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I have to agree with Little Fury and ExtraChris. You know that "for better or worse" vow? This issue fits under that heading. To me, if you are going to get married, then do it right. If you want to have an open relationship or swing, fine. But let it be honest communication between partners. If you cheat as a one time thing, I still think you need to be honest, but it is forgiveable. I think a long term affair could be forgiveable depending on the situation, but it is NOT excusable. You should either a. fix the problem b. leave the relationship. Don't do this thing behind his back, if you care about him or your kids. That's a good reason for him to get custody when he finds out and divorces you.
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