[dancingdoc2]

This chapter has to do with an important and critical aspect of romance that is seemingly being ignored or overlooked by many teens. Let's do some basic SexEd.

Making Out-

Back in the old days couples made out on the front porch swing, the hay loft or stack out back, the car seat, or out in a field. Because children w/could be ostracized by family, friends, and perhaps society in general, strict rules appled and it was rare for a couple to go all the way. What developed after the Sexual Revolution of the 1960s was a fine art for making out that in the vernacular was referred to as going around the "bases" or "making it to 1st./2nd./3rd. base" with a girl. The various stages were also known as:
* Necking
* Petting
* Heavy Petting
* Foreplay

Please keep in mind that making out used to and still should begin like it did in days past--in small albeit progressive steps.

NECKING--typically begins with kisses and caresses above the shoulders.
* stroking hair
* stroking the nape of the neck
* caressing cheeks, lips, ears
* Kissing

PETTING--moves these caresses to the upper body, arms, forearms, hands, fingers, palms, as well as the legs and feet, excluding the breasts and genitals.

HEAVY PETTING--incorporates the breasts and later the genitals in ever increasing levels of intimacy.

FOREPLAY--is the erotic stimulation of the entire body and specifically the erogenous zones immediately preceeding a climax either by hand and/or oral stimulation or more to the point--intercourse.

The steps should be all inclusive, meaning we move from A to B to C, revisit A, add D, revisit A & B, and so on and on. This also holds for each of the progressive stages. Foreplay {oral sex and/or hand jobs) should very much include all the kissing and caressing that has gone on before.

Getting Serious-

Before you ever (partially) undress, and before he begins to touch your genital area, you should be very aroused. This is accomplished by spending a lot of time to kissing and fondling and caressing and just making out. Devote no less than half an hour to necking and petting (more within reason if time permits) in order to get both of you very aroused. Do not rush to the finish line. There has been much mention of late about foreplay yet as important as this is, these activities come later, not sooner.

Why Make Out-

These physical activities have some benefits as well as being critically important for the sake of preparation. This is particularly important for women who require a slower more deliberate and liesurely pace toward Nirvana.

* gets your body physically prepared
* gets you in the mood, emotionally
* helps temper anxiety
* helps sidetrack inhibitions

The Erogenous Zones-

Consider letting him explore your breasts and later your genitals though your clothing before ever partially undressing. When you do begin to disrobe, take it in stages. As examples, let him begin caressing your breasts in passing while fully dressed. As you become more aroused, one or the other of you can unfasten your top or let him slip a hand from the bottom up or the top down if it is a pullover in order to fondle one or both through your bra--and perhaps slip a finger inside. Later, when comfortable with this level of intimacy, you can unfasten the bra and let it dangle. After dangling for as long as you need it to--remove it.

This same strategy works below the belt, also. Let him approach your genital area with passing caresses from the abdomen down to the pubic mound or from a thigh inward. He should not dally, just give fleeting grazes as his fingers move on to other areas. At some point (read: days or minutes into an event) he will want to linger around that area and caress it more. Let him when you are ready. If you are wearing a skirt or shorts that permit fingers to trace up a leg, then let these caresses become ever bolder over time. You most certainly do not have to part your legs or allow him to until you are comfortable with the idea and are physically and emotionally prepared by all that has come before.

When you are ready, let him explore your pubic area and later the crotch, through your panties. He won't feel much and you may or may not, either; yet what this is doing is building confidence, comfort, excitement, anticipation, and arousal--and in stages.

Talk to Me--

Communication is both important and key to a successful relationship. It is also important in the romantic aspect of a relationship. Talk to each other about your excitement, anticipation, expectations, apprehensions, and when you are able to put what makes you feel uneasy into words, tell him/her. This will become easier to do the more confidence you have in each other, your relationship, and with your self confidence and sometimes takes a few months to develop.

Boundaries--just how far can I go-

There is a modus operendi {M.O.) in love called "Implied Consent" that the two of you need to know about. It works like this: Women set the boundaries or limits as to how far a guy can go. We {guys) are free to move along the base line from here to there until she says or otherwise indicates that we have gone far enough. So, how do we know when we can go farther? "Implied Consent."

We just go to the previous boundary and when our advances are not stopped can conclude that that limit has been extended and we are free to explore and fool around until we reach her new limit and are again stopped. And, so it goes.

Implied Consent keeps us from forever wondering and from asking how far is too far or what is confortable. So, my recommendation is to start out and see how far around the "bases" you can go before she stops the proceedings. When she does, then you know the range you can work and be comfortable in. This does not mean that you cannot or should not approach her limit. You must test that limit in the future to see if she has extended it. So, go for it with confidence and "with all possible 'vigah'" as President JFK once said.

Please do not make an ass out of yourself by whining or complaining, or attempting to cajole her into going farther than she is comfortable with. Being a jerk, today, has a way of coming back to smite you later. When her level of trust in you and the relationship along with her self confidence and self esteem are bolstered sufficiently, you will be rewarded with a newly extended boundary. Rather than attempting to push the limits, you should be striving to work within those limits with an aim on pleasuring her to the fullest extent possible and making your lovemaking partnership and experience the best it can be for the two of you.