[dancingdoc2]

The purpose of this Sticky post is to discuss how a man and woman can best achieve an orgasm during intercourse.

Guys Specifically-

I have become aware in recent months of a trend particularly among teen boys that seems to suggest a widespread misconception on how to reach and achieve a climax when engaging in intercourse. If the two of you are engaging in intercourse before you have been aroused to the brink of an orgasm then you are starting intercourse much too soon. The common misconception among many young guys posting to the forums is that the way to build arousal to the brink of an orgasm is from lots and Lots and LOTS and LOTS of stroking and thrusting. WRONG. If this is what you and your partner are doing, then delay intercourse and devote a lot more time to making out. Stroking should be used to maintain a pre-existing high level of arousal and Thrusting to peak it taking you beyond the point of no control bringing on a climax.

The Bases, 1st, 2nd, 3rd., Home-

A knowledgeable experienced couple certainly can and usually do make love (meaning making out in all of its various forms) for longer than half an hour, often going an hour or two or more, depending upon time, inclination, and, mood. Making out is key to making love.

Unless the two of you are interested in the proverbial "Quickie", please devote no less than half an hour to making out, especially for her benefit (and yours!). As a guy you should be on brink of a climax yet not so close that you loose control when you decide to move into position. You need to have sufficient control left so that moving into position will not trigger your climax.

Making out tends to be more effective the longer we do it, within reason. It is safe to say that women particularly require at least a half hour in order to get all reved up because of the way they are "wired". Of course, all this reving tremendously benefits the guy as well even though we can be good to go within minutes. Just because we can be does not mean that women can always be ready and this is a critical lesson that seems to have escaped many a young fella's sexual education. Therein lies the crux of this post.

Making Out-

We achieve this high state of arousal that brings us to the threshold of a climax, best and ideally, by making out--Necking, Petting, progressing to Heavy Petting, and eventually moving on to Foreplay--all of these steps being inclusive. This means that we move from one step to the next within each category and then revisit each of the previous caresses as we add the next caress, and so on and on. In otherwords, you begin at A, add B, add C, go back to A & B, add D, and so on.

Necking, Petting, and Heavy Petting are progressive as well as inclusive and should come before any Foreplay. When you begin Foreplay, then all these other things are simply included until a person's passion, excitement, arousal, anticipation, tension, are peaked.

For more complete information, please read the third chapter, below.

Wetness-

The appearance of vaginal wetness indicates arousal only and does not mean a woman is ready for an orgasm by whatever method. Similarly, the appearance of Precum on the tip of a penis indicates an initial state of arousal, only.

Intercourse-

Now that the two of you are on the verge of orgasms, intercourse can begin.
I believe it is proper etiquette to be invited inside, whether by Implied Consent or an actual invitation--verbal or non-verbal.

What I've said in the past is that if intercourse lasts much longer than about ten minutes, most women report that they become sore, bored, and tired. This being the case, work within this window. After climaxing, if the two of you desire, you can take a break for a few minutes and then enjoy one or more orgasms after awhile. Women have a unique advantage and can experience multiple orgasms within moments of the previous, and, can enjoy many more than guys. A guy's refractory period {down time) is usually between ten and thirty minutes depending upon age, drive, and how he's "wired". A couple will often use his down time to let her enjoy more orgasms while at the same time keeping his level or arousal fairly high. When he is good to go, again, his arousal can be peaked, and another orgasm enjoyed. The process can be repeated a total of two to four times, again, depending upon age, drive, and, "wiring"--and, how many times within a 24 hour period he has already climaxed. Simultaneous orgams can be timed to be shared or not as a couple desires.

Gals Specifically-

It is very important for you and your partner to know and understand that of all the sexual positions a couple can use, very few provide the constant ongoing contact required to generate the necessary friction to sufficiently stimulate the clitoris. This being the case, what a kind, compassionate, skilled, lover does is to reach around and finger the clitoris while stroking.

Moreover, please consider helping her to achieve an orgasm before and/or after intercourse if it is her wish. It's a good thing to do.

Four of the positions that do stimulate a woman very well are:
1. Woman Superior
in which the man reclines face up and the woman straddles him.
2. "X"
3. "Y"
in which the couple reclines on their sides facing each other. The difference between the two is in the position of the legs.
4. Missionary position in which the man rides high up permitting the woman's genitals to rub against the base of the penis and pubic mound.

The Nature of Orgasms-

A. Women can and often do complain that the clitoris has become too sensitive to touch immediately before having a climax. This is temporary and occurs from the release of a chemical in the brain. This hyper-sensitivity mimics pain although it is not really and will disappear after several minutes.
B. Stimulating the clitoris indirectly is the best approach once it has become too sensitive to touch directly. This can be done by caressing adjacent pieces-parts, and/or folding the inner labia over it and massaging the clitoris through them. In addition, do not forget about the shaft that is buried beneath the skin and between the folds of the upper vulva.
C. The area around the outside of the vaginal opening and just inside are rich with sensitive nerve endings. If you want to stimulate the vagina, concentrate your efforts here rather than going inside, during the initial and early stages of her arousal.
D. Even though the vaginal vault is devoid of sensual nerve endings, women do enjoy the sense of fullness that comes from having a penis inside.

Because the female orgasm is much more internalized than a man's I believe it is good etiquette and a necessary part of feedback to let him know in no uncertain terms when she has climaxed. Doing so keeps him from asking the age old question of "did you cum (yet)"? Feedback can be given verbally or non-verbally. Verbal feedback can be a word or a phrase or some other utterance the two of you work out to convey a specific meaning. The same goes for non-verbal communication that can be a squeeze of the hand or some other form of body language.

Here is a quote from Brandye that both parties should know:
"25% of all women never have orgasms; 50% of all women need some stimulation in addition to penile thrusting to achieve orgasm. That leaves one-quarter of us who regularly have orgasms as part of regular vaginal sex.

Though all of us are capable of multiple orgasms, only about ten percent of us regularly have multiple orgasms. Many of us, I have no numbers, choose not to have orgasms each time we have sex." Fellas, it is what it is. Please do not belittle or demean or harass her on this matter.

The End of the Beginning-

The information presented in this treatise is very important to a couple's overall success and satisfaction. Each partner should take his/her cues from the other as to what is pleasurable, what is needed now, or what not to do. Their wish is our command and our pleasure to see happen. Please keep in mind that making love is a partnership. It is not what one person does to the other; rather, what we do with and for each other. Each of us is responsible for our own orgasms. All any of us can hope for is to help our partner achieve his/hers. Please avail yourself of this information to make them easier to attain and more enjoyable and rewarding each and every time.