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Old 12-03-2006, 10:27 AM
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I would like to offer an alternative suggestion to your intent to use the Missionary position for your first experience. Many people do use this position and I was no different; however, that was before I knew better. I would like to suggest that the two of you begin with the Woman Superior position and for these reasons:

1. It places you in control of the events about to happen
* You know where your vaginal opening is and where his penis is
and can easily and deftly bring the two together, thus saving him
possible embarrassment from fumbling around and searching
* You can then position the tip of his penis exactly where you
need to, either against the hymen or perhaps along side it and
the wall of the vagina--assuming your hymen is intact
* Next, you can apply just the right amount of pressure against
the hymen and/or the entrance and back off when you need to--
and to repeat until you are able to gain entry
* Assuming that he can and does enter your vagina, you then
are able to control the depth and speed of his entrance so it is
(more) comfortable for you
* You can then pause for as long as you wish in order to snuggle
before beginning to stroke
* When stroking begins, you are then able to set the pace, depth,
and tempo

2. The Woman Superior position is one of the few that offers a woman the best opportunity to achieve an orgasm directly from intercourse. I recommend having one before attempting penetration. If you are not in any discomfort, you then have the best opportunity to work up an orgasm because of the direct an ongoing contact between your bodies; although, having said this, do not expect an orgasm from intercourse or fingering the first time or two. There are usually just too many things going on for an orgasm to happen and any discomfort will often sidetrack an orgasm and this is why it is nice to work one up beforehand.

3. While above, you have the flexibility to squat, kneel, and/or rest on your hands or forearms.
* He can reciprocate to some extent by raising his hips upward
toward you on each stroke
* He can steady and support your breasts from possibly bouncing
too much
* In addition, he can caress your breasts
* In addition, he can finger your clitoris
* In addition, he can continue to caress your body and add any
additional physical support to you while in this position

4. If, after having intercourse this way and availing yourself of the many benefits, and you want to continue on, the two of you can always switch around and get into the Missionary position for a little more fun and games.

Once again, consider that he may fumble around for awhile regardless of position in his first attempts to find your vaginal opening. You can save him from this anxiety by taking his penis and directing it where you need to.

There has been some discussion recently about why and what to do when guys loose their erection when attempting penetration the first time or two. If this should happen, do not make a big deal out of it. It happens because of one or both of the following reasons: Performance Anxiety or the physical pressure applied to the root structure of the penis at its base and inside the abdominal cavity as pressure is applied in order to gain entry.

Should he loose his erection, either of you can work up another one; and having just said "either", I believe it is a wonderful gesture for the woman to do this. There is a side benefit to doing so. We become much more turned on when in the presence of a lover, so having our lover take over at a time like this gives a better opportunity for that next erection to become stronger and firmer! Hint...hint.... Besides, you can use this opportunity to build his ego so as you (re)build any erection, whisper nice things about it, and what his penis does for you and anything else that crosses your mind. Guys have a "fragile male ego" so anything you can do to bolster his confidence is a good thing.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?
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