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OK, I know this is gonna be long, so forgive me. There just arent too many people I can really be open with about this, and Id like some insight.
My wife and I have been married for 2 and a half years. We're not typical newlyweds, as we have known each other since high school...started dating when we were 15 and we are both now 27. The relationship took a break for a few years after high school, and she had a child to another man, but we just knew there was nobody else for either of us and weve been back together for a good 4 years now. Strange story, I know, but I wanted to give that background. We've known each other for almost half our lives, so it isnt a typical newlywed situation.
Anyway, getting to the point. Sex is soooooo plain. There are many reasons for this, I feel, but here's the catch...we JUST got to the point where it has become regular, and I dont want to push it. For a while there, I was lucky to get it once a week. I brought it up to her a lot, she said I was sweet and loved me very much and this and that and whatever, but she claimed she just wasnt f"risky". *That's fine....but I explained to her that she needed to communicate this to me, to keep me informed of her feelings, because after a time of very little sex, it began to hurt me very much. Then I became hurt even more when there were a few times she mentioned to me that "I was frisky last night.....but you didnt do anything". How the HECK was I supposed to know!!!!
Anyway..the past two months have been alright. She claims she doesnt want "anymore sex problems". But, ya know, I dont want to force her, either. If its a freaking job, then I just dont want to do it. And sometimes I get the sense that it is. She is never bitter, but I DO get the sense that she is just letting me bang her.
Im having serious issues with this. I feel betrayed, though I wont admit that to her, because I dont want to hurt her. Her and I talked extensively about this before marriage....she knew very well that my drive was very high, and hers apparently was too. She loved to swallow (so she says). Of course that stopped on the wedding night, I have had maybe 3 blow jobs since marriage. Meanwhile, I go down on her EVERY SINGLE TIME. Its like....she has become shy and ultra-conservative for some reason. Yes, we have spiritual beliefs that we cling to which influenced the degree of sexual activity we engaged in prior to marriage...so maybe the "forbidden factor" turned her on a bit, made her more willing to be a certain way, I dont know.
So, to sum up the best I can....I dont want to hurt her feelings, she is such a sweetie, she is my best bud, she is my whole world...but she is different now, and I do feel betrayed on a certain level. If this is the way she is deep down, thats OK, I can live with that. But I dont think she is....and I really really really want her to loosen up. I am so afraid of offending her if I open up a bit...theres a lot Id love to add to our sex life. Stuff that was no issue at all before we got married, but I think she would balk at now.
So...any insight? Think it was a change of heart? Is her self-image suffering, and she just doenst feel sexy anymore? Is she just tired of it? Ive asked her in a very guarded way, doing my best not to make her feel like I am unsatisfied with her, and she apparently doesnt feel that she IS any different (!).
EDIT: Allow me to add that she is a housewife. I work 9-5 and she is able to stay home. She says she is very happy this way. Yes, she does most of the cleaning around the house. I actually do most of the cooking, both because I like to and because I like to help out. We arent a couple where the wife does everything, AND works, AND cares for the kids. We both work hard, and she has said time and time again that she feels our workload is equal. I add this because I know it is such a common issue, and after re-reading my post, is the first question I would ask were it another person.
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