sweat nothings, and allow both of you to come down somewhat from the high of your respective climaxes. The afterglow can be used to further bind your relationship. It's an important time and not a time to just turn over and go to sleep, at least not immediately.