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Good to see Oberon and LittleFury still handing out sage advice on this board. Tho I think counseling is premature.
A few points to think about:
This is NOT at all unusual. The fact that she's "willing to have standard...'put it in me, til you're done' sex a few times a week" tells me that she's a loving and nurturing person. She wants to please you despite the fact that it's not always satisfying for her. And after 5 years of marriage, that's pretty frequent anyway. I don't know how you find the time.
Jobs, kids, bills, stress, fatigue are all sex-life killers. I have no way of knowing your family situation. But if it's like the vast majority, that mean's your working long self-employed hours. She's working a part time job outside the house and a fulltime job inside the house. Wife, mother, cook, homework tutor, housekeeper, etc. Yes, that's a generalization.
My wife and I have been married 20-years and both have full-time, professional positions. I can't expect her to come home every day at 5pm, cook dinner, work on the kids' homework, etc. So I do the cooking and cleaning and work with the kids so she's not overwealmed when she gets home.
Is it possible that she's simply in over her head? Needs a bit of help around the house? As said, I'm not being judgemental because I don't know your particular situation.
My advice is to continue to communicate, but take the communication to bed with you. What she likes this week may be different from what she wants next week. For the next couple months, focus on the quality of your lovemaking (that's LOVEMAKING!), not the quantity. From your post, it sounds like you want the quality more than the quantity when it gets right down to it. And don't forget to make it her night ONLY once in awhile. All the action is focused on her- not you.
And while movies and toys can be a great addition to a good sex life, they're not the silver bullet (pun intended). They're like screwdrivers. Sometimes you need a slot head and sometimes the job takes a philips. First you have to figure out if you need a tool, and then pick the right one for the task at hand.
Be patient and don't stop the communication. You're in for a lot more ebbs and tides in your marriage. You and your wife will need to work through them all together.
As for foxglove6, I'm not quite clear about how the church mannaged to ruin your sex life, but running off to join in threesomes certainly ain't gonna mend it.
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