[bruins76]

Sorry...no sympathy from me here. And although I know what it's like to have more of an interest in sex than the other person, to feel "turned down" or not good enough cause they aren't interested in certain things, it doesn't give you "cart blanche" to do what ever you want to satisfy you, it's not all about you. Perhaps you didn't go to the right counselor. I know from personal experience that not all counselors are "right" for certain ppl, I've been through my fair share that's for sure.

Anyways...here's my opinion & take it for what it's worth...

Let's review...

First off, is that all your marriage is worth? 35 minutes or so of sexual pleasure? is that it? all the years, tears, child bearing/raising? Sorry but if that is all it's worth to you, your husband deserves MUCH better than you. I don't care if he knows you are unhappy, I don't care if you've gone to counseling or he's told you to do what ever, you are NOT being honest, you are putting your health as well as his at risk. You are not being true, honest or even trust worthy. It make's me sick. I have friends who have "sex buddies" cause they married their current hubbies for $ rather than love, I hate that too... if you don't love someone truly enough for all that they are, bad in bed, or what ever, then they don't deserve you, they deserve someone who is true to them, that they can trust, cause you cannot be trusted. Marriage is about trust, not sex! I am seriously disgusted & I don't care how you explain yourself or try to justify yourself, it's not right & no one on this board who truly LOVES their mate would say anything else to support your side.

You've been married to a man for many years, took vows to be FAITHFUL to one another etc., have children in the mix. Part of being married is NOT being w/ other men.

You've told your DH how you're unhappy sexually w/ him (which I can relate too cause I feel the same way w/ my DH), you've even gone to counseling.
Sounds like your DH's ego has been smashed to pieces & by him "giving up" and stating to go elsewhere (which I am 100 percent sure he wasn't serious) is a way of saying "fine, just do what you want" cause he feels like **** already.

Now you're asking if it's possible to be in a marriage & have sex w/ someone else??? Are you kidding me??? The ONLY way that is possible if ALL parties agree, swingers if you will, which in most cases DON'T work cause it's a breech of your marriage contract, all that it stands' for.

I think you are incensitive & if you are THAT unhappy in your marriage you need to leave it & pronto before you give a disease to your DH or hurt him more. Sex is a good portion of suff but it's not everything. When you took your marriage vows you said "better, worst, sickness, health, t'ill death..." apparently that has gone out the window cause you aren't sexually satisfied anymore? What if he was in a serious accident (like Christopher Reeves) and could never perform again? Are you telling me that you'd leave your DH cause he couldn't "perform"? If you would leave in that case, then you never took marriage seriously & it's time to cut your loss w/ your DH and give him the opportunity to find someone who values HIM as a person, not for his sexual performance.

GL