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He NEVER actually gave her permission. She didn't say to him "husband dear, I want to have sex w/ someone else & this is the man, are you okay w/ that?" "why yes darling wife, go ahead, bang another man!". That NEVER happened, so he never gave her permission. There ARE men & women who do agree to go outside their relationship/marriage, in that case as long as they are honest about it & let their partners' know about it, then it's fine (not for me or others I am sure, but who am I to judge).
I am not slamming her...she asked if it was possible, then tried to justify her actions. Sorry but I gave her the HONEST opinion that she was looking for in her post. If she didn't want an HONEST opinion, then perhaps she shouldn't have posted. I didn't call her a slut or whore (like others on this board pretty much did). I just said I had no sympathy for her cause she was NOT being honest & that she wasn't doing the right thing & didn't explore all psychological opportunities w/ her current husband to make those sort of choices.
She obviously has guilt & realizes that it's not right, otherwise she would have never posted this ? to begin with, if you are sure about things, you don't ask others, KWIM? but she posed the ? and here we are, giving her answers.
I am no prude, I am not some person who is old fashioned, I am only 30 but I have values & morals in a relationship. Have I thought about leaving my DH for someone else to get certain sexual needs met? Sure... I have even discussed my unhappiness in my sexual part but one thing I would NEVER do is go elsewhere, first off...for me to have sex w/ someone, I have to love them, I can't do something out of lust, that's just me, others can, every one is different, "most" women can't do it out of lust, there is usually an emotional bond that they have w/ their partner to have sexual intercourse.
Anyways... the point I make is that I don't feel she is being honest & laying all cards on the table. If she were that would be different & if her husband was aware of her actions or intentions PRIOR to her "escapades" then sure, go for it, if everyone involved is happy, what ever floats your boat!
But the point to be made is that she did NOT get permission, did NOT ask her husband, did NOT let her husband know what she was going to do or did.
If she truly loves her husband and wants a different type of marriage (swinging or open if you will) then she needs to let her DH know, make sure he's okay w/ it & then take it from there. But keeping it from her husband & making plans to see this man again is just WRONG, no if's or and's about it.
Again, if she was truly sure of her decision to sleep w/ another man & that her husband would approve she wouldn't have posted this ? and she wouldn't have said that her husband would be upset if he found out (which she stated).
With that said... ask & you shall receive.
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